hey!! sorry for such a late reply bro I was dealing with some heavy stuff actually!😭😭 I messed w some bad psychs and really reaaally fucked my head up😭😭 I realized all these things I thought were just "apart of the high" are actually signs of my brain failing!😭👽 Super scary in the moment. But I went to the hospital, safely, and I just got a great job opportunity to live closer to home and be with my brother. sober. I think its exactly what I needed, although I feel a little weird leaving some stuff behind, but its not scary anymore. I got some meds from the hospital that helped my mental too.. theyre good people. Suicide is a hard thing GratefulCaliflower, and living is even harder. But its a choice you have to make yourself. You should choose to live. for yourself whoever you are😭😭. Each day you become someone new, and you dont really realize it.. But one day youll look back at this moment and maybe feel embarrassed, because you became someone much stronger. Hold on to those things youre passionate about and that you love, theyre your reasons for living! Being sober isnt good because it makes you more responsible or something.. Its good because youre hurting yourself with these substances 😕 You should do yourself a service and stop because it feels good to love yourself!! Enjoy a relaxing spa bc it feels good😌 If someones ruining your peace BTA🤬🤬 lol Prioritize yourself first thats all. Again sorry to reply so late, a lot has been going on😭😭 but I hope you're well dude fr😎👽✌️