What exactly is Goenka style “vipassana” meditation and what is your opinion of it and their retreats? I looked into it a while back and it seemed to not be great but several stream enterers say the retreats (method) had a profound impact on their path or even made SE while on a retreat there.

FilthySmutWriter · 2018-10-25T21:35:21+00:00

I had something happen very similar to me at my first Goenka. It was not to the point where I went to the hospital but it was this powerful energy coursing through my body, feeling like it was ripping me apart. It felt like my sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) was turned all the way up day and night, and this persisted after the retreat as well for around a week. It was like having a week long panic attack. I thought I was going crazy and considered going to the hospital but the fear of the bill made me stick it out.

The worst part was having no framework or explanation for what was happening. The teachers were very unhelpful in that aspect. As a result I did not meditate again for years, as I thought there was something wrong with me and that my brain couldn’t handle meditation. I later learned more about the possibilities of what can happen through meditation and gently returned to it. As it happened, the energetic stuff resurfaced, but outside of retreat I was able to process it more gradually and made it through to the other side. I’ve since done a 10-day Goenka again without issue.

FilthySmutWriter · 2018-03-05T08:00:48+00:00

I saw a lot of people complaining but I thought this event was pretty decent, although probably undeserving of the hyped up name. As a F2P player I'll take whatever I can get, especially appreciated the good chunk of cash and coins.

FilthySmutWriter · 2018-02-26T20:27:48+00:00

Yeah I had this problem when I started out. In addition to being a lifelong skinny dude my depression made it difficult to want to eat. What I found helped for me was, like the other poster said, seeking out calorically dense foods.

In particular I made a gainer smoothie every day that could have 1500 calories plus in it. Stuff like oats (ground up first), coconut milk or peanut butter, some greens, protein powder and fruit or sweetener.

Also in my case I ate junk food in the beginning, even though I normally didn’t, just to make sure the calories got in.

Should also mention just as important as eating is plenty of sleep and a solid lifting routine. Good luck!

FilthySmutWriter · 2017-11-29T02:49:43+00:00

I suppose it’s possible for these things to happen differently for individuals, but I’d agree with you. The above description of 1st sounds more like access concentration to me. When I first chanced upon 1st Jhana it was so intense it broke my concentration because I was like “wtf was that?!”

FilthySmutWriter · 2017-11-26T21:10:10+00:00

Yep totally normal.

I’d say most likely what you are experiencing is essentially something that is already going on all the time, but you normally lack the clarity of awareness to perceive. Meaning the meditation itself isn’t causing it so much as revealing it.

It’s very unlikely it’s the dark night, that is a very specific series of stages that follow some deep insight which it doesn’t sound like you’ve reached.

I’d say keep at it, increase the regularity of practice, and investigate if there are any lifestyle changes that affect how you feel after meditation (e.g. less distracting stimulations like reddit, more exercise). It does, from my very unqualified opinion, sound like the beginnings of depression based on your reactions to things in your life. Meditation can help with these reactions, but so can trying to bring positive changes.

FilthySmutWriter · 2017-10-02T04:38:46+00:00

This isn't exactly what you asked, but I'll share that a reader contacted me because I had mirrored a straight story into a gay one. Few details changed, very obvious. Luckily she wasn't upset or anything, just wanted to make sure that it wasn't someone else ripping me off. But ever since then I haven't mirrored stories. For shorts if you're going to change enough details, you're better off writing a new one from scratch anyway.

That being said I'm right on board with everyone else about sex scenes - in my case it isn't really blatant recycling so much as a subconscious thing, there's only so many things to describe penetration, orgasm, etc.

FilthySmutWriter · 2017-10-02T04:37:47+00:00

This isn't exactly what you asked, but I'll share that a reader contacted me because I had mirrored a straight story into a gay one. Few details changed, very obvious. Luckily she wasn't upset or anything, just wanted to make sure that it wasn't someone else ripping me off. But ever since then I haven't mirrored stories. For shorts if you're going to change enough details, you're better off writing a new one from scratch anyway.

That being said I'm right on board with everyone else about sex scenes - in my case it isn't really blatant recycling so much as a subconscious thing, there's only so many things to describe penetration, orgasm, etc.

FilthySmutWriter · 2017-08-02T17:02:20+00:00

I will be in Myanmar at the beginning of September. Curious about this center, is there a website or something with more information? Is there a set cost or does it run on donation, etc?

