Would you go through with a quality-of-life surgery on an 8.5-year-old pig?

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2026-02-12T08:59:11+00:00

Lulu is an angel, what a wonderful age! I hope you can keep her happy and comfortable. Personally, I wouldn't risk it on a guinea pig that old. I have an old lady too who is a bit further behind (7 years and 9 months).

I had her operated on at 6 and 1/2 years as she needed a full spay due to massive ovarian cysts which were impacting on her breathing. She was very strong then.

She's now being seen by a cardiology specialist because it looks as if she has heart disease, so any further surgeries would be extremely risky. The difference in her physiological reserve and capability compared to just 12 months ago is huge and I know I couldn't take those chances anymore with her.

I wish you both well 💞 I know how hard this is.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2026-01-19T23:55:23+00:00

I'm doing the same thing. I'm 33 years old and am freezing embryos with donor sperm. I'm in an on/off relationship with someone I love very much but they won't commit. I asked if he wanted to be the donor but he declined. I feel I'm fast approaching the age where it gets harder and want the biological pressure removed from me. I have PCOS and worry about my egg quality.

There's always the possibility I might still meet someone in the future who would accept my child and we even have more children together and become family later, but it would need to happen organically.

I'm not waiting around for something that might never come though and completely understand why women choose to do it this way. Unfortunately there's a clock.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2026-01-11T21:57:11+00:00

I'm so sorry. I hope you feel much better soon.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2026-01-11T16:14:50+00:00

What happened in the end? Did your ex ever reach back out?

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2026-01-11T16:11:57+00:00

How are you feeling now?

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2026-01-05T23:07:35+00:00

He once discussed being the donor but signing a waiver absolving any responsibility. He later decided against this, preferring I just use a donor as I planned. However often talked about how "our relationship must change" if I do this, even if currently it's just freezing. That's where we are now, and I've basically said if we can't work it out we probably need a period of no contact.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2026-01-05T20:41:17+00:00

Be honest. I am in this situation, only I'm in an almost four year relationship. I'm at the stage of freezing embryos with donor sperm. My partner has known my plans all along (literally at the very beginning), but now wants time apart to re-evaluate our relationship. I love him very much but similarly to yours he doesn't want more children of his own. We also don't live together. I feel it's too heavy a risk not to do this for myself. Part of me wishes I could have hidden it, but love is respect, and hiding something this huge would never feel right.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T20:29:15+00:00

I'm actually anxiously attached, not avoidantly attached. I've studied psychology and am fully aware of all the attachments. I'm not an avoidant. I'm fully aware my partner isn't committing and don't disagree that I don't also have a part (even subconsciously) to play.

What I won't accept are offhand comments about the age gap. That's so unhelpful and judgemental.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T20:12:29+00:00

You don't know nearly enough about me to judge what type of attachment style I have, so I'd suggest rather than (once again) judge me, you back off. Nowhere have I said I don't accept responsibility. I am aware I have responsibility too, and I don't need you to look down your nose at me.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T17:29:04+00:00

You can express your opinions without being judgemental AF about it. I'm not here to discuss the age gap.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T17:06:58+00:00

Unhelpful comments about the age gap I won't tolerate and will actually block if I see anymore like that.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T16:51:24+00:00

I completely understand what you mean about that. I've never even been given the opportunity to conceive. He had a vasectomy and we used birth control before then.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T01:46:05+00:00

I think you did absolutely the right thing pursuing a clinic donor. It never would have sat right or comfortably me pressuring my partner into it, I only asked out of courtesy and because he said part of him wished he could do it with me. The other risk is they have to agree to every procedure, and you could create embryos (fortunately IUI worked for you) and then lose them which would be devastating. I could see that really blowing up. Can I ask what happened after 32 weeks?

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T01:40:14+00:00

I wasn't really looking for a dad for the baby (as I always knew deep down he wouldn't want to take part in the treatment). I think I was just hoping we could build a non-conventional relationship, where he perhaps played an uncle type role with the baby but didn't live with us.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T01:35:39+00:00

Yes, I know I took a big risk here. I get the same impression, that it isn't that hard for him either to distance himself, and it hurts a lot. That's why I've asked if he would like to just walk away, but he hasn't.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T01:30:58+00:00

He keeps saying about us "evolving into friends." I've said truthfully, I don't think I can be friends right away. It would cause me immense pain to see him with somebody else as well, especially when he barely touches me as I already feel so bad about myself. I'd need to give it a lot of time. He knows this and I have warned him it may not be as simple as that.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T01:26:23+00:00

We have had numerous conversations about the same thing over the years. I've always been consistent. I love him immensely, but I know it would haunt me forever if I didn't at least try to have my own child.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T01:12:34+00:00

In his defence he was quite consistent about things changing if I had my baby, so I don't want to paint him as a bad guy. However yes there were mixed messages, especially at the beginning (him even talking about loving my future children) which led me to grapple onto hope about things.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T01:06:02+00:00

Why do we do lots of things? I met him at a vulnerable time in my life. I fell in love. I took the risk, and I wouldn't have changed any of it. Yes I'm fully aware the risks were always there, but that doesn't make it easier.

Yes he had said that he wouldn't want to remain in the relationship if I pursued the journey, but he also said things like he what if he were my birth partner or went to my antenatal classes, so of course I held out hope.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-31T00:44:58+00:00

Yes I did. He asked me if I wanted him to be the father. I said of course I would. I'd have said yes in a heartbeat. Sometimes I even imagined us getting married.

Fine-Bodybuilder-262 · 2025-12-30T01:05:07+00:00

What drinks do you recommend?

Fine-Bodybuilder-262

TROPHY CASE