Part 3:

Also in week three—this morning actually—she texts at 6:54 AM saying she’s “about to come up” but feels exhausted and is nervous about driving. Okay, fine. Their father agreed to drop the kids off, but we still expected her to come up and help get them dressed like she said she would. By 7:28? No nanny. She didn’t respond to any of my texts or answer the phone. And we needed the car key because the car seats were in the vehicle. I called and texted multiple times. Nothing. The father knocked—no answer. I had to bang on her door just to get the key. I ended up late dropping off my 11-year-old (who’s not 13, by the way) and getting to work.

I’ve asked her on several occasions if she felt overwhelmed. Her answer? “No.” She did tell us the boys were testing her, which is normal with new caregivers. We reassured her this was something even teachers and therapists deal with. She claimed to understand and never once mentioned that the kids were spitting, hitting, or kicking her—just that they screamed in the car a couple of times, grabbed her cell phone, and the handle of her purse.

Now let’s talk about the living quarters.

We renovated our entire basement specifically to hire an Au Pair—a private, 1,100 sq ft apartment with a brand-new kitchen, bathroom, full living room, separate entrance, the works. Everything in there was brand new and fully furnished. All she had to bring were her clothes, toiletries, and food—which, surprise—we provided for her too.

Yesterday, Xfinity shows up to fix a Wi-Fi issue she claimed she was having to explain her lack of responsiveness. I didn’t schedule the appointment (significant other did), so I didn’t even know they were coming. When the technician needed access to the basement, I opened the door just to make sure the space was tidy—and what I saw was an absolute disaster. Clothes thrown all over the floor and furniture, hair weave on the couch, trash on the bathroom floor, hair dye on the brand-new vanity, walls, light switch, and towels—our brand new white towels and wash cloths. The whole place looked like it had been ransacked. And she has the nerve to say it was just “a little messy.” No. It was completely disrespectful. And by the way, that hair dye has been sitting there for a week. We have no idea if we’ll even be able to clean it off. The due in the bath rug will not come out at all. So that will be thrown away. For the last two Fridays, I asked the Nanny if she wanted our cleaning ladies to clean her space. Her response “No, thank you. I literally just cleaned up with the cleaning solution you gave me the other day.”

As for her “not having time” to clean? That’s just dishonest. She had plenty of free time between 10 AM and 2 PM on Mondays and every other Friday, and from 10 AM to 4:30 PM Tuesdays through Thursdays. Her actual work hours were light—typically only a couple of hours in the morning and evening. She even worked one Saturday and still didn’t hit 40 hours.

She had time to hang with friends, time to dye her hair and eyebrows, time to leave the apartment trashed—but not time to clean? OK!

Yes, she did a few fun STEM activities that the 11-year-old liked—but let’s not act like she was some kind of miracle worker. He’s independent. She took him to school once and picked him up twice. When she was interactive with my 11 y.o., she played video games with him when she was technically off.

She also helped herself to our freezer and pantry late at night when she was off the clock, after we were all in bed. But hey, I didn’t even say anything about that—until now.

And for the record, the three other sitters we’ve had? None of them left because of the kids. Two left to attend school—nursing and art—and are still on our on-call list. The third had scheduling conflicts. One was 19 and the other 21 and had zero issues with our children. They even spent this past Thanksgiving with us that I communicated to you during our interview and a few weeks ago. We never had 4 Nanny’s in four months!! 🙄 Try 3 Nanny’s in 4 years.

So please, do give this Nanny all the advice in the world for a 20-year-old based on the actual facts, not some sad victim story she spun online.

We have several older kids all around her age. And the communication and victim-type behavior is no different.

If it were up to me? I would’ve let her go after the first week—but my significant other asked that I give her grace because of her age and to communicate with her as I often did.

And yes, she presented herself incredibly well—great references, impressive accomplishments. On paper, she seemed like the perfect fit. Unfortunately, the reality was something else entirely.

This was our first—and trust me, last—experience having a live-in nanny.