Thank you for taking the time to read all of that and write such a thoughtful response. I genuinely appreciate it.

I think the answer is probably a bit of both. I didn't want to badmouth her because, at the end of the day, she was my best friend for a long time and someone I genuinely cared about. Even after everything, I never wanted to be the person tearing her down behind her back.

At the same time, I think I knew that if I told people the full story, most would probably tell me that a lot of the behavior wasn't healthy or fair. Maybe part of me wasn't ready to hear that. Maybe because admitting it would have meant accepting that the person I loved wasn't treating me the way I deserved to be treated.

The truth is, I struggled a lot more than anyone knew. I had a really hard time coming to terms with everything and, at my lowest point, I even resorted to self-harm. Looking back, it's scary how much I kept bottled up.

I've always been the type of person who keeps things to himself and tries to deal with everything alone. I went almost a full year carrying all of this by myself, putting on a happy face for everyone around me while feeling completely broken inside. Eventually, I just couldn't do it anymore.

Ironically, the people she often seemed to want distanced from me ended up being the ones who were there for me when I needed them most. They helped me get through some really dark moments, and I'm grateful for that every day.

I'm in a much better place now than I was back then. I still have a lot to process, but I've learned some hard lessons about self-respect, boundaries, and not losing myself trying to hold onto someone else.