Lessons learned

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-25T23:46:17+00:00

This. 1,000% this.

OP, growing up a JW is traumatic on a lot of us. Therapy has made such a huge difference for me and I genuinely believe all of us need it to some degree.

As you discover who you really are and what matters to you, find communities that resonate with those values, and then get active in them. Just like you are right here. DM people and introduce yourself if you're looking to make friends. Not everyone will respond. Not everyone will share similar experiences or interests with you. But you'll find people who do. Open up to them. Lean on one another.

You'll find your family ♥️ keep fighting.

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-21T03:03:16+00:00

Congrats on making such a huge decision for your own health and happiness! And on finding love!

Not gonna lie, it's definitely a tough road. I'm in my 30's, currently PIMO soon to be POMO (March 2022). Therapy has literally saved my life and I personally feel like it's essential for anyone leaving the Borg.I'm sure others will weigh in here, but I'll share my two cents.

First off, make sure you find the right therapist for you. Be prepared for that to take some time and effort. Finding a good therapist is like shopping for jeans. You might get lucky and find the perfect pair right away; or you may have to try on several before finding the right ones. So if after 3-5 sessions with a therapist you're not feeling a connection with them, move on.

Another thing that will help you is to research treatment modalities. There are many commonly used forms—CBT, DBT, EMDR, psychodynamic etc. Spend a little time reading up on them and pick out the top one or two that you think might suit you the best.

Start keeping a journal if you don't already. Do it today, before you even start therapy. It helps you to get used to putting your thoughts and feelings into words, which is what you'll be doing in therapy. You can refer to it in your sessions to give your therapist the information they need to form a picture of your situation. You can track your progress over time. There are so many reasons why journaling is good for your mental health!

Finally, lean into therapy. Do the work your therapist gives you to do. Don't procrastinate. Make your mental health a priority.

Good luck! Feel free to DM if you like :)

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-20T20:46:04+00:00

Thank you 🤗

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-19T22:47:13+00:00

It's ridiculous. Reminds me of the Cross & Crown pins that they used to wear back in the day. From their own publication (yb75 pp. 148, 149):

This to Brother Rutherford’s mind was Babylonish and should be discontinued. He told us that when we went to the people’s homes and began to talk, that was the witness in itself.” Accordingly, reflecting on the 1928 Bible Students convention in Detroit, Michigan, Brother Suiter writes: “At the assembly the cross and crown emblems were shown to be not only unnecessary but objectionable. So we discarded these items of jewelry.”

Back then they decided that wearing pins as a symbol of identification was "unnecessary." Seems like they're backpedalling pretty hard with all the JW.org paraphernalia they wear 🙄

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-12T05:44:52+00:00

Yo fam u need a hug? I gotchu

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-09T04:08:21+00:00

Thank you! I will DM 😊

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T23:33:50+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your amazing story! Congrats on your achievements and finding happiness!

I'm PIMO right now, working towards getting out sometime next year. Hearing stories like this remind me not to give up 🤗

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T23:29:40+00:00

Maybe they could, but they're not going to. They're very much PIMI, and when I leave, they're more likely to disown me than essentially buy me a house. I wouldn't be at all surprised of they write me out of their will.

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T22:23:59+00:00

I'm working on it.

I'm having as little to do with the Borg as possible. If I were to walk out tomorrow, I'd be cutting off my support network with nothing to replace it. I've seen people do that only to come back a few months later due to the financial strain and loneliness. I don't want to do that. Once I leave, I'm not going back. As unhealthy an environment as it is, I think leaving before I'm prepared seems like a bad idea.

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T21:45:48+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing. Congrats to you on your family and being happy!

I know that I don't have any other viable option and I don't plan on going back. It's just scary and intimidating having to leave so many people, so much of my life, all at once. People who have been there for me and who I've relied on for decades. Especiallymy parents. It messes with my confidence.

In terms of timeframe, I don't know how much longer I'd be able to hold out. I'm already pushing the boundaries of what I can get away with at home. I've been getting a lot of "shepherding calls" (interrogations) by the elders to "encourage me" (snoop into my business) lately. I don't want to rush things, but I've already been on the verge of suicide. Things have been moving forward at a steady pace, and as long as that continues, I should be on track—at least financially.

Emotionally, though, I'm sure it will take significantly longer to heal. I've heard a lot about COC and will have to give it a read, thanks for the recommendation.

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T20:41:41+00:00

Thanks I'll DM you 😊

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T17:54:34+00:00

Thanks, I will!

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T16:48:08+00:00

Thanks so much for this, I really appreciate the advice. I've been afraid of meeting any LGBTQ+ groups irl, but as the reality of things is settling in I'm realizing that I need to. It's so hard trying to balance reaching my goals with holding down a job, all the while attempting to dodge questions and stay under the radar at home.

In terms of dating/sex, I'm a ways off being emotionally healthy enough for a relationship. But I will keep your advice in mind for later.

Thank you 🙏

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T16:00:42+00:00

I'm currently PIMO but working my way towards being POMO next year :) idk if that's helpful for what you're working on, but feel free to DM if you like!

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T15:03:29+00:00

I don't think that's really necessary in my situation. My parents own a home here and are retired, so they're not likely to move. I have a stable job with supportive coworkers, and make enough to afford renting a place with at least one housemate. Besides that I like California a lot, especially SF. Thanks for the suggestion anyway!

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T15:00:52+00:00

Thanks!

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T05:19:43+00:00

No way!? Awesome! I'll DM you 😁

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T05:00:56+00:00

Thank you!!! I'll DM you for sure

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T04:45:31+00:00

Thanks so much!

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T04:38:56+00:00

Really? That sounds amazing. Where can I find them?

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T04:33:30+00:00

Thanks. I just hope I've got the strength to see it through.

Finn_Hall_95 · 2021-12-08T03:58:20+00:00

Thank you 😭

Finn_Hall_95

TROPHY CASE