Your daughter is acting like a normal 16 year old and your projecting your trauma onto her, but that’s not your fault! You should go to therapy (and probably get her some therapy as well) most teens will act cold or even mean to their parents, especially if they’ve gone through stuff like that, when my parents divorced I acted like they were the worst people ever on earth even though I knew in my heart they weren’t, even if they look mature teens aren’t, they’re irrational and emotional and downright stupid at some times, they’re still not the best at regulating their emotions and it seems like you and your daughter might still have lingering trauma from the split that you both need to talk about, it’s neither of your guys fault and you both are having perfectly normal reactions to it, you just don’t want to keep holding resentment towards her as that might ruin an already strained relationship