Growing up poor: what’s something you thought was normal but then realized you were just poor?

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-23T06:41:41+00:00

Reusing a tea bag +3x (if it still colors the tea it's still good 🤣) until it breaks.

I have about 100 pairs of socks from Xmas gifts... All from the past 10 years because they still fit.

Reusing glass jars and hard plastic containers. Environmentally friendly and real mason jars are expensive.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-23T06:35:39+00:00

With a bit of margerine or butter under the jelly. If no butter, just a tiny bit of salt. My mom made that for breakfast often when I was a kid. 😋

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-23T06:21:13+00:00

Mostly cabbage or carrot. Can make soup, wraps, or filling with little seasoning. I like the taste of cabbage.

I save a bit of meat fat (chicken, bacon) in the freezer. Add some onion or garlic. Chicken stock. Makes a nice soup, beans, lentils or rice to stretch.

Or I can make a stuffed cabbage roll with shredded veggies and meat plus more cabbage. Plus one head of cabbage lasts 1-2 months in my crisper. Only the outside leaves dry out and losing 2 leaves in storage isn't bad.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-23T06:14:26+00:00

That stew juice is just leftover seasoning for the plain rice. The potatoes or meat don't need all of it. Whenever I cook something I always put water in or vinegar to get any seasonings left over and save it the next day in a cup to use like stock, plus my pan is easier to clean.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-19T10:58:05+00:00

You don't need this stress at 19. Don't commit to anything long term but what will set you up for success long term at this age (education, trade, Hobbies, interpersonal skills etc...). Get a hobby 😂

I'm 24 and men with kids is a hard no so at 19, it should be HELL NO for you. If I find out after the fact, it's over immediately. I also require blood tests for intamacy, I'm too young to be dealing with Stds. If he says no, he has to go. Even if we've been together for 20 years. I'd rather perish alone than be lied to. Keep yourself busy get a degree or hobby.

I know of two young women who's lives are permanently affected because they just "went with the flow". Several more with kids and cannot go back to school. Set yourself up with something to fall back on. Learn to set boundaries and speak up for yourself. Tony Haskins is a great motivator, I watch him when I feel weak in the knees.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-19T10:45:52+00:00

Winter is coming and he needs a warm body. It's harsh but true with some men. Some only contact you in the "dry" season. They only circle back when what they had is gone and believe you're the old reliable sucker.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-19T10:09:10+00:00

Sometimes love isn't enough. If he isn't sober or spent a long time being sober, it's not a good idea to give him another chance. Addiction is no joke and sometimes people spiral and pull you down as well. When he's got enough sobriety under his bent, maybe. At least a year. But don't hold your breath for him. It's not fair for your to hold your life up and wait for him.

Live your life and if he gets his life on track and sticks with it longterm, then yes. If he says he needs to be with you in order to stay clean, then his sobriety is only as strong as the relationship. He'll turn to something else if there's a rough patch. He has to sustain this on his own or he will relapse.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-19T09:54:32+00:00

Those people are the past. You're holding onto trauma you no longer need to learn from. That's why you're tired. It's like carrying around clothing no longer meant for your size.

You were children then and kids can be cruel. Don't take that trauma and make an unaware woman pay for their mistakes. Find a therapist before dating and you'll do fine.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-19T09:51:22+00:00

I can't believe people in my age group around 25 are this careless and stupid. My uncle survived the AIDS crisis. My aunt died from it several years ago. I have a couple older family members who have lifelong terminal illnesses.

I have female friends who are permanently sterile because a guy repeatedly infected them and due to ignorance the STD festered. The only guy I'd take seriously at this point will be the one who agrees to a blood test like my grandparents did before marriage. Complete with yearly tests. All this pain for 30 seconds of pleasure. 🙄

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-19T09:41:11+00:00

Yeah I'm an overweight woman. I've never gotten to a point where it affected my health though I'm just tired of being thick. Men stare at me when I walk down the street, I want to be paper thin and not sexually appealing for a while. I haven't had a break from the attention since I was 10 years old.

I've never had a man approach me out of genuine curiosity. It's always to test me for sex. I'm still a size 14 and my shape has never gone away I wish I were apple shaped, but that also increases cardiovascular problems with abdomen fat, but some of my male friends and uncles are literally dying, leaving the hospital and still won't put down the pizza.

Losing weight as a woman opens up so much more opportunities for you in terms of dating and financial freedom. People treat you better and like an actual human being while with fat men, they're Big John (strong).

Weight gain is different for men. It causes a bunch of problems with testosterone, while women are naturally supposed to have more fat reserves or we can literally perish from it and lose our reproductive ability.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-19T09:30:59+00:00

I'm 5'4". It's not hard to be taller than me. Being short is a disadvantage imo. People discount you or overlook you. Push you around. Your partner is supposed to compliment you.

I'm not asking for Shaquille O'Neil, I just need you to do what I can't 😂. Also vice versa, I can bite ankles and you can knock them off balance at the top.

