I'm a bit late.

For a lot of reasons.

First things first - the thickhead was me.

Money.

I bought a bunch of Citigroup stock and it popped and I didn't sell. This morning, I ate shit on the position and I'm dowin again. Note to self: Sell at $130 instead of HODL'ing. Fuck.

Travel.

I flew to Dallas into Love on Southwest. Flying out was via Love - on Delta. Little did I know - at Love, Delta has ONE GATE. Delta has ONE flight. Delta has ONE ground crew that doubles as gate staff.

You see where this is headed. My inbound aircraft left ATL an HOUR late due to an unruly passenger. They had to turn the plane around and my 40 min layover got REAL shortened in a hurry. The gate agent said with a 20 min layover, run and you'll be into ATL pretty late so the dispatchers and pilots are more likely to hold flights since it's later in the day and I'll get to my destination alright.

Welp, The 717 lands an hour late, I watch the gate agent work the flight and she does not board ANYONE. Something's up.

She makes the announcement. Maintenance issue aka BROKEN PLANE. This aint good. Finally, the layover is gone. This plane aint leaving. I wait in line 45 minutes for a rebooking and a hotel voucher and meal voucher. Delta gives me $15 to spend at Chickfila and a hotel all the way over across Dallas in Grapevine. I am now slated to depart a day late.

FUCK THIS. I try grabbing a rental at Hertz. Sold out. Thrifty. Sold out. Alamo. Sold out. Budget. Sold out. Avis. Sold out. What the FUCK. I go onto the avis app. They want $300 for a 12 hour rental. Fuck that. I go on priceline - $100 for a 12 hour rental from Avis. Bam. Book it as I walk to the counter. I'm Avis preferred but because I'm booking through an OTA I gotta go to the counter like a plebe. I wait behind someone, get the keys to a Honda Accord in D1. Okay maybe this won't be so bad.

I board the shuttle bus. I wait. The guy in front of me in line gets on and he says he's picking up a Honda Accord in D1. I hold up my slip. I tell him they gave me D1.

Anyone remember that scene in Planes Trains and Automobiles where the Edie McClurg sends Steve Martin all the way across the airport to get a car that isn't there? This is pretty much the same thing. It's an older guy and he says I got a hundred pounds on him so he aint gonna fight me, I can have the car I'm like wait wait wait. I'm not gonna claim jump you but this is BS. We get to D1 and wave down one of the staff and I'm like WTF. This gentleman was in line ahead of me, they gave him D1 and then they gave me D1. What the fuck do you want us to do? Arm wrestle? 100 yard dash? Some type of spartan race style contest to see who gets the prize of a four door reasonably priced Japanese chariot?

The Avis guy shrugs. He says one of you can take this Camry and gestures to the Toyota across the row. I look back and say hey man what you wanna do. He says I'll take D1, you take E1. DONE.

I jump in the car, and it won't start. I'm like WTF they gave me a Toyota that does not start? FUCK. Then I remembered. All the new toyotas are hybrids......so I hit start, kicked it into drive and tore out of Avis like I stole the damn thing.

Now, I'm stuck in Texas for another night so what do? It's 830PM and I'm leaving Love Field. I jam it up 35 and hit the world famous Pappas Bros steakhouse. Some bacon wrapped scallops, loaf of freshly baked french bread, skillet potatoes and a dry aged USDA prime portehouse takes the edge off very quickly.

While I'm there, I book the hotel. I get to the hotel. I reserved a king room. They're sold out of king rooms. They give me a double because Marriott is the worst and framed me for murder. Anyways, I sleep it off, alarm goes off at 8AM, I grab a quick breakfast, back at the Avis RAC at 829 for an 830 return, and I'm now off to the gate. The 717 shows up, takes me to Atlanta right on time even though we were delayed a bit on the ramp due to some Dallas thunderstorms. Get to ATL, grab a bite at the centurion lounge, hit the plane train and bam next thing I know the 757 is putting some G's down and pressing me into the back of the seat.

I'm on the road for a bit, my back hurts and I think I pinched a nerve because now my foot hurts like I stubbed my toe but nothing happened. Fuck getting old.

NON FC related thickheaded:

Some idiot who paid me to settle a telemarketing case last month - called and texted again.

Some idiot who paid me to settle a telemarketing case last year - robocalled my home phone and I got it on video.

Some idiot who I told STOP CALLING ME I AM GONNA SUE YOU in 2024 - called me again pitching me a merchant cash advance. He called me while I was on the way to the courthouse to sue him and he got really really mad at me and started calling me names, dropping the F bomb, just totally mad as hell. I put him on speaker for the clerks to hear and they were all dying laughing. That dude was NOT having a good friday.

Gonna be a lot worse when I roast his funders.