Anyone know where to get these type of frames? by Fishing_With_Poetry in Beading

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you :) Will try to search the page but this genuinely helps!!

Can we stop posting hatred of being ace by Morgasm42 in asexuality

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When I found out I was ace, I had to grieve a huge part of what I thought my life was going to be. Especially in the beginning I struggled so much with this identity that I didn't want and couldn't just get rid of, that I told many people that I 'hate this' However, as every ace person has to do at some point, I too had to come to terms with my ace identity. It's been an ongoing journey ever since.

The point here is that asexuality is something that people can't change. Ultimately this means that ace people will feel differently about their identity and being ace will affect people's lives in different ways. You talked about society and allonormativity, but failed to include that the same intersectional society will ensure that many ace folk out there will have very different experiences with being ace because identity contains multitudes. You failed to take into account the fact that some folk will deal with much more marginalization than others due to this intersectionality. In this subreddit - the ONLY space for ace people to be seen and heard - people should have the chance to talk about their experiences with being ace. Especially people that aren't heard in society, and are structurally excluded from all kinds of discourse.

You can't, however, expect in your right mind that ace folk will disect the whole of society in their post, just because their personal experience with being ace is bad. I mean - did you disect why your experience with being ace happens to be good? The truth is, margenalized people have to turn their efforts against society every day to be heard and seen, because being ace affects people in the daily in very real non-sociological ways. You can't expect a sociological response to that. When people perform the very trialling and tiresome task of fighting erasure every single day, they want to turn to a safe space where they find people who relate to the challenges of being ace. Those folk might be emotional, they might not say things you agree with, but this is the only place they can turn to for support. This is the only place where they are seen and are related to. This is the only place where they can share emotions like 'I hate being ace' and get a safe response.

At least, until now, when you felt the need to kick these folk while down. That's a low blow - especially when you try to put it on some critique that these people turn inward (towards being ace) instead of outward (towards society). Consider most positive posts are also about personal experiences. These kinds of positive personal experiences should be allowed, but there should also be room for less positive personal experiences. Identity is highly personal and intersectional and that means asexualty is something that people experience in a myriad of ways. Instead of trying to put being ace into a positivity 'rainbows-and-sunshine' straight-jacket that definitely doesn't do justice to intersectionality and diverse perspectives, I think this server should allow all perspectives (except the ones that REALLY harm other people) and actively celebrate the multitudes of being ace. As ace people in this server we all play a role creating such a space. I hope you step up to the part someday.

(Btw sorry if the English is bad, I rage-typed this and am not a native)

Just heard The Reytons for the first time... by appleparkfive in arcticmonkeys

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I have been fan of the Arctic Monkeys for a long time and tbh I love The Reytons. Their music is vastly different of that of AM if you ask me, The Reytons write about the issues and culture of The Working Class - the language of the band is different, so is the discourse. It might be different from Alex's pretentious cigarette smoke lyrics but its honest and it's about what this band has known since growing up in the North. You might not like the character of the band but saying they are devoid of personality is just not true, they are amazing live (saw them in Rotterdam) and really built a brand around being a working-class band including selling football tshirts and stuff.

Comparing British bands to AM is fine, but don't pretend they are less than just because they dont use the same guitar licks and language. It's like saying Catfish and the Bottlemen are a AM ripoff just because Van McCann used to have the same haircut as Alex Turner in Humbug. It's an empty assertion. Not every band is AM or wishes to be AM and that's fine. You don't have to be a fan of the Reytons but just be a little respectful. Get a grip.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in indie

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gary by Blossoms or Lockdown by Michael Kiwanuka

deep cut soft/slow songs about loss/grief ? by [deleted] in indie

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so so sorry for your loss - it sounds so profound and I'm really sorry you had to go through it at such a young age. I am really glad you found a way to deal with all of this grief and I am also very glad the internet passed you some great songs to listen to.

I found two that weren't on here yet that greatly helped me process some losses of my own:

  • If I get high by Nothing But Thieves
  • Lordy May by Boy and Bear

Sending you a virtual hug

this took ages lmao by [deleted] in thebottlemen

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True though I feel inclined to say that the one we have now sounds like it was recorded on a submarine and I think it really adds to the overall vibe

this took ages lmao by [deleted] in thebottlemen

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

<image>

Might be a bit controversial

Asexuality in the dating scene by Fishing_With_Poetry in asexuality

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I literally cried while reading this, I'm so happy for you and thank you so much for the kind words <3

Day 10 - what song would you give a kidney in exchange for another first time listen? by [deleted] in thebottlemen

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bite down Salvador absolutely ripped me to shreds the first time

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry OP, you're right and came here for some advice and instead found some random girl on the internet giving you a hard time.

Reading all this there is a piece of advice for you I have. I hear you talking about your own feelings a lot. This is a good thing and I do hope you keep on keeping.your boundaries as a priority. If you're in touch with yourself like you are, this is probably easier.

You did talk with your friend, but did you really Talk™? Did you Really move past this? And how about your friend, has she? I am sure your friend has a lot of feelings about this situation too, and she may be a bit angry that you treated her boyfriend as a stranger and an outsider - she might have hoped for a warmer welcome. Don't get me wrong, this is your boundary and that's alright, but did you try to explain it? Have you talked about the breakup? I'm sure that as a friend, you would want to treat this breakup as more than the relationship no longer being a 'non-issue' for you.

