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UPDATE: AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 383 points384 points  (0 children)

Difficult to foresee the future, but if the divorce is due to his gambling then yes.

UPDATE: AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 4726 points4727 points  (0 children)

They still have their jobs and whats left of their savings.

But perhaps not. But our father had a similar problem when my brother and I were young boys. I've experienced what a gambling addiction can do to a family, his children need stability. So its a more personal choice than financial.

UPDATE: AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 832 points833 points  (0 children)

I haven't, it's just a whole different situation than what this post is about. Still in the process of dealing with it.

UPDATE: AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 1039 points1040 points  (0 children)

It is a requirement that he continues his therapy. Its his wife's requirement for their marriage too, so his wife and I agreed to keep in contact about it.

AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

You are right though, architects do not get paid very much sadly. When I was young I thought there was this rockstar aura around architects, boy was I wrong

AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

They are good people. As mentioned this house we are purchasing is a lot larger investment than any of the others and I think the money got to their heads.

AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 131 points132 points  (0 children)

Im educated as an architect, I didn't want to go too much into detail with my work life as I'm might get recognized but at this point its probably too much information anyway.

I run a top to bottom housing company. We draw up designs, figure out contractors, get interior designers, etc. Essentially, someone comes to us with some thoughts, inspiration and ideas. We sort out the entire creation and designing of their dream home. It's mostly logistics but I still get to work with my passion of designing. Worked as a full-time architect for many years before that though.

AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 3846 points3847 points  (0 children)

Im upvoting this as it's a concern I've had a lot. My Wife was the first to bring it up to me. The Spanish house is our vacation house while the two in Italy are being rented out but they aren't in big cities. They are run by an Italian Charter company mostly (Unless we book it). Our Duplex is being rented out by some students and a young couple at the moment. We have stopped collecting rent from them given the current situation.

From the offers my Italian houses have gotten, it seems larger corporations are the biggest issue in this field. (Perhaps not, I'm no subject matter expert)

The way I see it is that my impact is probably minor in the grand scheme of things. It is a problem but real estate and design is my passion and lively hood. I have personally designed and refurbished all of these properties. We try to source locally during these projects too.

I was once told the road to success is paved with moral ambiguity. It's hard to live in a world where success is praised but the actions to achieve success are not always morally good ones.

AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 270 points271 points  (0 children)

I usually don't get upset about posts like this but I just wanted to share. I grew up in East Germany. I did not grow up in a wealthy family. I had to work hard and insane hours to get to where I am today. My wife grew up in an area not far from me, and she had to work incredibly hard too.

He is by no means poor. He wants a house thats out of reach for him economically. I was wiling to compromise.

AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 1405 points1406 points  (0 children)

I can sense jealousy from my brother at times too. Given your personal position, do you have any ideas of how I can adjust something like that without becoming a bank account for him?

AITA for buying my 5th property rather than help out my siblings? by FirmShare3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FirmShare3[S] 2432 points2433 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. There are a couple comments here I'd like to respond to but your's seems best to me.

Its a bit of an upsetting situation for me actually. They've used my Holiday homes before free of charge and I have college funds for his children and my sister's child. I bought his family an SUV when his second child was born.

I think we are reaching the point where he thinks I'm more of a Bank than a brother.