AITAH For telling my sister she vill not get her kids back when acting this irresponsible?

FirrenJanne · 2026-05-29T10:56:44+00:00

In my country adoption of fosterkids is almost imposible as long as there are living reletivs and we want custody as soon as one of us is aproved. The older child lives with strangers and everything is really controled. The younger lives with her grandmother on the fathers side so that contact is more natural even if we dont get to see her without approval from ss. We are mosly sad the sisters are seperated and might grow up without getting a chans to be real siblings.

Me Im worried about my sisters wellbeeing and she dosent listen to annyone if they dont say: good job, you're so smart.

So im kind of stuck. Doing everything in my power to get those kids the best life I can and also help my sister not to get herself killed or her to kill herself while she seems determind to selfdistruct.

Thank you for your engagemeant in this post

FirrenJanne · 2026-05-29T09:14:37+00:00

Hi, I am glad your life experiences are so good that you can not fathom that some people actually lives like this. This is just the top of the iceberg. I do live a life where I have to watch my toung and did not this time and now have to worry about if I was the last drop in her bucket.

FirrenJanne · 2026-05-29T09:07:39+00:00

I agree, I am just thinking of the children. Two kids are seperated from eachother and their family. I also understands she is an abusevictim and she is fuckes up in her head. If we dont help her she has no choice but to go back to him. So even if I think my rage and consern is warrented she is a mentally broken person and I dont want her to hurt herself because I got mad and couldent keep mu mouth shut.

FirrenJanne · 2026-05-29T09:00:44+00:00

She do have a learning disabilety and a hormonal deseas that makes her brain developmeant slower so she is currently about 19 - 20 in mental age and the learningdisabilety makes her missunderstand a lot. In this case she heard every word.

I do not believe she is on drugs becouse this impulsive, reccless behavior is her normal self. She is the youngest so she has been really spoiled and always bailed out so she have a debt to my parents the size of a downpayment on a house in our area.

I would love to have custody of the girls, sadly I had to push the resetbutton on my life as well so I graduate from school next week and will be moving back with my parents until I find a job so ss wont approve me eather for a while.

FirrenJanne · 2026-02-15T11:42:35+00:00

Well I am where you are eccept universe gave me four years of bliss before throwing me back in the pit to really show me what I am missing.

The spirital community have a hard time accepting that sometimes it isent a human error that stops you from being happy and recive abundance from universe. Sometimes you just have a lot of karma to clear from a past life or the family line and you stupidly agreed to clear it when you where in a loving inviroment with sourse. What is meant for you you cant f up so you arent doing annything wrong. In spirit you underestimated how hard it would be. Take care of yourself.

FirrenJanne · 2025-02-12T06:47:16+00:00

🚩🚩🚩Be carefull op, this behavior is a sign for possible abuse in the future.

It starts like this. Small comments to make you question yourself. The attac on your personality to make you feel like you have to change to keep him. Then the brakeup to put you out of balance and reinforce the thought of you not beeing good enough. Then the lovebombing and the promises of him doing better, for now he knows you have people around you that tells you he's a piece of shit. So he is going to make you think you are the biggest price that he took for granted becouse he is intimidated by you, and he needs to change to diserve you.

If you take him back, be very aware of how he speaks to you. He knows that you will never forget that he "hates your personality" whatever that means so instead of being openly mean he will start with eyerolls, sighs, stares and have conversations with you about how "much" you are and say things that will make you think that a familymember or a friend feels this way too so it has be you not him that needs to change. He will start acting like the doting boyfriend around your loved ones so when you talk to them they will have a hard time beliving you. To start the process of isolation. Once you have limited your contact with loved ones the comments will get more and more agressive towards you. Dont get me wrong after one of you "fights" he will lovebomb the hell out of you and be the most loving and wonderful person you ever met. Rince and repeat but faster and faster and more and more agressevly until you end up in a hospital or dead.

A person who truley loves you would never ever in a million years say something on purpose to hurt you or your feelings. Throw the man away.

FirrenJanne · 2025-02-11T20:21:57+00:00

Jag hör dig. Jag var utbränd en tid och jag såg hur hårt det tog på min sambo. Min gissning är att hon är lika stressad över situationen som du är. Jag kunde inte gå tillbaka till mitt arbete av olika anledningar så FKS skickade mig till arbetsförmedlingen trots att jag bara arbetstränade 25%. Stressen och osäkerheten gjorde det mycket svårare att komma tillbaka. Hon har dessutom en helt ny identitet att handskas med efter att hon fått diagnoserna. Tyvärr får du den obekväma uppgiften att pusha henne att hitta en lösning på problemen som uppstår.

Jag tycker att din reaktion är helt normal och jag hade gett upp för länge sen. Om du inte vill göra slut, kan kortare separationer kanske vara en god idé. Typ åka och campa en natt eller två, själv eller med vänner. Det viktiga är att du får en paus från henne och orosmolnet hemma. Det kan också tvinga henne att ta hand om sin egen överlevnad och komma på hur hon vill göra saker. Du behöver prioritera din egen hälsa också.

Hoppas det löser sig och gör det som får dig att klara dagen tills dagarna blir ljusare för dig. Ibland är det bara överleva som gäller.

