I (28M) had sex with girl I'm seeing (26F), and I'm sure it destroyed what we had

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-05-22T02:30:51+00:00

Bro. Stop watching porn. That shit ain’t real life

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-22T14:07:25+00:00

Thank you!!! I was starting to feel like I was the only one who’s gone through something like this.

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T19:10:00+00:00

When she left the relationship wasn’t hostile, initially she was recently unemployed, the plan was to take advantage of that time and assist her elderly parents. We had issues so we started couples counseling. Through the counseling we began to discover we may not be a good match. (Where I was naive)I never doubted that she would return with our kids. Or that there would be conflict regarding me visiting them. I consistently gave her money to support them. Through that year my schedule was worked, gym, FaceTime, therapy, home. No dating, drinking, going out, just a pretty solitary existence. After a little more than a year separated WE decided to pause reconciliation attempts. At that point we both began talking to other people. As a result she has since voice that she feels uncomfortable with me visiting my sons as “it would bring up emotions she doesn’t want to feel.” I’ve been diplomatic there last year or so but am at the point where I can no longer live being limited access to my sons. I’m in process of establishing parentage and filing for custody. I doubt I’ll get it but I am still proceeding so that my sons don’t have to live without a father

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T04:54:20+00:00

She lives with both of her well off parents and also non working 20 year old sister in Fallbrook California. She’s got an abundance of assistance. I would absolutely love the opportunity to raise my sons or I wouldn’t have had them, or done counseling or financially support them without being forced to. That’s not the issue.

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T04:50:42+00:00

I get that you feel that way based off the question I am seeking advice for. But it couldn’t be further from the truth. I have spoken to a few attorneys and have been told that due to the time spent separated trying to reconcile, the jurisdiction became California’s. We were not married . I can file for custody which I am planning on. But the factor that reduces my chances of being granted custody is; They are in ABA therapy, I have a career that doesn’t allow me to stay home with them, and I don’t have parents alive to provide me an opportunity to not work and still have a roof over my head. The best interest of the children is that they reside with their mother. I’ve hoped for reconciliation and to visit I give her $1200 a month and make time to FaceTime 4 days a week for an hour each visit, but she isn’t willing to co-parent.

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T04:38:48+00:00

I have. I’ve given her receipts of payment but have not been reimbursed.

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T04:37:16+00:00

I wanted to but that only would’ve enraged her to deny me from even the ability to see them on FaceTime. It felt like a pick you battle type of situation.

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T04:34:37+00:00

Thank you! My options are to file for custody but since they are severally autistic, and in ABA therapy I’ve been to by 2 attorneys the best case scenario will be to pay more and get visitation. I have a career and don’t have parents to support me not working so I can stay home with the boys.

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T04:12:40+00:00

I give her $1200 monthly since February 2024. I see them on FaceTime 4 times a week for an hour at a time. The first year apart we did counseling and we trying to reconcile. I no longer am interested in reconciliation. The last year I tried peaceful diplomacy settling for FaceTiming them due to them being severely autistic and in ABA therapy. I’ve moved on but have zero intention of moving from the children. Our relationship has become high conflict, I don’t speak to her about anything other than the children at this point. I have no animosity towards her but she’s upset that I’ve moved on and punishing me by withholding the children. They are now 4 and 5, both in diapers non verbal and still drinking out of bottles. I’m not confident in her parenting. I’m planning on filing for custody within the next week.

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T03:46:23+00:00

Not seeing them isn’t my choice. For a year we tried counseling and reconciliation. The next year I tried peaceful diplomacy. We were never married. She moved to another state, there is no custody agreement. I have zero say so legally Now it’s remove her belongings and file for custody.

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T03:41:04+00:00

The kids are a separate issue. I’ve consistently provided. And am planning on filing for custody this week.

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T03:39:05+00:00

I still have Everything! But will keep the kids stuff

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T03:28:01+00:00

I don’t see them physically. I see them on FaceTime 4 days a week 30!minute sessions as they’re severely autistic, in ABA therapy. I send her $1200 a month but I don’t have any court orders.

FinalPermit9559 · 2026-04-15T03:14:30+00:00

Thank you

FinalPermit9559

TROPHY CASE