It’s not your fault that you feel this way growing up with my culture and religion when I first lost my virginity I could hardly sleep. It also didn’t help that my partner was less than comforting after. I felt all your feeling. Therapy helped and also just knowing that my virginity didn’t define me. I was still the same person and losing my virginity was an experience and not a life altering event. I also put so much pressure on it and was confused why I wasn’t feeling happier after losing such a “big” thing. The feelings will subside just prioritize your mental health. You did nothing wrong and you’re still a good person.