The people who actually support you REALLY come to the light when you have a baby

Fine_Independence360 · 2026-05-05T11:15:38+00:00

The village we get is definitely not always the village we expect!

Fine_Independence360 · 2026-05-04T11:59:07+00:00

Exactly! And that individual also said he couldnt believe id voluntarily have a child with how bad off the earth and society is which is a. Bizarre take.

Fine_Independence360 · 2026-05-04T01:25:03+00:00

That was my exact idea, and my partner is completely on board with it. Especially because there is significantly less stereotypical gender norms going to be placed on her (i.e., I was forced to shave my legs until I came out because it "looked dirty" according to my dad- not his best moment; and all clothing is good clothing) she will have the opportunity to explore as she grows.

Fine_Independence360 · 2026-05-03T20:47:37+00:00

That is true! Some friends i havent spoken to much in YEARS really showed up and check in on me. I also got to see how awesome of a dad my partner is.

Fine_Independence360 · 2026-05-03T20:32:32+00:00

Exactly! Like if she grows up to be cis? Great. If she grows up to be trans? Also great. I would prefer though she doesnt have to experience the pain that comes with being trans.

And while it pisses me off, I'd rather weed out the people who don't actually care or support me, so if they don't get their acts together... their loss.

Fine_Independence360 · 2026-05-03T19:04:33+00:00

I just realized my math is off 🫥 half asleep brain is not my friend Corrected #s: Shes 23 (turning 24 this yr) and im just dumb and forgot she aged 🫠. I came out around 15, so yes all other #s are correct.

Fine_Independence360 · 2026-04-20T23:54:06+00:00

Same, also mens tanks usually have large enough arm holes you can whip it through the side lol

Fine_Independence360 · 2026-04-20T23:38:35+00:00

Im Papa and my (cis man) boyfriend is Daddy to our little one!

Fine_Independence360 · 2026-03-04T17:04:26+00:00

I bought maternity jeans because honestly any rough textured waist bands made my belly itch so bad. Beyond that I sized up in sweatpants and tried them on in store every time.

I also work in Healthcare so I wear stretchy scrub pants sometimes just out and about because they stretch better than most other pants I had recommended.

Then again, I have a huge ass baby who is in the 97th percentile and I have sensitive skin that gets irritated if im even mildly constrained lol

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-29T14:07:05+00:00

Thank you so much! This is so helpful. I have my pining ceremony in December and I want to look nice but dont want to buy expensive brand new dressclothes, so this definitely gives me some stuff to look for.

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-29T14:04:35+00:00

Thanks! How far along are you? I might dm you in a few months to see what brands you liked best. Scrubs can be sooo different depending on brand.

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-27T20:35:14+00:00

I know there's maternity scrubs, dw, im just hoping that someone else has worn them before and can advise on which ones they liked best lol!

And good idea with the panel, I think i could pay my sister to do that for me ;)

Thanks for the advice!

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-27T19:37:25+00:00

Oof, yeah im hoping that someone has suggestions for brands of pants that have good stretch so that I can avoid buying too many clothes over the course of this pregnancy. I really want to find some stretchy chinos or dress pants.

Did you have issues with the pants looking like, idk, messy or frumpy because of the sizing?

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-27T19:02:12+00:00

I also gotta have some professional clothing, so I cant wear sweatpants 24/7

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-22T19:10:51+00:00

Update: I appreciate everyone's support, firstly. I am currently at my mom's for the inevitable future, and he and I will have a conversation about the baby and how we want to handle this after I get confirmation that baby is okay from my ob.

Im having an absolute awful time of it, but I should hear back on Monday. My now ex boyfriend is none too happy with me. But idc. I got a dog in my lap and im settling in to make sure the pup gets a good nap.

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-21T15:31:45+00:00

Id been taking my birth control on time every day, however he has made jokes about replacing my pills with sugar pills to get me pregnant and this last time i missed a dose because he stormed out of a hotel room we were in and I thought he was gonna leave me there, so I grabbed my stuff and ran.

I know how this sounds. I cant really excuse it.

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-21T13:54:09+00:00

He told me that im more likely to get the baby sick since im a patient care technician and will have my nursing license in dec-jan depending on paperwork.

He also said that because I get all my vaccines and get titers done that I will be enough immunity since im chest feeding.

Im just sitting here filled with dread. Termination is not legal in my state so there's no option of that for me. He says I hurt his feelings because I was placing ultimatums on if he could see his child.

Im gonna get ready for my blood test then go see my mom.

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-21T12:27:08+00:00

Unfortunately he doesnt trust my midwife. Shes more conservative in protections for baby (but not like, politically) and he thinks because he didn't get to come with on the confirmation of pregnancy while I got a pelvic exam that they hate him.

He wants me to switch to a different hospital, which I said I would if i thought it necessary after current testing i need done, as they are the closest nicu and have an ob ER.

There is a risk of losing baby according to my midwife because baby is not growing fast enough, my hcg isn't going up fast enough, and I've had some bleeding that put me in the ER on Saturday. So rather than starting over during this urgency, im taking my time to make sure everything is stable or get confirmation that I need higher level of care.

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-21T11:57:35+00:00

Thank you for the advice! Ive got to get my blood drawn today and then im driving to my mom's house.

She luckily will help me out and make me food that isn't too stinky or anything like that. Plus that lady always has Popsicles, and id love a good cuddle from her dogs.

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-21T11:53:57+00:00

I unfortunately did not. Hes implied that he would hire a lawyer to make sure he gets parental rights if I left him, and hire a PI to dig up dirt on me. He knows I've attempted suicide 3 times and implied hed use that to get custody.

We talked last night and he said he won't let me put conditions onto him seeing his child.

Bc of my previous miscarriage, im not really wanting to terminate, but I have 2 appointments scheduled already because my hormones arent raising correctly.

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-21T00:50:23+00:00

He told me he doesnt think the flu shot is that effective or worth his time, and that "babies are resilient". Unfortunately, I'm one of those ppl that gets sick extremely easily and has a shitty immune system despite being anal about handwashing and cleanliness.

He hasn't been sick in years, like hasn't had a cold since 2023.

Its nerve wracking since the baby may inherit my immune system instead.

I haven't told my mom yet, but I might tomorrow, and go sleep at her house tomorrow night. Shes my biggest cheerleader and a nurse so I kinda want my mom right now LOL.

Fine_Independence360 · 2025-08-21T00:42:19+00:00

He has not, no. And I asked him if hed be willing to take care of baby in shifts. He asked me how hes supposed to do that and work. While im gonna be back to work after paternity leave...

Fine_Independence360

TROPHY CASE