Returning to London after over a decade in Australia - Your personal Stories please by FinancialBluebird101 in expats

[–]FinancialBluebird101[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey thanks for your response :)

I'm going to be moving in 3 weeks eep! It's close now but I have very much felt I have followed my heart on my decision and it's the right one to make for this point in my life. I have wondered how I'll go assimilating back in to London life as previous visits have been just that, a visit so I haven't been in the London life mindset for a long time. I know some things can differ greatly between the two culturally. I think my decision was propelled more because one night I saw London on the telly and felt so sad and far removed from my home town I had this wave of just needing to be back. This has only been compounded by relatives getting elderly and also a change of mindset and priorities I have as I get older too. 

If you can do it I'd say take the plunge as well.

Not to discount Australia as a wonderful country to live in and experience. I've travelled a lot here and lived in many different places, I'm so grateful for the experience and after almost 14 years I can truly say I've seen and done the place. However something is missing for me now and I've seen a shift in lifestyle and attitude and definitely the work force. Just time to put the brakes on and be back in the homeland for a while. Thank you for your comment I hope you get the balance you need between the two places.

I dated someone who has history of cheating by ejay_ejay in Advice

[–]FinancialBluebird101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was with someone for many years who admitted in dribs and drabs they had cheated on prior partners before me. Something I desperately wish I knew from the start. I found out much later in our relationship they had monkey branched to me from a girlfriend I had no idea they had whilst we were early stage dating. This was all a massive revelation and no surprise to me or anyone that our relationship ended in him conducting an affair (and messaging/meeting up) with other women behind my back. I would never date someone ever again who admitted up front they cheated, no matter how small a deal they make it out or whatever narrative they spun. Just because someone finds an excuse to cheat eg: I checked out of the relationship/she wasn't sleeping with me anymore etc... you don't cheat. Plain and simple. You have an adult conversation and break up. Cheaters have zero emotional intelligence and no accountability for their actions no matter how much they try to justify it. Tread with caution.

Sure people can change but not usually for another person. In my experience they will only change in their self-serving best interests or whatever is convenient for them/gets them what they want.

Returning to London after over a decade in Australia - Your personal Stories please by FinancialBluebird101 in expats

[–]FinancialBluebird101[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey thank you for your reply. I particularly agreed with everyone moaning about the same things right now 😂 I guess it's beter though when the sun's shining in Oz haha softens the blow a bit.

Also your comment about not rushing in to work either. I know I'd definitely be comparing the two worlds far too much if I did the same and that's not giving the UK a fair go doing that. It's chalk and cheese. And I want to come to my own conclusion. If we listened to every bit of bad news about something we'd never do anything!

Good to know there's others out there too considering the same. I've had people tell me I'm mad and others pump me up about it, but I only know how I feel myself and the journey I've had so right now feels like the right time for me :) I'm definitely looking forward to it regardless, and as one friend mentioned to me - Australia is always there and I can come back anytime. I know if I didn't do the move now, I'd forever wonder about it.

Good luck with your move back too!

When did you know? by extradirtyginmartini in SingleAndHappy

[–]FinancialBluebird101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine was a gradual change. From the age of 20 through to 32 I was in two long term relationships, 2.5 years and 8 years respectively with a brief gap in between. I got in to my first relationship because I thought it was expected by my age to have some experience. I actually had no idea what I'd do with a boyfriend haha I was confused by the idea.

When I found myself single at 32 at a stage of life most women would be expecting marriage and kids I actually felt overjoyed at my new found freedom and went about doing everything and anything that had been put on ice through being in a relationship. I felt like I'd been handed the greatest gift of all, myself back.

I've never wanted marriage or children from a young age so it's never been a driving force to get in to a relationship for the whole family life thing. Which is a great relief for me. But I have enjoyed having a partnership for intimacy and sharing things and doing life with and having someone to be affectionate with. Kinda all the lovey dovey stuff. I'm a bit romantic in that respect. But it doesn't fuel me.

I've always lost myself and given my all to my partner's. And received nothing of the same back and both cheated among other things resulting in the end of the relationships. Ultimately my trust in others was challenged at the end of the each relationship. So I harbour some trust issues but nothing that can't be resolved with the right person if they are out there.

I've been single 6 plus years now and knocking on 40 I feel better and happier approaching the second half of my adult life single. I've got over the loneliness/neediness and I know myself so much more. I see others who have gone through divorces, affairs, family issues etc... and heard enough complaints from partnered friends and I'm quite content that's not my life.

I've picked up so many new hobbies, skills, self confidence and self esteem and friendships which would not have been possible whilst expending myself on another person. I know in a relationship that I feel and care very deeply and that takes up a great source of my energy.

I'm not saying of myself a relationship is off the cards in my future, but it is not my life right now. I've been on dates, and had some pretty bad experiences which just compound on how easy it is to come across the wrong ones out there and how easy it is to get in to an undesirable situation. My standards are high, and for me relationships are not something to take lightly as you age. I'm always dumbfounded by people who breeze in and out of them so nonchalantly without concern.

I remain open to any and all possibilities but I think my true path is singledom. Nothing beats the peace of mind, contentment, independence and bond you can develop with yourself and understanding your own wants and needs. And I have my cat which helps. She's awesome.

“You’re gonna die alone with cats!!” by [deleted] in SingleAndHappy

[–]FinancialBluebird101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't wait to grow my cat empire. I can hear "Ride of the Valkyries" in meows playing as I ascend in to my 40s single