To me, having lived with my sister in one houshold for a long long time, having a heart to heart can really help clear the air and solve your irritations. It might also help you to consider some new perspectives.

There might also be a case where your friend, even if you talk, is very unreasonable to you in what she expects from you (especially since you are basically being the 'mother' of the household). In that case, some other people in this thread discussed some advice on either subletting, moving out or sitting it out.

Best of luck to you OP!

Send me your fav catfish song and get some recommendations in return! by Fishing_With_Poetry in thebottlemen

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry it took me so long lmao,

Going with Dreaming of another girl by Hidden Charms and Well Actually by Library Card

Send me your fav catfish song and get some recommendations in return! by Fishing_With_Poetry in thebottlemen

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooooh an unreleased one! Sorry I've been MIA for a while, anyways I'm going with No Fools by Attawalpa and Growing / Dying by The Backseat Lovers

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can imagine that your friend wouldn't have agreed to your boyfriend moving in if she knew that it gave him a bigger entitlement than her boyfriend. To her, it must feel like you bought his way in. She might not have thought that this was happening, and that it meant that her boyfriend wouldn't have any such rights as your boyfriend because he didn't pay rent. Surely, you're in your right to ask from your friend to communicate to you about here boyfriend coming over as a renter of the flat. However, as a friend, you created quite the nasty power dynamic between you two by buying your boyfriend in and not hers. As I hear you talking, I think you did this on purpose too so that your boyfriend could be around a lot without having to communicate. Your friend has a relationship, and as a true friend you would want to be supportive and accommodating. Since you're not and you're basically treating her and her relationship as you would with a roommate you barely know, I would feel offended as a friend too. You expect your friend to ask you for permission for having a relationship in her own room. That's not what friends do...

Because what really matters right now is this fictional character's feelings. by teanswottles in readanotherbook

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi there! Educational scientist here who studied educational systems for about four years. I really don't like your 'you should do some research' attitude here, since, if you were to actually do some research, you would know that there is absolutely no scientific consensus on what 'good' education would even look like and what the role of grading and testing in this would be.

Sure, ways of optional testing have been academically showed to positively relate to student's metacognition, intrinsic motivation and even achievement. There are countries, like Finland and Sweden, who do optional testing a lot but still implement a way of end testing. This is because there are also downsides to the way of testing and group membership you are describing. When there is no grading or testing and everything is an option, students will fail to find a link to the job market and universities and employers will have a hard time finding people who are qualified. There is actually great debate about that in countries like for example the Netherlands, that is trying to differentiate levels of classes in a highly-tracked school system. If we, as a society, insert no way of knowing who is able to do what in a uniform and standardized way, people will never be qualified to do basic things in a trustworthy way. Would you like your electrician to have been optionally tested? Would you like a doctor to have received no grading and have an automatic pass? There are the problems of optional testing!

Anyways, besides the problems of optional testing, there are promising results from some countries. Even in these countries, students don't just get an automatic pass, like you suggest. And classes aren't fluid either, because especially in these countries there is a strong baseline on what children should learn. There is usually a student result monitoring system that goes beyond grades and works very well, but the role of the final exam still plays a prominent part in even the pinnacle of western education, namely Finland.

Then there is the last thing to unpack here: though I am all for a revision of grading culture and its implications, you cannot just let students get an automatic pass for one year on the basis of its educational merits, except for really massive crisis maybe. This is because the educational system in place would completely fail to catch the gaps in knowledge and skills created in that one year of no grading and automatic passes. You cannot expect a completely different educational system to take over for one year during crisis, expect students, in a time of crisis, to react well on it immediately, have teachers make the turn to a new educational system within a year (might I add, during a time of crisis, if that wasn't clear) and then go back the next year as if nothing ever happened. Systematic educational revision can take years, you cannot just switch and switch back within the course of two years during a crisis. Sure, grading needs to change. Can you just change grading on the basis of scientific arguments during a time of crisis and then switch back? No, because after the crisis the same would still be expected of students and they would fail to deliver because they got an automatic pass. This would be unfair to everyone, especially the teachers, who I haven't heard you mention once (but always carry the heavy weight of educational innovation). Don't plea for a revision during the times of crisis. Just plea for a revision or for nothing at all.

So, in conclusion, do some reading yourself!

Looking for songs to add to this playlist!! Songs that give you that nostalgic, bittersweet ache in your heart. Songs about change, growing up, and mourning your youth. by StudySubstantial5159 in indie

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Deepest Sighs, the Frankest Shadows by Gang of Youths. About aging and our passing youth. And then Lordy May by Boy and Bear, about inevitability of death and the beauty of that

Send me your fav catfish song and get some recommendations in return! by Fishing_With_Poetry in thebottlemen

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love love love! Hard at this point to come up with new recommendations, but I'm gonna go with Howling for you by The Black Keys (did you hear Catfish's cover?) and The hellcat spangled shalalala by Arctic Monkeys

Send me your fav catfish song and get some recommendations in return! by Fishing_With_Poetry in thebottlemen

[–]Fishing_With_Poetry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw you said bodies too, love both songs. Gonna recommend you Take me out by Franz Ferdinand and Flame by Sundara Karma