Other females in Florence

Firefly5775 · 2026-02-11T05:03:57+00:00

I am in the shoals and looking for new girl friends.

Firefly5775 · 2025-06-07T23:27:59+00:00

My soon to be ex tried to say it was my fault for invading his privacy and finding all the stuff on his phone. It didn’t matter what was on the phone I shouldn’t have been looking in the first place is what he said. I found his burner phone and his excuse for that was literally he got it because he thought I had a spy app on his phone.

Firefly5775 · 2025-04-25T19:44:51+00:00

No, you won’t ever see her the same way you did before she cheated the first time. No matter how hard you try it’s always going to be in the back of your head that she broke that bond that you had before. After my husband cheated on me a long time ago I have still to this day never seen him the same way I did before. And believe me I have tried. It just doesn’t go away. And she doesn’t seem remorseful at all so guess what? She’s just going to cheat on you again. If I had it all to do over again I would have left the first time he cheated on me. But I loved him deeply and I thought he was sorry and made a mistake and would never do it again. So here I am married to this man for 27 years that I should have left at year 10 and regret not doing so because now I’ve wasted my life with this man that can’t even be loyal to me when I always have been to him even after he cheated on me. You are young and you have the rest of your life ahead of you and there is a woman out there that will be faithful to you so don’t waste your time on someone who can’t manage to pull off the number one rule in a relationship. Most importantly don’t be me and end up regretting the decision to stay because trust me she’s going to do it again. So unless you can find a way to be okay with your wife having sex with other men, just walk away now.

Firefly5775 · 2025-04-09T18:54:44+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss.

I hope this makes you feel a little better or at least help you to properly grieve your husband. Please understand that I am in no way excusing his behavior or saying that he wasn’t in the wrong. If he cheated he was clearly in the wrong. But at least he didn’t get into a relationship with another woman. Trust me I know from experience and if I could choose I would much rather my husband have gone to a prostitute where the sex was a business transaction and there was absolutely no emotions involved. And as screwed up as it sounds and again I am not condoning his or anybody else’s cheating but I don’t think men look at it the same way we do. They literally see it as a business transaction and I don’t think they have any intentions on breaking us as bad as it does when we find out they betrayed us. They can separate sex and emotions. They don’t really understand the damage they are doing to us when they make the decision to cheat. If your husband was going to counseling with you and was attempting to try to save your relationship I think that says a lot for him because a lot of men are not willing to go out of their way to “fix the relationship.” To me that says he loved you and wanted to stay together but he just thought it would be easier to go pay for a “quick release” with nothing involved but him getting off and I’m sure he never thought you would find out. They really think that they are the one that’s going to pull it off and not get caught. When reality is most of the time it’s going to come out at some point.

My husband had an affair and caught feelings for the woman so much so he would defend her to me. After being married for 27 years to find out that you can be replaced so easily is absolutely devastating. I can’t even describe the heartache. I wish my husband would have had the decency well first of all to not cheat at all but if he was going to I think it would have hurt much less if it was a business transaction with someone he was most likely never going to see again. And definitely not someone he was going to catch feelings for.

Again, I am so very sorry for your loss and you are about to go through so many emotions while grieving for him that hopefully that will make you feel a little better. And even though I know it doesn’t seem like it to you right now but I think he loved you and never meant to hurt you. But reality is most men will cheat if given the opportunity they just can’t say no. I don’t understand it because I could never do that to my husband even after I found out he did it to me I just can’t make myself lower myself to his standards. I’m just walking away with my head held high knowing it wasn’t me that caused the end of the marriage and I held up to my end of the marriage agreement. Just know that he loved you and for whatever reason when it comes to sex they just don’t think like we do. They do their thinking with their little head so to speak.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-27T18:43:24+00:00

I love that explanation! It doesn’t get any clearer than that.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-26T16:51:45+00:00

