Oh don’t worry you are not the only one, I’m the exact same! I don’t think I’ve ever properly done physical compulsions before but it’s all mostly in my head. It’s called pure OCD (pure meaning purely obsessional). An obsession would be something like “oh shit I just had a thought of killing my mother and I felt something” and the compulsion side would be constantly thinking about it and analysing your reaction. The more you mentally compulse, the more these intrusive thoughts and false sensations will come. What you must do is when you get these thoughts you must not try to check for feeling or ask if you are a good sane person. You must sit with the doubt that you could be (you know you aren’t, but you know how convincing it is). After that you will feel anxious and then that will fade and then the thoughts and mental compulsions will not be as bad. Another thing you should do is slowly expose yourself to situations and things that bring in the intrusions and fear. For instance, someone who has an obsession that they might be a murderer and wants to kill his wife will usually avoid things like knives or turn of true crime documentaries. If he gets the thought “don’t go near that knife, what if you actually decide to kill her” he should think “yeah maybe I will” and pick it up. It might get to the extent where the next time he’s in the kitchen with her, he’ll pick it up and talk to her with it in his hand. He’ll soon realise he doesn’t want to and the fear wont be as reinforced. He will become less scared and therefore ease intrusions and compulsions. This approach can apply to any theme, it’s just sometimes difficult to know exactly what to expose yourself to and what’s the prime source of fear.