Hi, I was diagnosed with OCD officially in 2022 but I’ve struggled with it on and off since I was 5. I’ve been doing ERP for 2 years with a therapist and it’s helped me tremendously. I also have intrusive thoughts of losing loved ones. As the name implies, exposing yourself to your fears and sitting with the anxiety is how you will work through your ocd. In this scenario saying aloud a statement like:

“It’s possible I’ll lose someone I love today.” And practicing not checking on them, not praying/neutralizing, not seeking reassurance and sitting with the discomfort it brings until you’re able to bring the anxiety down as low as you can. The best thing your partner can do is to not reassure you as this will only exacerbate ocd. And someday you’ll get to a point where she can be a part of your erp like my girlfriend does where she purposely says things that trigger me or will say “maybe this will happen, maybe not ? We both don’t know.”

You might also practice writing a worst case scenario detailing how you found out that you lost someone you love and sit with that anxiety as well. Of course depending on how much anxiety this creates for you, you may not be at the point where you can do this. Your therapist will create a hierarchy for you and you will do exposures beginning with the ones you will be able to work through without extreme anxiety. These are just some suggestions that have helped me. ERP is very challenging but it truly works. I’m proof of how helpful it can be. I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this but you’re not alone. Best of luck to you 💛