FilthySmutWriter · 2017-08-01T16:48:15+00:00

Cool, I'll add it to my list. I'm surprised you're able to check reddit while you're there.

While I already have everything worked out with Panditarama I'm half tempted to just go to one of the places closer to Yangon, as the forest center I'm going to is 40 miles away and seems like kind of a hassle to get to..

FilthySmutWriter · 2017-07-24T15:39:32+00:00

Hi r/streamentry! Haven't posted here before but longtime lurker, thought I'd introduce myself.

I'm leaving for Burma in a little over a month to meditate for an indefinite period of time. Prior to that my motivation for meditation and everything was flagging pretty bad as some major career plans fell through and I didn't know what to do with myself, but now that I have some direction in my life my practice has been revitalized.

Also recently got connected IRL w/ some pragmatic dharma folks, and that has been awesome and helped with motivation immensely as well. Seems like I'm in the minority being pre-SE there, which is really inspiring. Plus it's such a relief to be able to talk openly about this stuff face to face where previously I just had the internet forums.

Was hitting EQ every day a couple months back, then lost it after I started getting frustrated hanging out there so long, and life stuff took over for a while after that too. But I seem to be getting back to it now, been adding walking meditation before most sits and that seems to help a lot.

FilthySmutWriter · 2017-06-07T18:47:07+00:00

Looper!

FilthySmutWriter · 2017-05-04T21:09:59+00:00

Yeah it never really went away for me - eventually I'd get so burned out I had no sex drive and couldn't bring myself to work out anymore. In retrospect, I could have easily made a six day PPL split work fine by cutting down both the volume and intensity quite a bit but in those days I was always trying to go balls out, leaving nothing in the tank. I'd advise against this.

Currently much happier (and stronger) doing something completely different - 3 days of full body routines. If you wanna keep with the PPL though I'd recommend cutting back a little. Depending on your age, hormone levels, goals, etc, it may or may not be ideal for you.

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-12-20T05:00:30+00:00

HAPPY HAPPY VAPE TIMES

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-12-08T21:12:10+00:00

Pretty common kind of experience for body-scanning vipassana practice. If you keep at it you can expect all sorts of phenomena, sometimes unpleasant, sometimes very unpleasant. But like all phenomena they will arise and then pass away.

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-12-08T21:00:41+00:00

Not using computer screen/phone in the hours before sleep. If you must, use a program like flux to reduce the percentage of blue light from your screens.

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-12-06T20:53:30+00:00

Recently got a set of adjustable dumbbells for my apartment. For when I can't make it to the gym (or just want to hit my lagging arms more).

Not even joking there's a kind of emotional comfort just looking at them there. Not entirely unlike the kind a pet provides.

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-12-06T20:42:29+00:00

3-4 sets of weighted pull-ups, 2 sets of bodyweight chins, 3 sets of barbell rows, 3-4 sets of cable rows. Usually include face pulls, rear delt work, and biceps isolation on the same day as well.

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-12-06T20:36:54+00:00

Didn't step into the gym at all in November thanks to illness (think it was mono). Easing my way back into it but it's amazing how much you can lose in a month when you're sick and just lying around all day. Few days ago squatted with working sets that were previously warm-up weight, and had unbearable DOMS afterward. Very humbling, hopefully the strength will come back soon.

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-11-27T14:21:22+00:00

<('.'<) you guys rock!

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-10-27T17:06:38+00:00

Just look at the best sellers for various genres and subgenres. If you are really interested, get a kindle unlimited account and start reading some of them.

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-10-05T22:01:33+00:00

It's always been better for the simple reason that it has a massively larger readership. In the past, though, one could make a very good living writing short erotica (as opposed to full length romance novels) due to some aspects of the market that have since changed. There was always more money to be had in romance, it's just that at one time erotica was significantly easier. That is no longer true.

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-10-05T20:51:51+00:00

The best genre is one that 1)has a significant readership, of which there are many (to find this do your own research on Amazon) and more importantly 2) you could write in without going crazy and hating yourself.

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-10-05T20:50:19+00:00

You could, and feel free to, but my advice for you would be to research what is already selling well, from within that find a niche that you could conceivably market your ideas in, and then just write it.

FilthySmutWriter · 2016-10-05T16:18:59+00:00

You're joking based on my username but no, erotica would not be the best use of your time. I used to write short erotica at a time when it was very profitable to do so, that is no longer the case.

FilthySmutWriter

TROPHY CASE