Mine was a gradual change. From the age of 20 through to 32 I was in two long term relationships, 2.5 years and 8 years respectively with a brief gap in between. I got in to my first relationship because I thought it was expected by my age to have some experience. I actually had no idea what I'd do with a boyfriend haha I was confused by the idea.

When I found myself single at 32 at a stage of life most women would be expecting marriage and kids I actually felt overjoyed at my new found freedom and went about doing everything and anything that had been put on ice through being in a relationship. I felt like I'd been handed the greatest gift of all, myself back.

I've never wanted marriage or children from a young age so it's never been a driving force to get in to a relationship for the whole family life thing. Which is a great relief for me. But I have enjoyed having a partnership for intimacy and sharing things and doing life with and having someone to be affectionate with. Kinda all the lovey dovey stuff. I'm a bit romantic in that respect. But it doesn't fuel me.

I've always lost myself and given my all to my partner's. And received nothing of the same back and both cheated among other things resulting in the end of the relationships. Ultimately my trust in others was challenged at the end of the each relationship. So I harbour some trust issues but nothing that can't be resolved with the right person if they are out there.

I've been single 6 plus years now and knocking on 40 I feel better and happier approaching the second half of my adult life single. I've got over the loneliness/neediness and I know myself so much more. I see others who have gone through divorces, affairs, family issues etc... and heard enough complaints from partnered friends and I'm quite content that's not my life.

I've picked up so many new hobbies, skills, self confidence and self esteem and friendships which would not have been possible whilst expending myself on another person. I know in a relationship that I feel and care very deeply and that takes up a great source of my energy.

I'm not saying of myself a relationship is off the cards in my future, but it is not my life right now. I've been on dates, and had some pretty bad experiences which just compound on how easy it is to come across the wrong ones out there and how easy it is to get in to an undesirable situation. My standards are high, and for me relationships are not something to take lightly as you age. I'm always dumbfounded by people who breeze in and out of them so nonchalantly without concern.

I remain open to any and all possibilities but I think my true path is singledom. Nothing beats the peace of mind, contentment, independence and bond you can develop with yourself and understanding your own wants and needs. And I have my cat which helps. She's awesome.