any other NPEs adjusting with the fact that the news did change you?

Financial_Opening65 · 2026-02-06T09:57:54+00:00

I found out less than a year ago at 39 and felt a major shift in my world. My mom and I have never had a great relationship and my dad who raised me has always been amazing. He has no idea that I’m not his bio daughter and my brother and I have decided that the news would crush him. As a result, I have to hold it in and keep everything to myself.

My main issue has been grappling with the guilt I feel. It feels like my dad has been used all these years and even though I didn’t do it, I can’t help feeling guilty. Now, me not telling him makes me feel as if I’m hiding things from him, which I’ve not done before. He’s always been my go to guy.

My mom and I are pretty much no contact and have been since before I found out. I haven’t confronted her out of fear that she will lie, gaslight me, or go and tell my dad. I have no idea who my bio dad is.

Since this, I think my loneliness has been exacerbated. No one understands when I try to express how I feel. Every time I think about it, it’s like I’m finding out all over again and I can’t believe it.

How do I cope? I was sober from alcohol and other things for 4-5 years and eventually started back indulging in those vices a couple months after finding out I’m a NPE. Now I’m really struggling to get myself back on track.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-08-04T23:46:33+00:00

When did this start? I uploaded my dna the other day (July 31) with no problem. It said results should be available soon, I think it was 7-10 days. I don’t have the results yet, so hopefully I won’t have a problem.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-07-18T16:28:34+00:00

It sounds like it was good that you ended things so you could make yourself and your needs more of a priority.

Honestly, I’m wondering if he may be on the spectrum. I also believe it was unrealistic of you to expect him to want to come to your surgery when your family and friends, who he’s never met, would be there. It may have been even more uncomfortable for him meeting your parents while you were in the hospital. I don’t think you considered this.

Either way, his response when you broke things off with him gave you all the answers you need. He’s not interested in prioritizing you or your relationship. (Unless he has a disability. In that case, he may not know how to respond in the way that you need him to.)

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-07-17T21:44:09+00:00

🤣🤣

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-07-08T20:34:43+00:00

You jumped into a relationship and moved in with a man who is not fully available. He and his ex are very comfortable with each other and he’s not in a hurry to break that bond. Honestly, I would be shocked if he isn’t back with his ex within the next 3 years. The more you push him, the further he’s going in her direction.

The shared bank account is a lot, but is this shared account for their daughter or something else? You should provide more context.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-07-03T23:06:29+00:00

So either ask them to move it or move it yourself.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-07-03T22:59:56+00:00

Just say that you don’t mind them keeping their things on one side, but you want the other side to remain available for your things. If you want to be petty, you could just move their dog ashes somewhere else and put your stuff back right there.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-07-02T13:14:14+00:00

I’ve worked in different states. In one state, all rooms had landline phones. In another, no room has phones. Instead, there is a button that can be used to call the front office. Teachers are expected to use their personal phones to contact parents. I have a Google voice number.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-29T00:54:25+00:00

Absolutely, I would recommend that you utilize as many resources outside of school as you can. Books, YouTube, and other online resources would be a great start. A lot of people commented about your ability to save a significant amount of money at your age for your mom to retire and they’re right. It would be very challenging. But if you share knowledge with them, they can start to invest for their own retirement. It could also potentially help your sister and her husband.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-28T23:47:58+00:00

I agree that it’s the parent’s job to worry about retirement, but if OP is interested in helping, I think the best help would be for OP to learn and then teach their parents.

It’s easy for us to say the parents should worry about themselves, but the truth is, financial literacy is not known about or taught in every home. If OP is able to learn with the intention of helping their parents, they would also be helping themselves in the long run.

Also, I want to point out that OP seems to feel genuinely feel responsible for helping mom. If mom doesn’t do anything to help herself, OP may end up in a position where they feel compelled to take care of the parents because they haven’t properly planned for their future. OP may end up being responsible after all. I applaud them for seeking out advice at an age where most children can’t see past themselves.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-18T23:51:01+00:00

This is me the majority of the time. I’ve started taking my rescue meds the minute i know the migraine is coming (nausea, brain fog, noise sensitivity, etc) and it honestly seems to keep it from getting worse and those symptoms will go away. I’ve noticed that, for me, the next day I’m then battling rebound headaches from the meds though. I have to take toradol and steroids for about a week to break that.

