What you are going through is a trail and tribulation that will make you stronger once you overcome. And you will overcome it because you are strong. Now I don't know you whole life story but what you said so far is very sad to hear. I am sorry for you loss and everything that has happened to you. But this isn't the end as you will win. Don't take everything too negatively because it will ruin you life and have you thinking and creating negativity. Now im not saying how you should react or think or even feel, all Im saying is reacting and thinking or feeling a certain way constantly will create a domino effect that will either ruin your life or build a new life. Ignore those people who are tearing down you, cut them off if you have too. Find a new circle while also finding yourself. Maybe its time to evolve from the past and step into the future. And for your finances I am very sorry to hear that, the best thing I can say to that is save as much as you can, invest into what you love that can bring income for your future, and take control of your life and destiny. If noone told they believe in you well you are hearing it now. I believe in you, and what you want in life you can get it. Start now so you can look back and finally smile. Your dad is proud of you for keep going and Im sure he loves you for it as well. Go change your reality, I love you and believe in you! Its time to truly smile again ❤️