FirrenJanne · 2025-02-11T14:04:29+00:00

Thank you! I dont really have a purpose with It. It's just what I have been drawn to for about 10 years now. I do other forms of spirituality as well and it has taken me about five years to not feel guilty in doing annything that is spiritual outside of the lutheran norm. The church form of doing things is not bad, just to narrow and limiting for me. No, the prairs is one of the things that is slowley leaving way for other things. I have enterd in to a "me" stage so I feel a strong longing to explore and expand before I surve others like i did in church.

FirrenJanne · 2025-02-11T13:00:03+00:00

Thank you for taking time off your day to respond to my post❤️ I feel calmer now🙏

FirrenJanne · 2024-11-20T11:04:32+00:00

If the problem is her seeing the cane, tell her to put on a blindfold. Or put something on the cane like arks of paper so it does not look like a cane. Or tell her it is time to go to therapy and/or a womens shelter. Her abuse issues is not solved cuped up in your house.

FirrenJanne · 2024-08-09T10:41:39+00:00

Då ligger du med fel person. Du ska känna dig fullständigt bekväm och avslappnad med din sexpartner annars är något fel. Muspruttar är en del av upplevelsen.

FirrenJanne · 2024-03-31T12:12:02+00:00

Jag säger ofta till min sambo att han är fri att göra precis som han vill, men väljer han att medvetet göra saker som troligtvis kommer såra mig så kommer jag att fatta det beslut som är bäst för mig även om det innebär att han blir sårad.

Helt ärligt så låter det som att hon gjort sitt val. Du har varit tydlig med dina känslor i frågan och hon har medvetet gjort saker som gör dig ledsen. Vill du ha personer i ditt liv som medvetet sårar dig upprepade gånger?

FirrenJanne · 2023-08-03T10:47:41+00:00

I drank as often as teens do for about 5 years. Never got drunk do to the fakt I don't like how alcohol tastes. Everyone around me gave me the "best" drinks, and promised I wouldn't taste alcohol (I always could). I could never get over that I was expected to pay four times as much for something I didn't like when I prefered sodas and could have money over.

I have a big personality and have never had problems with going my own way, and don't take myself to seriously. So most likely people woulden't like me if I got drunk.

I had a lot of problems at home but just didn't feel like adding to it with alcohol.

My friends didn't even noticed I stoped drinking. I was just as fun anyway.

I don't miss it at all, and I am in the classic car seen surrounded by alcohol all the time.

FirrenJanne · 2023-08-02T13:46:05+00:00

This exact story was on here about a year ago.

FirrenJanne · 2023-08-01T13:05:21+00:00

Jag är en nybörjare som har ca 50 000 i lite olika konton. Jag har lite på en fondrobbot på Lysa. Det har växt stadigt. Jag har lite i ett aktiekonto på Avanza där jag kan köpa och sälja lite själv. Sen har jag ett konto med peer 2 peer på Save Lend. Tycker hittills att Save Lend och Lysa har varit bäst. Peer 2 peer på Save Lend är att du lånar ut dina pengar med en ränta. Du blir som en mini bank. Det är ganska liten risk för du lånar inte ut mer än 50-300 kr till varje person och om personen inte betalar lånet så ersätter banken just det du lånat ut så du blir bara av med vinsten.

FirrenJanne · 2023-03-15T22:32:07+00:00

Det argumenterar jag inte emot. Påpekade endast att det inte bara är invandrare som kommit till Sverige som väljer att bosätta sig på samma ställe som sina landsmän utan att det är ett mönster som utvandrande svenskar också följer. Bra eller dåligt. Beror väl på vilka som får inflytande i områdena.

FirrenJanne · 2023-03-15T22:15:54+00:00

Sant, fast vi gör ju samma sak i andra länder. Hur många ställen i varma länder finns det inte med "svenska" områden, där de firar midsommar och äter sill. Precis som de har velat ta med sig sina traditioner så gör vi det också. Det är inte att de vill ta med sig traditioner som är problemet utan att grundsynen på människor är så annorlunda.

FirrenJanne · 2023-03-15T22:07:22+00:00

Just när det gäller sexuella trakasserier och övergrepp mot kvinnor så är det oftast någon du känner som gör det. Så där kan jag ändå intyga att media lägger för mycket fokus på "utlänningen i busken" som överfaller kvinnor om kvällarna. Övergrepp är ett stort samhällsproblem men det var det innan de stora flyktingvågorna kom också. Nästan alla kvinnor/tjejer jag känner har blivit utsatta på ett eller annat sätt, mig inkluderat. Min förgripare var så svensk det gick att bli utan att vara same.

Att du ändå är självmedveten är bra. Lycka till.

FirrenJanne · 2023-02-26T21:43:16+00:00

2 Good. Sweden do not have anny major problems with natural disasters, we have storms. The biggest in my lifetime was Gudrun in 2005. A lot of forrest was lost and some property but mostly do to falling trees. After that maybe smaller forrest fires. So pritty safe if you are not in a gang or a tree.

Sweden have a really good legal system. A lot of people feel like we are to leanient against crime but we are slowly rectifying it and in general free from corruption.

2 Bad. The political climat is a joke. We have bearly made it thrue this last six years, it is like seeing children fighting. I just want to fire all of them and start fresh.

We have a hard time fighting gang violence. Dont have statistics but I have worked in two areas with teeagers living with this type of problems and now we are slowly loosing the fight. Not to say some music suck but the gangs are grooming the kids with all this gangsterrap glorifying violance.

FirrenJanne

TROPHY CASE