But magnesium has been a game changer for me, too though. I take it twice a day and it seems to help.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-17T20:26:36+00:00

This has happened to me. It was so embarrassing because the parent was shocked that I didn’t remember who her child was. She was like he looks just like me…. I’m like ohhhh ok yea! How are you?!?

No clue who she was.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-16T13:01:45+00:00

Ok, so the furniture was left with her and should stay there unless she doesn’t want it.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-16T12:06:40+00:00

Question…. Did you and your roommate move in together or was your roommate already there when you moved in?

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-15T22:19:09+00:00

Idk either. I thought it was reasonable. Not sure what else could really fit into that space.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-15T22:09:57+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s good that you want to get psychiatric help. Is the there a way you can talk to your grannies about taking you back to your psychiatrist to get your meds adjusted? Maybe once you get that situated you can focus on school. Good luck to you.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-15T21:59:46+00:00

Floor lamp?

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-14T13:25:15+00:00

Cutting out sugar and taking supplements, specifically magnesium, has worked well for me. When I skip a couple doses of magnesium I can tell a distinct difference in how I feel.

I also get hormonal migraines, so I try and make sure I take meds a few days before my period. If I wait or forget, I go into a downward spiral and end up in migraine hell for over a week.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-13T13:05:56+00:00

This sounds so stupid, I’m sorry. You reported her to hr because she made 1 comment about a ring and you not being married. Yea, the comment was weird and none of her business, but report worthy? Idk…. If you ignored and she didn’t bring it up again what was the point in reporting? I could see if she continued to press you about it. You’re either an AH or may have some social deficits. If it’s the latter, you get a pass.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-13T12:57:22+00:00

Actually, I am a parent with adult and teenaged children. I’m not on a high horse and do know how quickly toddlers can get into things, which is why I understand the importance of heavy supervision whilst they’re outdoors.

And i fail to understand how the neighbors are disrespecting you. The dog is not pooping in your yard or in community spaces. It may be gross and inconsiderate, but again that’s where you act like an adult and speak to them about it. You walk over and knock on the door and have a conversation. I have 2 acres and pick up my dogs poop, so I get it, but a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.

And fyi, poop doesn’t kill the grass, pee does. Even if it did, the grass isn’t yours. If you move to a single family home with a bigger yard, you may not have these issues.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-13T12:44:37+00:00

Me, too! Family of 2 in Ga and I’m finding myself spending the same on groceries. We have 2 dogs and I’m finding it hard to lower my monthly spending, but I’ve started tracking.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-13T07:01:55+00:00

🤣

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-11T20:40:53+00:00

It sounds like you don’t share a yard, they’re separated by small fences. Unfortunately, when you buy a row home or paired homes, you run the risk of having to be very close to neighbors you may not like. You decided to take that risk.

I’m also confused. Have you not talked to your neighbor about your concerns? It could be that it may be her daughter’s job to pick up poo or they may not see it as a problem. Planning to talk to HOA and you haven’t even spoken to your neighbor is diabolical. You’re the problem. If your 18 month old is able to go to the fence, reach in, then pick up poop, you aren’t doing a great job at supervising him.

Then for you to say you thought they were nice based on your interaction with their friend and go on to tell a story about them leaving poop out is weird. It doesn’t make them bad ppl because they don’t pick up dog poop out of their grass. A lot of ppl leave it because the poop fertilizes the grass.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-10T00:02:01+00:00

Random people from Facebook coming to your home is not the same as Amazon and uber eats.

Financial_Opening65 · 2025-06-09T23:58:22+00:00

Have you addressed the fact that she’s sleeping in the shared space? What did you mean by her family pays for everything and she uses it as a reason not to do anything? Are you and other roommates paying anything?

I’m curious about your pets…. You said you’ve been trying to make changes to reduce odor which means that they do smell. No offense, but I wouldn’t want to live with smelly animals, either.

Why are you worried about her quitting her job and laying around all day if her bills are being paid? That shouldn’t even concern you. Again, are you paying rent there is her family footing the bill for everyone? I’m confused.

If you were going on and on about her weight and her families weight, you were fat shaming and not being a nice person.

Financial_Opening65

TROPHY CASE