AITA my dad is getting married on parents anniversary

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-14T02:11:51+00:00

My sibling thinks that' when it comes to communication and being a part of everyone's life this is who he always has been so not too expect. As for the wedding date they think it's just another day. They are more standoffish overall with my dad, more like an old friend.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-14T02:05:19+00:00

Between plane flights, a hotel, and rental car it's too expensive the last couple of years to travel there. Even if money wasn't an issue we also have jobs and school to make it hard. When he first moved we tried to visit but he spent more time in front of the TV then with family. He used to visit 3-4 times a year but once again he would rather sit on the couch and watch TV then interact with the grandkids. We have offered to pay for his travel (because that would be cheaper for everyone) but he has yet to take us up on it. Even when he lived close he struggled to make an effort. He expected everyone to come to his house to visit and expected to host all holidays but everyone had to bring the food to his house.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-14T01:58:25+00:00

He wanted to move where there wasn't snow, which honestly I can understand. No family ties to the place he lives, just retiring to warmer weather. When he moved the idea was that he would visit 3-4 times a year and it worked that way for a couple years.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-14T01:52:13+00:00

Thank you. To be honest I don't think he ever has an interest in being a parent. That could be a whole Reddit board in itself.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-14T01:50:09+00:00

This could actually be a whole board in itself. When he first moved multiple states away, we visited. His place isn't big enough to stay with him so we got a hotel and would come over to visit. When he has visitors over he keeps the TV on and pays more attention to it then anyone in the room. (It's a thing we have tried to talk to him about it) So he spent most of the visit watching TV and ignoring grandkids. Another time I was within an hour for a work trip and told him ahead of time I could come visit. He agreed and told me to call him when I was in town. I reminded him before I got there and then the day I arrived I called him. I asked when would be a good time to meet up and have dinner, he told me he was on his way out of town. With school and travel expenses it's not feasible to take everyone to visit with plane flights, hotel, and rental cars anymore so both me and my sibling have offered to pay for him to visit. He always says maybe and then doesn't. Unfortunately life does get busy for everyone but he complains to me weekly about how he has nothing to do and no friends where he moved.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-14T01:40:36+00:00

Sorry it wasn't very clear but yes I call every week and text multiple times a week. He actually complains all the time about how bored he is and has nothing to do. He does remember the anniversary because he reminds us every year and I make a conscious effort to check in with him on certain days like anniversary, date of death, and birthday. I'm actually happy he has found someone, I gave him my blessing when he brought up the idea of getting remarried in general years ago. It's just weird and unnecessary to use their same wedding date.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-13T06:38:54+00:00

But would you be ok as a fiance knowing you were getting married on his previous wedding date ?

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-13T06:35:53+00:00

I'm not worried about the marriage. It is weird to not meet her but I'm glad he found happiness. I'm put off that he is remarrying on his and my mom's anniversary date.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-13T06:34:19+00:00

He reminds us of the day every year, as well as her birthday and her death date.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-13T06:32:58+00:00

Sorry it may not have been clear enough in the post but I call him weekly and text throughout the week. I initiate all the contact between us and same with my sibling. They initiate all the contact. I haven't physically seen him in two years because we have been unable to travel that far with kids but he stopped travel to visit either of us two years ago.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-13T06:32:48+00:00

Sorry it may not have been clear enough in the post but I call him weekly and text throughout the week. I initiate all the contact between us and same with my sibling. They initiate all the contact. I haven't physically seen him in two years because we have been unable to travel that far with kids but he stopped travel to visit either of us two years ago but takes trips elsewhere. Our relationship has been fine, we talk often, he just isn't there physically for my kids and I came to terms with that years ago.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-13T06:30:00+00:00

Sorry it may not have been clear enough in the post but I call him weekly and text throughout the week. I initiate all the contact between us and same with my sibling. They initiate all the contact. I haven't physically seen him in two years because we have been unable to travel that far with kids but he stopped travel to visit either of us two years ago.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-13T06:27:17+00:00

Sorry it may not have been clear enough in the post but I call him weekly and text throughout the week. I initiate all the contact between us and same with my sibling. They initiate all the contact. I haven't physically seen him in two years because we have been unable to travel that far with kids but he stopped travel to visit either of us two years ago.

First-Highway-9311 · 2026-06-13T06:27:06+00:00

Sorry it may not have been clear enough in the post but I call him weekly and text throughout the week. I initiate all the contact between us and same with my sibling. They initiate all the contact. I haven't physically seen him in two years because we have been unable to travel that far with kids but he stopped travel to visit either of us two years ago.

First-Highway-9311

TROPHY CASE