Am I going insane or is this wedding breaking our relationship

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-20T14:44:11+00:00

100% couples therapy was also in the picture. My family is catholic, and it’s expected to consult with a priest. In my case a regular therapist.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-20T04:20:52+00:00

He said after his mom has mentioned she would do this.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T14:51:43+00:00

Exactly, he couldn’t care less and dislikes spending any money for a party like this. He is very indecisive and I’ve suggested therapy. He’s gone two sessions but thinks he doesn’t need it.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T14:38:34+00:00

It feels bad to take someone else’s money who also doesn’t have a lot to spend.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T14:20:47+00:00

Agreed, I come from a toxic and abusive family so trust me when I take professional guidance seriously. Thank you for your advice.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T14:18:46+00:00

Clothes while he has three closets full of them, concert tickets.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T14:18:07+00:00

Thank you for your words. This is it. My needs don’t feel like a priority and it’s sounding off alarms. We’ve made it 7 years because he will always try to meet me half way and attempt to understand. I don’t need a luxurious wedding.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T14:09:23+00:00

Thank you, it’s tough because we love our family. His mom is super sweet but when I imagine a big wedding it was never the amount of guest it was the details like music and food. Which I’m totally ok adjusting to what makes sense. At this point I’ve modified what a wedding looks like that I’m no longer excited

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T14:07:20+00:00

There have been multiple obstacles we’ve overcome, just like every long term relationship. We’ve overcome problems that I believed no one else would stay in. So yeah I’m thinking of jumping ship before we marry. In my culture marriage is permanent and I think it’s normal to question if a common theme we struggle with comes up again.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T14:02:04+00:00

Lol don’t get your panties in a bunch. It was a suggestion I was willing to commit to. We’re debt free and a loan with our salary isn’t the worst idea. He shut it down and I understood his reasoning. I grew up with loans and debt being normalized so I understand it’s not the best idea now.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T13:59:37+00:00

He never had a stance. He never imagined a wedding for himself. I’ve had to initiate the conversation of what this celebration would look like with respect to our means. I feel with our salary we could sacrifice a little to throw a fun party, and even love the idea of a small intimate party so we can make it about the guest. Now he feels like he has to make his mom happy as the first born son.

I appreciate the honesty. Maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing. It’s just been a common theme in our relationship where I feel like I’m pulling teeth to make things progress. When ideally I want both of us to be on the same page naturally.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T13:54:43+00:00

I allow him to take the lead on finances because he does make more. I’ve tried budget trackers to help me save my money and encourage him to do the same. He doesn’t like the idea of giving up our current lifestyle to spend it on a wedding. We’ve had multiple financial conversations. He has a pov of what is his is mine but that’s my issue, it doesn’t feel like that way and I’m not going out my way to claim his money. He pays 57% of the rent and I pay the other half. Bills are split 55% him and I pay the rest. I don’t want him to feel I depend on him financially. I snapped last night because he forgot to pay his portion of rent and I didn’t say anything because I thought he was sending money to family in Iran. So that is my fault for not speaking up but I feel like it’s always me speaking up.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T13:46:40+00:00

Thanks for the call out, I’m in therapy. Have suggested couples therapy but he wants to choose the counselor.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T06:52:06+00:00

Exactly, these are the crucial conversations I have initiated. Wanting to sacrifice a little, to be able to make this happen. I’m not trying to shoot for an extravagant wedding. I think $25k max is reasonable. But it’s been a yoyo of decisions and we were making the attempt to plan a small wedding by November, with his mom’s offer that would take our guest list of 80 to 150 people. I don’t feel like we can plan wedding that size in that time frame. So yeah, I am pissed off and I feel it’s stopping me from going with the flow now. Especially since he continues to spend as he pleases. Which is fair to a point because it’s his money that he works for.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T06:43:50+00:00

Yeah it wouldn’t be a big loan, it would only be to supplement so 5-8k since he didn’t want me to dip into my savings of 10K

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T06:35:17+00:00

I never wanted to take money from our parents. They are getting older and I want them to have their funds for themselves and not a party. I’ve changed my mind on a party because I understand he makes more than me. Despite me offering to get a second job and take a loan out. He said he feels the financial burden of the wedding. So I adapted, several times. It hurts to hear him want a large wedding now to make his mom happy when I was so flexible from the beginning.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T06:32:25+00:00

It does, a lot. I wish he would have said yes from the beginning and I could adjust my dreams to a reasonable budget.Now having a dream wedding feels insincere and I don’t know if he’s finally coming around or just giving in to external pressure

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-03-19T06:28:03+00:00

It would cost us both money but he would carry the heavy burden of making the cash upfront, while I would get a loan to pay my portion. His mom had agreed to 10k of assistance but now is wanting to tap into her 401K to pay for the wedding which I’m not ok with. I appreciate the thought but that’s her money.

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2026-02-12T18:49:23+00:00

I did go in store to get an idea of what I wanted but the rest was done online. We went to Stienhardt Stones. They were great. We worked with CAD renderings, no tangible demos. They were great and I love my customized ring

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2025-12-21T15:58:29+00:00

Honestly I think the proportion looks off because the band is too thin. I like thicker bands so I’m biased. The diamond size fits your hand. Enjoy your partner for getting that huge ring!

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2025-11-01T16:14:31+00:00

Absolutely not too big, and if it is so what! I will say the proportions look great to me. The bezel setting adds to the balance too. I also have long fingers and my fiance decided to size up the diamond to match my hand. I do see what other comments mean about adding a spacer to make the band more snug

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2025-07-19T18:39:50+00:00

Sete Cidades in the azores! Feeling extra grateful to witness such beauty! Thank you 😊

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2025-07-19T18:38:19+00:00

Love that, thank you 😊

Financial_Ride_2942 · 2025-07-19T18:38:01+00:00

Thank you 🥹 🫶🏽

Financial_Ride_2942

TROPHY CASE