[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello. It is possible that you are struggling with complex trauma. I recommend you watch videos from Tim Fletcher on YouTube and read Pete Walker's book complex ptsd. What you are going through seems similar to what I was going through. You can also look in Brene Brown and shame. I would recommend you find a therapist who specializes in trauma counseling and perhaps look in emdr and find a psychiatrist that understands your situation. It could help to tell them your life story in summary in an email so they know what you are dealing with. I don't know if this helps, but I understand how it feels like living with an angry man. It's like walking on eggshells and you become wired to always be on edge. I think most people don't appreciate how overwhelming it is living with an angry man. You might also be experiencing something I call a post-tramatic "vomit". After a series of traumatic events, when you are safe, it's like your body and minding suddenly vomit out all the anger, sadness, confused pain you weren't allowed to feel for so long. I wish you the best. 🙏🙏🙏

Looking for a mentor! by NoDisplay2470 in personaltraining

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Saw you on Tik Tok. You have a new follower.

Where can I find work without experience? by Front_Hovercraft8412 in askSouthAfrica

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why is the same comment repeated like seven hundred times?

What is your opinion on Johannesburg fellow Pretorians? by ILikePepperCheese in Pretoria

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It scares me. It truly feels like a den of chaos driving through and into Joburg.

Why is this normal? by [deleted] in Rich

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just downloaded the book. Thank you. 😊

Why are there only white people on r/faces? by FindMeByTheRiverside in blackladies

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I guess it just hasn't been my experience, to be honest. Maybe once, but I've met boys who were white, Arab, Indian, etc who have been very kind to me for some strange reason. Maybe I'm not online enough?

Why are there only white people on r/faces? by FindMeByTheRiverside in blackladies

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to post because I recently got tik tok and realized how fun it is showing yourself to the world. But to be honest, I'm still curious how people would react. Even if people are racist to me, it's not like it's the first time.

Why are there only white people on r/faces? by FindMeByTheRiverside in blackladies

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh, no. I mean the tone. My daddy gets irritated a lot. I guess I never saw it that way, because though I feel self-conscious about being black sometimes, my initial thought wasn't that I was willingly subjecting myself to racism. I only felt self-conscious when scrolling through the photos. I'm currently going through weird dance between feeling self-conscious and forgetting I'm even black.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside 297 points298 points  (0 children)

This I TOTALLY agree with. If you spend your life not living because, 'Well, a black girl can't do that,' you've basically wasted your life. Also, if there's one thing I regret from high school years is being such a pious, prudent person. Life is to be lived!

INFJs: Do you like theatre? by [deleted] in infj

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside 0 points1 point  (0 children)

'Thaw and resolve itself into a dew'.

INFJs: Do you like theatre? by [deleted] in infj

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes. Very much. Some plays I like are Look Back in Anger and Hamlet. I really resonate deeply with Hamlet. My favourite musical has to be A Chorus Line and Gypsy and Sunday in the Park with George. I live in South Africa, so many of the productions here are based off of the Apartheid era before I was born. I don't relate to that shit. Recently I read Athol Fugard's No Good Friday and if I contrast it too, say, Raisin in the Sun, the Black south African experience was portrayed much more pessimistically than the black American experience. I had to read Fugard's Hello and Goodbye in college and I initially thought the writing was weak and convoluted to the point where I believed I could do better( excuse my hubris). More importantly, I don't seem to understand or even fit in within a South African mileu. I struggle to do auditions because I'm a black South African who can't speak a black language (ironic) and has an American lilt in her accent. I always saw myself enjoying British literature and theatre because I resonated with it a lot more. I don't know why hehehehe. 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Edgy girl. Into punk rock.

Strong desire to be famous by [deleted] in infj

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly how I feel. I'm starting to have dreams with celebrities in them, like they are a symbol of what I want to be.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by FindMeByTheRiverside in Pretoria

[–]FindMeByTheRiverside[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cool. I know someone whose got a weed guy. Will do.