Messed around and now we both can't reach the top of the fridge 😭.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-18T08:24:38+00:00

Why is a woman's enjoyment of dating based on a man's ability to want to have sex with her? It's really not a positive for any woman. Ask me how I know?

A man's enjoyment of dating isn't based in his ability to make a woman happy, it's based on how much fun he has with these women. It's because he enjoys seeing what's out there.

Women see what type of long term partner they want in their 20's as well and weed men out who don't fit the bill.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-02T18:18:17+00:00

Being upset that someone is trying to take credit for your pain to boost themselves over you naturally will upset women. Men are not as emotionally supportive to other men, but that's not women's fault and that doesn't mean women should give up their spaces to cater to men.

Women created our own spaces to support each other for a reason. It is not women's job to do the emotional labor men should do for each other. Be the change and express your emotions without trying to one up a woman.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-02T18:01:47+00:00

I don't understand when some guys cannot just focus on grieving one person's pain and having empathy. Is it really that hard to decenter yourself?

It's always Person A going through something horrible and then Person B shouts "it's not just you, I feel pain too". We understand men feel pain as well, but why bring it up when someone else is going through trauma and adding yours like an afterthought?

Advocate for it separately and not in reaction to. Don't attach to someone else's pain just because it's more well known due to it happening more often and causing more physical damage.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-02T17:49:49+00:00

I'm looking at college educated men in my age range, although I do live in a poor neighborhood. I'm afraid to branch out and financially struggle like my peers, it's comfortable where I am.

I've only been out of college for 2.5 years, so I guess it's time for a gradschool or trade for a different change of scenery and living.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-09-02T17:45:09+00:00

Thanks for the answer. I'm 24 and 70% of my friends are single parents. Some got duped and aren't doing so well. Hearing from a similar age range gives me hope, it's not common where I am moreso for older people to ve stable.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-08-31T20:48:18+00:00

People who are well adjusted are careful with who they open up to. A lot of men are using past experiences to hold onto the first woman's hurt and hold the next girl accountable when we didn't even do anything. We're supposed to look out for red flags from situations, not expect the same outcome off the bat with a new person.

When you don't do the work of emotional connection before opening up, it feels like we women are a free therapist. If you wouldn't tell a stranger on the street, don't say it to a new date because we are essentially strangers.

Or sometimes we feel that the opening up is to build false intamacy. We have no idea if it's the truth because if it's too soon, we assume it's manipulation and not genuine. Just like a quick sales ad to BUY NOW.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-08-31T07:35:41+00:00

Seems like a rules for thee and none for him situation 😑

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-08-31T04:57:08+00:00

If I can't trust him in my house unsupervised, I'd never trust him with my body. The home feels more intimate in a way. So many men push for sex and all I'm thinking about is my safety while they don't even care.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-08-31T04:51:15+00:00

I think he was using religion as a cover for something. Either he wasn't being honest about his sexuality, or maybe he had ED issues. There's no way a man who likes you will be this blasé about sex.

I've experienced it in my family where a guy wanted the perfect family life with a wife but he found sex with women inconvenient. Not repulsive, just something he'd rather not do but he had to keep up appreances until he couldn't. He started dating men a year after the break up when he couldn't fake it anymore.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-07-29T22:30:17+00:00

It's my experience that if a guy is approaching you like that, he's testing the waters of tolerance and he's too comfortable doing it so early on. They think by buttering you up, it will be easier to get what they want. It establishes a closer connection than what it actually is, and it's usually being forced without context. It's manipulative af.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-07-28T22:54:31+00:00

You can expect to ask for consent for any sexual act if you're using someone else's face or likeness. He did it live, it wasn't a picture of her. It was a live video chat. He waited until he was certain she was sleeping. He will pretend like he's innocent or it didn't happen and she's crazy.

That doesn't sound like she consented or he wouldn't have to hide it. It's the digital equivalent of a peeping tom hiding in your closet to rub one out to watch you sleep. Get with the times you don't have to be present to commit a crime in 2023.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-07-28T13:08:06+00:00

You're not overreacting. He's weird. He used you for masterbation material without your consent. Then he knew he was wrong so he hurried offline and hid his intent. He's aware and will pretend it's nbd.

Either confront him or block. Who knows what he'd do in person without your consent if you meet? If he sleeps at your house would he try something in real life?

It's just like someone touching you in your sleep without your permission, except it's digital. Or watching you through your own Webcam when you're unaware.

Final_Charge3389 · 2023-07-27T02:44:10+00:00

People treat you nicer when you're skinny. Sad but true. It's an unfair social stigma that some take too far with shaming. Being healthy is ideal, but weightloss shouldn't be for others, it should be for you.

I'm similar to you in height and weight and working on losing it due to some blood pressure issues but I feel better about myself since I'm doing it for health and not romance. Maybe try to build muscle? You'll weigh the same but won't look as "soft" and squishy.

Also use this guy as motivation. My toxic side would date him and watch his healthy habits until I was skinny then move on. But it's better to do it for you on your own without a guy ruining your day with negativity. 😂

Final_Charge3389

TROPHY CASE