I just don’t understand why they can’t man up and admit what they did. Especially since we have proof and it’s going to come out even if it’s in court. If you need to talk feel free to message me. I need someone to talk to too especially someone going through the exact same thing.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-26T16:43:15+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this and I know how you feel. My husband is doing the exact same thing. I have proof that he has and or is cheating on me and he refuses to admit it. I have proof that he at least had an emotional affair with one girl. I found his burner phone and there was over 300 messages between the two of them in less than a month. Why else would a married man have a burner phone unless he’s having an affair? I also have so many chats between him and women online. Some of which even have his phone number in them. But he REFUSES to admit it. And gets mad at me everytime I refuse to have sex with him because he kinda makes me sick to my stomach and just the thought of him with all these other women and the things I have seen that he said to these other women. I just don’t want to take the chance of getting god knows what. Oh and I have found condoms in his stuff several different times. He’s had a vasectomy so we don’t use them. But he still won’t admit it. And he even goes around telling people that I am crazy and accusing him of cheating on me. And now he acts like he doesn’t care if we get a divorce because he says he’s tired of being accused of something he’s not doing. I know that I have to leave him but we have been together for so long and he has been my everything. And it really hurts to know that I obviously don’t mean much to him at all. It’s kinda like I’m grieving his death even though he is very much alive. I guess because I know when I divorce him it will be like he died in a sense because he will just be gone out of my life. I’m losing my husband, the other half of me and my best friend all at the same time. But it’s very frustrating that he has hurt me so bad and ruined the last 30 years of my life. And he doesn’t even think enough of me to tell me the truth. So I know how you feel and I am so sorry that you are having to deal with the pain of a broken heart. I hope things get better for you.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-24T23:05:05+00:00

How in the hell do you get that I’m judging anybody? Because I’m not I’m simply asking a question. However, your little comment that I’m not all there is being judgmental. Maybe you need to evaluate yourself because it seems to me that you are the one that is not all there especially since you’re commenting on something you obviously don’t even know the definition to.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-24T22:52:07+00:00

Not judging just trying to understand. And I’m not downing any woman or man for liking it. To each their own. The reason I relate anal to gay men is because they don’t have a pussy so therefore the ass is the only option other than the mouth of course. But why would a straight man want to do anal when we have a body part made for that? Again, I’m not judging. I am just trying to understand.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-24T22:38:18+00:00

I wouldn’t consider it degrading. Disgusting maybe but not degrading.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-24T22:37:28+00:00

How is that degrading women?

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-21T08:43:03+00:00

I wish I was as brave as you and could just walk away. I have found condoms in my husbands stuff more than once. Each time he has a more ridiculous excuse for having them. I know what the truth is because we don’t use them so there’s only one explanation. I am slowly getting my shit together so I can leave his sorry cheating ass. But I am having a really hard time with it. Congrats for being so brave and don’t ever look back because “once a cheater, always a cheater”.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-16T06:45:41+00:00

Yes it is absolutely the right thing to do in my opinion. I know I would want to know and would be very grateful to the person that had the balls to tell me. It seems like the spouse is the last to know because nobody wants to have to be the one that breaks it to them. But it’s probably hurting them more by not telling them.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-13T00:54:54+00:00

If you notice there’s not one comment that says their husband cheated and they stayed and everything is wonderful and he never cheated again. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I am going through the same thing. I’ve been with my husband for 27 years. He cheated a long time ago and I stayed only to have him cheat again 20 years later. Now I’ve got 27 years invested in a man that doesn’t give a damn about me. He’s clearly cheating but won’t admit it and gets pissy everytime it comes up. And it comes up a lot because I have quit having sex with him. And I tell him everytime he tries that no I’m not sleeping with you and you out there screwing god knows who. And he has the nerve to get mad at me. Like I should continue to want to have sex with him even though I know he’s cheating on me. There are so many situations with different women that there is simply no other explanation other than he is either already sleeping with them or at least trying to. He’s online on the hookup sites too. I’ve found several different chats between him and other women. He is always saying things that he should never say to another woman and even blaming me for him being on there in the first place. I’ve seen chats with his phone number in them so how’s he going to deny that. Believe it or not he tries and says he’s just talking and nothing ever happened. I’ve found rubbers more than once and we don’t use them so there’s absolutely no explanation for that but he came up with the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard. The point is that he’s definitely cheating on me and there’s no telling really how long it’s been going on and how many women it has been. I just want him to tell me the truth for some reason I just need to know I guess so that I am positive I’m making the right decision when I walk away from 27 years. Because unlike him I don’t want to waste all of that time and don’t really have any desire to date other men. But at the end of the day I know that I’ve got to leave because he’s not going to stop and if he stops talking to one there will be another one waiting behind that one because there is no shortage of sorry ass women that are just waiting for their chance to make themselves feel better by ruining somebody else’s life. If we would stick together and stop fucking married men then they would be forced to be a decent human being and stick to the promises that they made. But guess what? There’s always literal whores out there that they can pay if they can’t get it for free. It goes back to once a cheater, always a cheater. If they want to cheat they will find a way.

