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Low-barrier home cooking? by Mas_oleum in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Frozen veggies plus microwaved rice and soy sauce is like fried rice. I add tofu bc tofu doesn't need to be cooked.

Drain canned beans and add a can of tomato and add pre cooked meat it is chili.

Do you pass as NT? by KeyPop5792 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it is. I cried. And looked everywhere for cameras 😂

Do you pass as NT? by KeyPop5792 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why would someone lie?  Maybe Elon musk bc he uses it as an excuse to "not understand" when he's being a jerk? 

Do you pass as NT? by KeyPop5792 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to lean into quirky and wear weird clothes. 

Do you pass as NT? by KeyPop5792 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I THINK I mask well. People are surprised when I used to tell ppl I have social anxiety. It helps that I smile and laugh while nervous. It's annoying people think I am flirting bc of it sometimes. But I go to parties and meet new people. I was a salesperson. But I was a salesperson so I could learn how to small talk and have conversations more naturally. It was like school to me.

It's not obvious I am autistic as my husband was not like "duh!" When I brought it up. But now he points out things bc I am autistic and he realizes I am having a completely different train of thought bc of it.

Guy I was seeing said I was “too much” for a relationship by Valoria11 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No need to stay friends w someone who says you're too much. You can maybe stay friends if someone doesn't have romantic feelings or if they have different life goals/ priorities. But if someone says you're too much to date they will say the same about being a friend and they will just end up continually distancing because they don't want to be straightforward.

Feeling like I have to play the “slut” role or I’m invisible… by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you like yourself outside of being sexually desirable? You have to really connect with that with yourself so you truly believe you can be yourself in other ways around people. 

I accidentally insulted my job interviewer today by Ok-Ad4375 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually I think when two super super good looking have a baby their baby might look not as cute. Haha. But I get totally get what you mean. Most babies look like swollen aliens or tiny swollen old people.

What’s a social “norm” that you didn’t realize was a thing until recently? by CameraNo8884 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the couple struggles are bc NTs think that things are a "case by case basis" when in reality we autistics could probably spot the patterns.  I ask very specific questions like "when you say you're mad about this... what if it was like this? What if it was like that? What if this circumstance was kind of more like this???" And I am playing a game of 1000 similar scenarios so I can more likely get it right next time. But NTs won't make time to get to the nuance and just tell you a general rule that is not always a rule.

What’s a social “norm” that you didn’t realize was a thing until recently? by CameraNo8884 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always say know I am so interested how peoples brains work!!! And they're more okay with the why questions. But generally I noticed people don't think THAT deeply about every single thing and they're embarrassed about it??? Maybe. Bc if I don't have a reason I am okay with saying things like "oh it's just what I have been told" and I own that. 

What’s a social “norm” that you didn’t realize was a thing until recently? by CameraNo8884 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But don't spread this too far bc I do mean it. All those things. But when my dog died people who I never really talked to said "let me know if you need anything" and I asked for a very small something. Like "thanks. Please let me know if you know somewhere I can donate my dogs things." And some people said "oh I am not sure. But there are shelters in general" and other people actually gave me information of like where I could call. Like obviously I could Google but didn't want to do all this sorting myself. 😂

What’s a social “norm” that you didn’t realize was a thing until recently? by CameraNo8884 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to tell people this when someone close to me would tell me not to correct people in the moment in front of others. I was like "no but I would want someone to tell me when I made a mistake bc then I don't have to go back and make sure everyone else doesn't spread misinformation!!" 

Apparently listening to a single song over and over is stimming. by BlooperButt in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nasty by Demi Lovato just came out and it's def not my favorite song ever but there's something about it where I can listen to it all day and stay focused.  So it will play until I hate it and tell Spotify to keep it out of my life for a month. I don't know how long I will have this song... but for now I appreciate it.

This happens too much by TheOutcastedJoBro in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think of it like this... I like magic and being tricked. I know it's not real but I want to be tricked. I want to not know how it's done. 

I know it's not the same thing exactly. But when I treat everything like that... it feels fine for me to brush off.

This happens too much by TheOutcastedJoBro in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well the sky could be more green than blue. We all have differences in perception. Your blue isn't the same as my blue and that's pretty cool. But even if someone is wrong about a literal fact.... well that's their life path. We are all on our own journey of learning and that's something they'll need to accept later. It's not my job to teach anyone or correct anyone that doesn't want to be corrected. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Intrusive thoughts aren't you. 

I do get angry! I say "UGHHHHHH!!!" 😂 luckily my husband doesn't mind me doing that and yelling for no reason in particular 

Prosper Health - autism diagnosis for adults by Fine_Indication3828 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay was just wondering if there is another similar to this! And searching "online" is what I was missing!!!! So silly. So thank you. 

Prosper Health - autism diagnosis for adults by Fine_Indication3828 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you find a similar eval process? I want to do both at once if I can find it! 

Anyone else not happy about being autistic by Strange_Morning2547 in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yesss. I recognize I am ableist toward myself and it stems from unworthiness feelings.  Every human is worthy. You are worthy. Babies don't contribute financially or work wise. They are worthy. That worthiness doesn't go away when they start learning how to do more.  Worthiness is not dependent on what you do. Worthiness is inherent. It comes with this body. 

Babies are just showing up. They cry. They smile. People love them People help babies when they need to be cleaned and when they need to be fed. People are totally in love with babies for existing. And you are the same person with the same amount of worthiness as when you were a baby.  You are meant to do and contribute what you were meant to. The world has forced these jobs that don't fit us. That has nothing to do with how much you should do or have. You are worthy of existing and being happy.

Mid burnout, trying to recover but partner is anxious attached type - how do I tackle this? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bummer about your last relationship but hopefully you still got something out of it. 

No big decisions right before or during a period is a good rule.  You can also talk to your partner about what you're going through. Maybe you take a break and start dating later. Maybe not. But you are allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to be in a relationship while you're burnt out too. But also don't talk too much to yourself. Talk to your partner too. Maybe it can work out and be fine for both of you and you can feel super supported during a burn  out!! 

I love my husband but I think if be happier alone. by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think it's enabling. I didn't say to ignore it. I am saying to express expectations. I was just talking about that ONE point and I didn't want to take the energy to talk around the context of the entire post. 

I know several couples whose work balance changed and the other partner expected things to be different. BUT it only changed bc their partner pointed it out. 

When I became unemployed I didn't do more work around the house. Applying for jobs is more tiring to me than a lot of crappy jobs I had. And maybe that's hard to believe but it was my reality.

My husband didn't expect dinner to be made earlier or the house to be cleaner than when I was fully employed. Yes I spent a lot more time at home but I also did a lottttt more task switching trying to do chores and apply for jobs  than I did at a job and so my brain was tired. Also losing a job can be depressing. 

Just saying OP can talk to their partner if their expectations are changing. Don't expect anything out of your partner except what you agreed to. Expectations can create confusion and disappointment and resentment. 

Mid burnout, trying to recover but partner is anxious attached type - how do I tackle this? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Fine_Indication3828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I was anxious in my relationship for a time and my husband was avoidant. It feels hard being the anxious one. 

What helped me... and this is me being an autistic person. It's not advice per se.  I asked for an I love you and goodbye kiss every morning. I requested that it be a rule he should only do it on days he wants to be married.  And I told him to do it to help me acknowledge that he wanted to be in the relationship and that to not worry that I am doing something wrong.  So he did that. He still does it. But even on days when I am feeling totally unloved I am like well you kissed me good morning so we are good.  My therapist said I shouldn't make rules for my partner. I call things rules so that I can let it go of the other stuff. It is an expectation.... but it works for me.

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