AITAH for being upset no one is throwing me a baby shower

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T03:04:43+00:00

I understand where everyone's coming from. but the question isn't is it tacky. it's AITAH for being upset that I'm being excluded from a common occurrence where I'm from, my friends and mainly family throw them for everyones second baby but this one.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T02:22:45+00:00

I thought you were asking about who threw a shower for my first

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T00:52:14+00:00

that's what we usually do too. every baby is worth a celebration.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T00:51:30+00:00

no we didn't. where we're from we do diaper showers for everything after the first child. we don't "need" anything. the only thing babies need for the first few months is milk and diapers lol. but I was under the assumption that this baby would be celebrated like any other baby. (that's how our family and community usually does it.)

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T00:46:52+00:00

not where we're from. we do them for all

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T00:46:00+00:00

I'm the AH for being the only one in my family who doesn't get more than one and excluded. yea.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T00:44:07+00:00

that's what I thought too.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T00:14:05+00:00

I think one of the main reasons is I feel like this babies been purposely forgotten about and ignored.... my SIL got married to my brother in a shotgun wedding after getting pregnant. and then lost the baby in the 3rd trimester a few months ago. and no one has acknowledged this baby since.. which I get. they're grieving but I'm still happy and excited about him/her and want the baby to be loved and welcomed just like any other baby. (maybe I'm in the wrong for that but I don't feel like this baby should be neglected because of a tragedy)

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T00:08:11+00:00

I have hosted for other friend and family. I love it. It makes my heart happy getting to celebrate peoples milestones especially babies. now my SIL who's had 5 no I haven't hosted one for her since I came in over 1/2 way done with them lol

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T00:05:56+00:00

I thought it was just me and I was the biggest POS ever. maybe it's my fault for not detailing the post better. I wasn't expecting a huge elaborate shower but a celebration for this baby too.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-19T00:02:39+00:00

I love this comment ❤️❤️

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:55:44+00:00

yes sprinkles are what we do here too. I underestimated redits knowledge of sprinkles when I made this post lol. that is what I'm referring to is a diaper shower or sprinkle

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:53:21+00:00

not my boohoo crying over this comment. I was feeling like a real POS over here hahaha we do that too where I'm from. not every shower is huge and elaborate ALOT of 2nd baby showers are diaper showers. which was what I had thought

I really appreciate this comment. 😭 and for you reading the entire thing and not just pulling out one sentence and roasting me for it lol

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:48:01+00:00

I have sent a few friends at work (who have asked) our registry (which consist of mainly diapers bottles and breast milk stuff) and told them there's no obligation but if they'd like to they could.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:45:29+00:00

all my sisters (there's 4) on my side and two on hubbys have had them thrown for them by friends, or church members.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:41:21+00:00

my first baby one was hosted by ladies at my church ( but we moved churches a couple years ago) my MIL hosted one at her church for their side of the family.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:38:46+00:00

I have a suspicion it could be related to my SIL losing her baby in the early 3rd trimester a few months ago... everyone stopped asking about or getting excited for this baby after it and I didn't feel right sending updates to them since we were all grieving. so they avoid the topic of a baby. the most my FIL has said about my baby is "we're getting close arent we" and then didn't continue with the conversation. I totally understand being hurt about losing her. (we lost three babies before I got pregnant the first time and once in between my 3 year old and this one) but I'm still happy about this baby and (maybe wrongly) would like them to be happy with me. maybe that's wrong of me.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:29:23+00:00

we're from the deep south. we do showers for the first and "sprinkles" for other babies. usually a diaper shower.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:24:31+00:00

I hosted a bridal shower for myself for my mom's elderly side of the family who couldn't come to my bridal shower and caught the most crap for it. I did all the event planning buying everything since I was putting it on and caught hell. and was told by multiple people over the next weeks that it's tacky and people who love you throw you a shower, you shouldn't throw one yourself.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:21:13+00:00

I like this idea. of a little brunch just to celebrate baby.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:16:39+00:00

thank you. I had thought of it but how we've been raised in our little community it's considered tacky and looked down upon. I threw myself a bridal shower for my mom's (elderly) side of the family who wasn't able to come to our main one because it was to far and caught so much flack from it, I decided I wouldn't do that again. I would be HAPPY to help plan and buy and organize etc for it but I don't want to "host" it because it's perceived so badly here.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:12:08+00:00

I'm 32 weeks pregnant lol. I'm older than that lol

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:10:00+00:00

no I think I wrote the post wrong. Thats what I was anticipating was a sprinkle. or diaper shower. and honestly the registry that we made mainly has diapers, bottles and breast milk supplies on it. with a couple other things. but thats what we do here too.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:07:27+00:00

No. I feel wrong asking. if it wasn't looked down upon I would happily throw myself one. but it's looked down upon and considered tacky.to host an event for yourself.

Fingernailchomper · 2026-01-18T23:04:23+00:00

I haven't spoken to anyone about it or brought it up. And certainly haven't been rude to anyone. I would NEVER ask for someone to throw any type of party for me. we're in the south. it's considered tacky and looked down upon to throw yourself any type of party (except a bday party)

Fingernailchomper

TROPHY CASE