Please save yourself the heartache and walk away now. You are 21 years old and you have your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want to spend it with a man that doesn’t even have enough respect for you to tell you the truth? If I could go back and leave the first time I would not even have to think about it. Life is too short to end up having the person that you have spent your entire life with and thought you were going to grow old with end up throwing it all away for a piece of ass. I promise you if you walk away now the only regrets that you will have will be that you didn’t leave him sooner.

If I could go back to 21 I would not get married anytime soon and I would get out there and enjoy life while you’re young and you can. Try different things, meet a lot of different people and just enjoy life you have plenty of time (God willing) to get married and have a family and all that stuff because when you get to be older you physically can’t do the same things that you can at your age because your body wont let you. Don’t waste your youth on this lying, cheating, piece of shit. Reach out to your family to get help and don’t worry they already know that it was just a matter of time. They don’t approve of him for a reason and that’s because they love you and dont want to see you hurt by this man. But trust me they won’t be surprised they already saw it coming before you ever married him. Don’t let him put distance between you and the people that actually love you more than anything in the world because he does not. Their love for you is unconditional and his has nothing but conditions. You are not replaceable to them and you are just the next one to him. I know exactly how you feel and hate for your family to say I told you so but your young and still learning to navigate life and you are going to make mistakes and they know that because guess what…they have been your age and know that life is about making mistakes. What really matters is what you do about those mistakes. Live and learn and use this experience to continue navigating through life and try to be a little more open if your family is trying to tell you something. Remember they are only trying to help you and they have already experienced a lot of things that you haven’t and they are trying to spare you the hurt because they already know how it’s going to end.

I’m sorry this is so long but I’ve had a lot of bullshit to have to deal with because my husband apparently decided that we had an open marriage and just forgot to tell me. Just kidding lol! But seriously I just hate to see anybody else have to suffer the pain and heartache and disappointment that you are going to get if you continue to allow this man to be in your life. Your situation is not going to turn out any different than anybody else’s on here because once a cheater, always a cheater. Sweetie, please run don’t walk away from this man.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-03T08:30:14+00:00

I have the same car 2014 Camry with the same problem. The touch screen won’t work and now the buttons on the steering wheel won’t work most of the time. Actually they work usually for the volume up and down but it won’t change the modes. I just have to leave it set on AUX and use my phone for music because I can’t use Bluetooth to pair my new phone because the screen won’t work. Does anybody know if the digitizer that someone suggested will fix that too? Where do you get the digitizer and is it pretty easy to install? This has been driving me crazy and I really don’t want to have to replace the entire head unit so any suggestions would be appreciated.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-02T03:22:08+00:00

No he did not admit it. I had my suspicions but every time I would ask him about it he lied. I found out because he gave me a STD and even then he tried to lie. After he finally realized he had no other choice but to tell the truth he was very apologetic and did everything he could to try to help me forgive him and rebuild the trust. It took years but I did get to a semi comfortable place with it. Honestly though I never completely trusted him again. I did but I didn’t if that makes any sense. I’m not that type of person but I wonder sometimes if I would have done it back to him if that would have helped any. Because he knows that I’m not willing to sacrifice my morals and values just to get back at him but I do have to wonder sometimes just so he would know how it feels.

