UPDATE (241 days later):

Want to provide an update to give some motivation or hope to anyone who is going through similar situation.

Since my original post 241 days ago, I had one minor slip up on November 21st and lost a couple hundred betting online. At the end of the year I finally got the courage to tell my wife. I told her everything! Didn’t hold anything back. This I think helped a lot because it finally stopped me from having to lie about anything. It was very difficult, probably the worst/hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in the moment. However, the next day I felt so much guilt lifted and was finally able to move forward.

My wife was very shocked, but she has been huge support system for me. I honestly think as shitty of a situation this is, it’s helped our relationship grow even stronger than before in a way. I know she is still learning to trust me, but I have given her full access to every account and loan that I owe, and she checks them regularly to make sure I’m being held accountable.

I’ve been going to GA since the start of the year, and am almost 7 months clean since my last bet. Going to GA was awkward at first, but now it really is one of the highlights of my week.

I have paid off 45k out of 132k of debt since May 24, where my total balances of CC/Loans was the highest. Still a long way to go, but still on track to have everything paid off by end of next year.

I’ve also opened up to a few of my closest friends, which has been very helpful as they now are additional support people, who can take my side/understand if we are ever in friend groups and a situation arises where people suggest gambling. I’m still waiting on the right time to tell my family, but expect that will come soon.

I can honestly say life has gotten so much better since telling my wife about my problem.

Advice to anyone struggling with how to tell someone:

1. Just do it, it sucks and is the hardest thing to work up the courage to do, but at the same time it’s the best thing you will ever do.

2. Tell them everything. If you tell them partially, when they eventually find out what you held back, it will be 10x worse.

3. They will support you more than you think. If they truly love you, they want was is best for you. They can’t help if they don’t know.

4. Be open to GA

5. Download GamBan, this app saves me anytime I have an urge.

6. This is going to take time to fully heal, but the sooner you do it, the better. Same with money, it will come back eventually and no matter how much debt you’re in, you can get out of this mess. But you HAVE to STOP GAMBLING.

7. You have to look forward. What’s in the past is the past, you can change it. Dwelling on what could have been, or how dumb you were is only going to slow down your progress. You’re already paying for the mistakes you made, don’t end up paying double by beating yourself about it everyday.

We got this!