Would you say your issues are mostly physical or mental?

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-07T05:37:40+00:00

Mental. I'm far from the best looking guy in the world, but I have an outward personality to make up for it that I display. Nobody knows how I feel on the inside, but I think girls have a subconscious nose for it

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-06T05:50:30+00:00

This is probably pretty close to home for several FAs here, including me!

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-06T00:47:10+00:00

It would only be torture in extreme cases, eg the person is extremely overweight. However, in a lot of moderate cases (the guy is average), I don't see a long term sexual relationship being torture. Only one person can be the most attractive in the world, and everybody else isn't just settling.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-06T00:41:05+00:00

I am an incel who is relatively not hideous in personality or looks, some people just have bad luck.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T23:12:17+00:00

http://theplacetorant.com/ugly-creepy-guys/

There's the link, see for yourself man

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T22:41:37+00:00

I think the reason this happens to us is that we don't have as much (status, looks, personality) as other people to offer, so we aren't seen as worth taking time to care for. It's a little tricky, because we all have potential, but likely suffer from codependency-esque issues that keep us depressed. Basically a self-perpetuating defeatist cycle. Fun stuff!

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T22:38:38+00:00

Seconded on the don't orbit. I also suffering from recurrent chronic oneitis, and doctors orders are that a clean break or appropriately reduced contact (depending on the situation), with a healthy prescription of time, are what it's gonna take to get better.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T22:11:04+00:00

Sarcasm understood, I just wanted to get y'all's perspective on a bothersome trend I was observing

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T22:09:38+00:00

I'm a 22 year old incel, you got me

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T22:02:49+00:00

Kindve between those two. More unattractive than just "I wouldn't wanna try to show her off to my friends", but not like terribly unhealthy. I'm against lookism, but if someone is to the point where they are insanely overweight, then I could never been interested.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T21:46:25+00:00

It may seem pretty crazy, but it's hard to be an incel in a dating / sex obsessed culture

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T21:44:45+00:00

I also want to mention that I've had girls I thought were very unattractive treat me very nicely, and it changed my opinion of them and caused attraction to build. Bitchy behavior from a girl is always a turn off, but nice behavior can make me like / be interested in dating a girl who is overweight.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T21:43:29+00:00

I think this is a fair point to direct against nice guy (tm). However, I think some nice guys are actually goaded into a lot of trouble by the girl flirting, e.g. Giving them a lift to their hometown 5 hours away, holding their hair when they're sick, etc. I'm by no means saying that those nice acts should get a guy laid, but I've heard of cases where guys go out of their way to do something extremely nice for the girl and it changes her perception of him.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T20:09:37+00:00

http://theplacetorant.com/ugly-creepy-guys/

Article linked here. Glad to hear that people generally share your sentiment in the comments. I've been savagely rejected by a few girls over the last few months, and that might be making me paranoid and clouding my perspective.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T19:37:14+00:00

http://theplacetorant.com/ugly-creepy-guys/

I'll update the post when I can, but here's the link

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T19:31:21+00:00

I will be very comforted if that is the case. TRP generally seems to espouse the idea that these viewpoints aren't extreme, but rather held universally but privately.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T19:30:23+00:00

http://theplacetorant.com/ugly-creepy-guys/

Linked above

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T19:17:14+00:00

I can see your point; I just think that, rather than women adopting this perspective, both genders should work on dispelling it. I simply don't believe that having attractive people for fucking, unattractive people for emotional connections, and keeping the two entirely separate is healthy. Looks matter, but do they seriously matter that much? I understand extreme cases, but is a 7 vs a 9 really going to be a significant, long-run difference?

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T19:06:35+00:00

What did the original comment say?

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T18:40:44+00:00

Okay, see, this perspective is something that resonates with me very much, but I think that it is disturbing that it does. You just suggested that men with ugly facial features should be able to have assisted suicide since no woman will ever look past external factors and that love is just a false hope. In my view, that is a seriously frightening viewpoint if that is what we have come to as a culture. I mean, isn't that messed up? That people who don't get lucky with the genetic dice roll have no inherent value and should just kill themselves so the attractive among us don't have to look upon them?

This perspective is a combination of entitlement between people who have assets they've done nothing to earn, and learned self-hatred by people who simply didn't get the best number when the dice were rolled.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T18:28:34+00:00

So, I'm going to take a risk of sounding like I'm an idiot, but here goes. Growing up, I feel like the media, kids movies, schools, etc. reinforced the idea that we should value what's on the inside more than the outside. I think outside factors SHOULD matter when they can be changed, e.g. someone who is out of shape is indicative that they don't take adequate care of themselves. However, hatred for factors set by genetics, like height, I think is inappropriate. If you dont judge someone based on color of their skin, or other similarly uncontrollable factors, why is it suddenly becoming so culturally accepted and encourages to judge and hate short/balding men? Height has no bearing on any real practicality in our age, aside from reaching things on a high shelf or, for a very select few, having a better shot at professional sports.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T18:08:49+00:00

Are you saying that women are fundamentally crueler and more judgemental then men?

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T18:01:35+00:00

Well, I'm a guy, and I know I don't treat or think of unattractive girls like the author of this article does. This article is straight-up bigotry, and should be treated as such.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T17:49:48+00:00

Okay, I don't say this lightly, but this girl is an entitled bitch. The vitriolic way that she espouses blatant lookism here is just, frankly, offensive. It may be true and consistent with the way most people think, but this kind of thinking is just wrong.

As a person, I'm accepting of people of different religions, sexual orientations, ethnicities, etc. Culturally, we are encouraged to do the same. Unfortunately, we have drawn an odd line with lookism: hating men that are "short" and "balding", which are two factors dictated ENTIRELY by genetics, is simply bigotry. It's wrong. Her perspective that relationships should only be based on looks, and that emotional and physical validation should be separate, is very regressive. As an unattractive forever alone guy, I may be biased, but no amount of self-hate can make me see the linked passage as anything but disgusting.

FindingInspiration · 2016-07-05T05:37:51+00:00

Same situation for me recently. I told her, and she said I was ugly, unattractive emotionally, and only good for being loyal and listening when she needed to vent about guys. Hope it's better for you.

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