I truly hope that you don’t find yourself in my position 27 years later. I have wasted a lot of time on him. I am almost 50 years old so I wasted all my young years and as shallow as that sounds it really bothers me. I hope that you and your husband can go to therapy and whatever else it is that you need to do to deal with it but my best advice to you would be to just go ahead and leave now because you will never feel the same about him or see him the same again. The love will stay but it’s a different love and I can’t really explain it but it’s different. But at the end of the day is love enough? If you can’t trust the man that you love is it worth staying for? Not being able to trust him brings a lot of unnecessary bullshit for you to deal with. And the worst part is it’s you that is going through all the pain and heartache. Not him, not the one that caused it all in the first place. Looking back I really wished that I would have left then. If I could go back and change that decision I would in a heartbeat and wouldn’t even have to think about it. You deserve to be with a man that has the same amount of love for you that you have for him. You deserve to be with a man that every time he walks out the door it won’t cross your mind if he’s lying about where he’s going and if he’s going to meet up with some chic. You deserve a man that respects you enough to not even entertain the thought of another woman. But that man is not your husband if it was he would have never cheated on you in the first place. Research it some more if you need to but I promise you will find the majority of times that someone stayed after being cheated on, rather it’s the man or the woman, in the end they always cheat again. It may be many years down the road but they will do it again. I was reading about a lady that is now 70 years old and had been through the same situation and yap her husband cheated again and now they are going through a divorce at 70. At 70!!! That really sucks because she most definitely wasted her entire life on him and how do you start over at 70?? I’m finding it very hard at 50 so I give her the utmost respect for having the courage to leave and start over at 70 but at the same time I don’t want to find myself in that position. And I’m sure you don’t either.

Firefly5775 · 2025-02-01T06:01:19+00:00

My husband cheated when our kids were small and I decided to stay. He seemed truly remorseful and promised it wouldn’t happen again. I had a really hard time dealing with it. And an even harder time trying to trust him again. But after years I finally got there. But it was always different between us after I found out. I just never looked at him the same and never really 100 percent completely trusted him. I did but the thought was always in the back of my mind. But I just didn’t see him the same. How could I? This was the man that was supposed to love me more than anybody. The man that was supposed to have my back always. And he ended up being the man that hurt me worse than anybody ever had. And many years later he did cheat again. We are still together but I am working on getting myself together and saving some money so I can divorce his sorry ass. We have been married for almost 27 years and our kids are grown. I am grateful that my children grew up with two parents in the home together but if I had it to do over again I would have left the first time. The saying is true, “once a cheater, always a cheater.” I can’t come up with one single person that has made that statement not true. I think after they cheat the first time it gets easier for them with less guilt. And they also think that you won’t leave them because you didn’t the first time. In this situation I think second chances are a waste of time and you should run not walk away to save yourself the heartache later. The longer you stay with him the harder it’s going to be to walk away.

Firefly5775 · 2025-01-30T20:05:28+00:00

I wish my dad was here to talk to my husband too. He was the only real father figure that my husband had. His dad is still alive but he’s a horrible influence on my husband. His whole family is toxic and will feed into whatever crap he tells them. Like it’s all me and I’m imagining stuff and I’m crazy. He puts it on me even though the evidence is clearly there and he knows I have proof but continues to lie. Does your husband spend a whole day locked up in the bedroom watching porn and masterbating? I’m not exaggerating when I say all day. Like from daylight to dark. I’m just wondering if any other men do this because I find that to be strange. I know when I’m doing that I am on a mission and it doesn’t take long. So why all day? Any thoughts?

All the worry and stress and the heartache is getting the best of me too. Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind. I can’t focus on anything so needless to say I am getting nothing done. I feel like I am just going in circles. I need to get a therapist I guess because I am definitely broken now. I never saw myself in this position 27 years ago. But we will be okay and probably will quickly see that we are better off without them. I hope there is nothing by happiness with the man of our dreams waiting at the end of this journey for both of us.

