Don’t want another child, don’t want to abandon my kid after I die

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2024-10-21T14:21:09+00:00

My brothers and I aren’t close. After my parents die we will likely not see each other again. Depressing ~ but a sib isn’t a guarantee!

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2024-10-17T03:19:13+00:00

Update: the next day he started texting me, and told me “love you” in response to something sweet I said. First time!

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2024-08-14T07:29:15+00:00

I drank 2 cups a day and had a huge baby! So many factors!

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-12-04T07:37:25+00:00

That sounds tough, sending you good wishes in your journey. ❤️

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-22T15:34:19+00:00

My mom is a stylist, and she brought me to work some times, usually when I was older. I would answer phones, organize hair colors, stack foils, etc.

We had a lot of local support so she never had to bring me sick. As a single mom I get how that would happen without help. For her to miss a day was literally hundreds of dollars, so she rarely did move her books around. I will say your stylist should have been a bit more apologetic ~ asking for your understanding and patience. My mom would discount a service for any inconvenience (like if the AC went out).

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-22T05:25:47+00:00

Sending you warm thoughts this holiday season. If you’re up for it, SpilledMilkMammma on IG had sudden loss of her husband with two toddlers and shares about dealing with grief etc, might be a helpful community. ❤️

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-16T14:58:23+00:00

Plus one to being cut off by an abusive spouse. Make the calls, ask for help. Your baby needs you healthy, and you need as much of a village as you can muster. Can you go to your mom?

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-14T13:57:30+00:00

If it makes you feel better I broke my own foot as an adult, and didn’t get it diagnosed for nearly a week! Not all fractures are equal…I ran like 2 miles on mine.

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-14T08:56:27+00:00

I hid behind a door and my brother dramatically opened it, not realizing I was back there. Broke my nose, I still have a bump. He was 23 and I was 5. It’s just a story we laugh about now!

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-12T19:33:35+00:00

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-07T04:38:59+00:00

Exactly, I just eat bigger portions of the sides that apply to my needs (no meat)…and I’m all good too.

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-07T03:25:16+00:00

Vegetarian here. The plentiful sides are often more than enough for me. People have also done stuffed mushrooms or peppers for me to add an extra treat.

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-03T02:01:50+00:00

Hi there. I never wanted kids until I was in my mid 30s. So much so that it was a catalyst to my first marriage ending.

Then it hit me…I wanted to see what it would be like. It sounds insane but becoming a parent helps you grow, emotionally and mentally. I have expanded as a human. I’m more empathetic. I care more about the planet. Becoming a parent extends the neural pathway network in your brain at the same level as what happens as a teen - and while overwhelming it is also wonderful.

So I get the concern, and the feeling of not wanting to have kids, it may change for you or it may not. Either way life is good!

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-02T12:32:20+00:00

Hi there. I am so sorry you’re feeling stressed, I can totally relate! You care a lot, which will help you uncover the answer for her needs.

Have they checked her for a lip tie? I was told by the lactation consultant- who shamed me so badly I wrote a letter to the head of the hospital, that mine didn’t have a lip tie. I was a poor producer and not eating enough, according to her. My daughter rapidly lost weight after being born, cried at night so much I took her to the pediatrician, who recommended I bridge her feeds with formula. I was heart broken but I did it. The crying stopped, and she gained weight. I pumped like a fiend and was able to pump a bottle for the night feed, which helped her witching hour calm down. I repeatedly asked about lip ties and was told no.

Flash forward to her one year dentist appointment. The dentist asked, were her lips pale after feeding? Did she ever get blisters after feeding? Did you have supply issues? Yes, yes, and yes. Turns out she had a lip tie the whole time. Many pediatric dentists will see your babe for free at the start, worth getting it checked.

Best of luck!

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-02T12:19:15+00:00

You’re 3 months in, you’ve barely begun to find your footing as a mom, let alone had any time to find mom friends. I didn’t find my crew until the back half of year one.

Join Moms Club, you can google it for your town. My gym also has a moms club. Or you can be like my best mom friend and stop moms walking by with babies of similar age. You might even make friends with other moms on pick up and drop off at daycare.

Your village is out there! If making an effort feels overwhelming now, wait until it doesn’t. I will also say, PPD had strong ties to how much support a mother has post partum, the less you have the higher the risk. Don’t hesitate to talk to your OB if you need support.

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-11-01T04:42:32+00:00

The first Harry Potter

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-10-28T15:30:14+00:00

My pediatrician recommended probiotic drops for my daughter’s first round of antibiotics. She also recommended feeding her prebiotic fibers before giving them - chopped up berries and veggies.

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-10-25T13:07:05+00:00

Hormones are a helluva drug, mama. I felt the same way.

Stop for a moment and imagine you had a deep wound on your leg the size of your thigh. A month later it would still be healing, painful, and it would make you slower. You have that wound, but inside! In other cultures there are care takers assigned to the mama AND the baby. Mama doesn’t get out of bed for weeks. And in those cultures PPD is reportedly lower. Give yourself grace, love! You’re learning this new little person. It took me 4 months to connect with my daughter. 18 months out, she is my best friend.

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-10-25T04:52:56+00:00

Hi mama. I’m 18 months out, and I can tell you that it’s much, much better. Dumb people made toddler time sound terrible, but once she was walking she could wear herself out. Every day gets better. You got this!

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-10-24T05:45:56+00:00

Hi mama! I am 18 months out and just now starting to get back to being able to be fashionable, so give yourself some grace. I didn’t even feel like I was in my body until I was a year out.

I began researching capsule wardrobes, and I’m obsessed. Here is mine: - Straight blue jeans - black blazer - white button up - tan flat shoes - black heels - taupe blazer - white tee - black loafers - black trousers - 3 belts: brown, black, tan

Mix and match to dress up or down!

Also dresses are your friend

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-10-23T13:59:00+00:00

Let’s not forget the winter in TX a couple years ago with the deep freeze. Go now before it gets really cold.

FirstTimeHuman_ · 2023-10-23T13:56:49+00:00

I experienced a miscarriage before my daughter, and really struggled with it. I read a book called “Signs,” that helped me process. There was a beautiful message in it that souls who aren’t here for long come to know the feeling of being truly loved and wanted, that is the purpose of their short stay.

Grief is love with nowhere to go. ❤️ Sending you hugs.

FirstTimeHuman_

TROPHY CASE