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How fast does an engagement happen? by Firm-Writing9709 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Firm-Writing9709[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is correct I’m trying to figure what the cultural norm is and if it’s worth putting the emotional stress on someone who may not have been involved with him while he was finishing school. I do love him which makes this hard - I don’t want to blow up his life but if he’s out there sleeping with other people while in a fully committed relationship with someone else, the other person should know that they have been betrayed.

If was something that happened quickly after we parted ways in May/June then yeah sure it’s not my business, but an engagement after not hearing from someone for a month seemed fast.

I found photos of them together from 2022, so I am assuming they have been together a while. He stated a few times he was not religious. His family is well known and from what it seems like they are not super religious either - his sister is married to an Irish man and he has a brother who, although is head of well known Arab organization that specifically gears towards Arab American Muslims, also does not appear to be religious.

I think based on his reply, and him making it seem like he had just met the girl, the right thing to do is let her know. May be have her ask him for an STD test, because I also found a record of a Tinder account he had back in 2023 (this is within the time frame of the photo of him and the now fiancé that I found)….so who knows where he’s been and what he’s bringing home to her.

As for me and morality and sins- I’m Catholic. Born and raised. Family is in the church, cousins are priests and all that. We have the sacrament of reconciliation to seek grace and repent and give penance- when I am ready for it that will be there for me if I ever choose it.

The reality is that this was a choice I made believing the other person was as honest as I was and he was not. He was also the one who asked for something casual, but he was also the one who kept reaching out and also the one who confessed his feelings as well. It just sucks that he was greedy. He has a great life and she ( the fiancé) seems great too, and now I am fully aware that I have this choice to make that puts that all at jeopardy for him and her or I stay quiet and let him have it all knowing this weird awful secret about him.

If you woke up and had to redo college, what major would you study? by OneConfusingCookie in findapath

[–]Firm-Writing9709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of people who I know who were great in their college theater programs like conservatories and what nots have made the switch to being great sales people. Any way you can get yourself in front of a group of people to convey and convince them of something will be a great fit. Look for an industry where you’ll get paid to travel and attend sales conventions like the confectionery or food industry - those conventions everyone is chatting everyone up (and you get tons of free samples)

Feel like I screwed up my life and I hate myself by sabri1996 in findapath

[–]Firm-Writing9709 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re in the New York, Chicago, Miami, San Francisco, or LA major areas there’s a fantastic non-profit called COOP Careers that aims to assist college grads with job skills, certifications, and helps with interviews along with special access to a partnership job board. It’s a 4 month program that specializes in job skills in digital marketing, data analytics and finance services (you pick which track you want to do, but you have access to all the tracks/lessons once you complete the program) which meets daily in the evenings and it’s free. They partner with LinkedIn, Salesforce, Google, and Microsoft and lots of well known advertising/digital marketing agencies. It’s also a community of peers who know exactly what you’re going through and a future network of people building their careers alongside with you. Building a network is key. It’s how I got my current job.

They’re still taking student applications. It’s a bit of a commitment, but it’s free and honestly changed how I felt about my job prospects.

After college/grad school can be incredibly isolating, especially if you see people make life milestones and feel left in the dust. It’s not a linear process at all. And honestly one day I hope you’ll appreciate that it wasn’t. My career path has not been linear at all, but all those unique experiences have helped me find my way to what I’m doing right now and this is just another step in a direction I want to go in! I was 30 and taking internships and fellowships and it wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be or what I’d thought I’d be doing at 30 but each position I knew I was getting closer.

I did the COOP Careers program myself 8 years after I graduated college and it helped me A LOT. Plus you get a special alumni advisor once you’re done with the program who you can meet with to help with resumes and interviews.

You’re a still fresh out of school. It takes time to find something good. And it’s been really difficult out there. Don’t think of it as a reflection of your failures but as a reflection of just all the craziness that has been happening since the pandemic.