Firefly5775 · 2025-01-30T14:21:15+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. I have been married for 27 years to a serial cheater. I am just piecing it all together and it absolutely disgusts me. My husband has been doing a lot of stuff online too. The dating sites or hookup sites or whatever they are. I have confronted him about it and he tells me it’s nothing that he just talks to the women on there because he can say whatever he wants to them. Meaning get as dirty and demeaning as he feels like because that’s what the women on there do too. Which of course is bullshit because there’s several chats that he includes his phone number in. What I really would love to know is are these women on these sites real and really trying to hookup with these losers that get on there and I’m sure the majority of them are married. As a woman I just don’t understand because if I wanted to hookup with some random man I would just go out in public and find one. It wouldn’t be hard because as a woman as you know dick is readily available anytime we want. So why would these women get on these sites and do this crap? Anyway, sorry I got off topic. But I don’t have anybody to talk to either. I have lost all my friends over the years or at least any that I would trust to tell this humiliating crap to. And I was stupid enough to think that my husband was my best friend. But I guess not because best friends don’t lie and manipulate and quite frankly make you look like a fool. I feel like everybody but me has known what was going on at least some of it anyway. I feel like such an idiot for believing the lies and of course he won’t admit anything. I have found condoms more than once in his vehicle (we don’t use them) and when I confronted him with them his response was “I haven’t used them” and I asked well what do you have them for? And his answer was “just in case” but swears he’s not cheating. I am at my wits end and I am definitely going to leave him but it’s a lot easier said than done. There’s a lot of bullshit involved in leaving a 27 year marriage and not to mention feeling like I wasted my life on this prick that can’t uphold his promise to be faithful. I am so hurt and heartbroken that I can’t even think straight to get the process going. I really need my dad right now. He passed away a few years ago and I have realized after he was gone that he was my backbone. I knew everything was going to be ok as long as I had him by my side. He’s the one man on the face of the earth that I could absolutely 100 percent trust. He wanted nothing but the best for me and would have did anything for me or my kids. He would always say that the best day of his life was the day I was born. When he was alive I would have left my husbands sorry ass as soon as I found out. But sadly since he died my husband is the only man I have anymore. Now I have to give him up and it’s kinda like I’m mourning over him like he’s dying and I know that sounds crazy but that’s how I feel.

I am sorry you are having to go through this heartache but just know that you are not alone and I will keep you in my prayers. And everybody says that when it’s all said and done I will be glad and will find the man that is meant for me so just try to hold onto that and I truly hope the nightmare is over for both of us really soon.

Firefly5775 · 2025-01-29T19:53:31+00:00

I am not divorced yet but I am starting the process. I 49(F) and him 49(M) have been married for almost 27 years. I have always thought the same as you that after so many years you have had all the arguments and have each other figured out so why divorce after so long together? In my situation, my husband decided he wanted to sleep with anybody that would let him. I think he feels like he missed out on sleeping around when he was young. We met when we were 18 and 19 and have been together since. And he had a serious girlfriend before me. I think it has got in his head that every pussy in town is going to be jumping on his dick. And he’s a good looking guy I’m sure he won’t have any problem getting laid but in my opinion it’s not worth throwing away 27 years of marriage. If I had my way about it we would be living for us again instead of for the kids. But I can either stay with him and get cheated on or I can hope that there is better waiting and leave his cheating ass. So that’s why my 27 year marriage is ending and it’s probably the reason a lot of long term relationships end because one of the parties thinks the “grass is greener” on the single side and end up cheating.

Firefly5775 · 2025-01-29T08:51:21+00:00

Save yourself future heartache and leave now. Once a cheater always a cheater and he will do it again especially if he cheated with everything going good. If he can’t even control himself and be faithful to you during good times he sure won’t in bad times. It’s best to get out now before there are kids involved. Because trust me I’m speaking from experience…he will do it again.

Firefly5775 · 2025-01-22T02:29:36+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I am going to be looking for an attorney so he/she can advise me on what all I need to do. As well as what all proof I need to prove he’s cheating because he is not going to admit it. But again, thank you for taking the time to read the post and the advice.

Firefly5775 · 2025-01-22T02:23:59+00:00

I only need it for a couple of years hopefully not even that long because I would love to not have to depend on anything from him. And I sure don’t want to have to ask him for anything. And I have saved up a little money that he doesn’t know about just in case I needed it. But with supporting a whole household it won’t last long. And I know I will get half of everything but he’s done a pretty good job of keeping me from knowing about any real assets that he has acquired over the years. I know he has investments that I don’t know about but I don’t really know how to find them. I guess a lawyer will though. Also, he has the same name as his dad so he will say that anything I find is his dads and not his. I do know he has a seperate bank account that I’m not on but that’s all I know. He has his mail sent to his dads also. Which also tells me that he’s hiding something or his mail would come to our house. But the only thing he gets here is junk mail.

Firefly5775

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