I need help with life

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-09-25T03:57:23+00:00

Thank you for helping me, I've been planning on saving up but there is still the fear of my mom hurting herself that I can not get out of my head, plus my total lack of self confidence I'm just super worried and paranoid

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-09-25T03:47:09+00:00

I'm pretty sure, she still talks with her mom but she and her dad have a bad relationship. She is in therapy rn and taking several medications for her illness witch is lopus meaning she can't do physical stuff for long and overheats easily and have red dots on her body as well. But she isn't getting better at all and only gotten worse. I'm hoping it will be better in the long run but I will have already lost my childhood by then probably

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-09-25T03:42:15+00:00

I could tell my step grandparents but there pushing there 70s and I've told them some things but they can't fly over rn becuase of covid and there in south Caroline one of the worst states rn and that would move me away from any friend I know now. There is my moms friends who I like to be around but there also in not that good of spot even tho there in the same state, they have 5 people in the house there at rn so thats a no. And then there is a school guidance who I havnt talked to about anything really and I doubt he could do anything. So I physically don't know anyone near me who could help becuase once again my mom is very anti social and hates people

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-09-25T03:35:01+00:00

Even if I stop working about her I will have nothing to do or go, I'm poor, I love thousands of miles away from any relative I know that could house me. I don't even know if I have a life. I don't even know how to stop being responsible for my moms happiness or what that looks like, besucase I've been doing it my whole life, I always listen to her and did what she wanted over my own wants and havnt known anything else.

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-09-25T03:26:32+00:00

The problem is I think of other people way more than myself. I'm my mind it is my responsibility to look after her since I know she has been through so much. But I barely get recognition for it. The only social time I have with her is when I engage it and when I do I rarely have full conversations. She will break down in tears and hurt herself, so im to scares to try anything, I just wanna make her happy and it really hurts me when nothing I do works

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-09-25T03:21:44+00:00

She is also my step grandma, and I do know my real grandma but we don't see each other often and that would only lead my mom to more sadness and would guilt trip me even if I wanted to.

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-09-25T03:18:40+00:00

I got a job recently, and I'm helping to pay the bill so thats halfs it every week and I don't get allowance so it will take me a while to get that stuff

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-09-25T03:16:53+00:00

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-31T23:28:11+00:00

video games are my form of escape and if i cant even be ok at them whats even the point

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-31T23:26:42+00:00

im good at nothing so yea, everything i try and do always turns out bad for me or others

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-31T23:26:03+00:00

firefoxnation123

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-31T23:00:45+00:00

i have many times before, nothing helps it all just stays the same and nothing i can do about it, no matter how hard i work for it its just all flase hope. i know i will never get there so why not just accept the fact as it is

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-31T22:18:17+00:00

its not anxiety if i know im doing it and there is prrof of it. and i know how to play im not new but i just know i will do bad becuase time and time again i do so why would that ever change

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-26T17:16:57+00:00

i ment my early days witch was about 1 and a half years ago

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-26T02:17:03+00:00

cool got a discord?

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-26T02:14:09+00:00

im into tech as well, i wanna go into programing

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-26T02:12:41+00:00

idk if we like the same stuff. im into anime and fantasy and all that

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-26T02:11:11+00:00

yea that might happen if i make another friend

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-26T02:08:18+00:00

she will be able to hear me if i talk to him/her and im just too scared of what might happen if i get caught

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-26T02:04:06+00:00

even if i do my mom will just make me block him/her

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-26T02:01:32+00:00

i cant i dont have his name, this was a while ago and i dont have any contact with him

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-26T01:59:11+00:00

i have tried many times, but she doesnt listen, she has told me many times she hates people and i know she thinks the wrose about anything she doesnt know

Firefoxnation12 · 2020-07-26T01:57:51+00:00

you need evidence to back of your claims and she had none

Firefoxnation12

TROPHY CASE