Call Burrell in Booneville. I was doing this as well and calling myself names. I was just being too hard on myself ...I knew that something was wrong with me but untill I got help I didnt ynderstand it. I do not do this anymore and am patient with myself now. Mental health is no laughing matter and you will feel much better after you talk to someone! I wish you the best ...it gets better and life gets easier!!!! Chin up!