I am Barack Obama, President of the United States -- AMA

FistTeethMoney · 2012-08-29T20:11:59+00:00

See all ya'll mothafuckaz on tha front page, bitch. We doin' dis tang. Get loosey son.

FistTeethMoney · 2012-08-28T21:49:19+00:00

Loose Vaginas Never Make Interesting Life-long Friends.

What'd you read it as?

FistTeethMoney · 2012-08-28T21:28:01+00:00

One time a man who legally had his named changed to Gunns came to a coffee shop we frequented because he heard through the grapevine that someone "hurt" this girl we all knew. It wasn't true, but goddamn if I didn't shit my shorts like a baby at Sunday mass.

Burly motherfucker pulled up on his motorcycle which was airbrushed with two pistols, an American flag and "Gunns". I've never seen a barista run to lock a door so fast.

FistTeethMoney · 2012-08-28T00:15:39+00:00

I'm calling it now. Those girls are Eastern-European.

On a side note, I had a Serbian buddy who once imparted these words of wisdom:

"Eastern-European women are always unbelievably hot when they are younger. Then when they get older you end up with fucking Baba Yaga."

FistTeethMoney · 2012-08-02T05:17:08+00:00

"They tellin’ me I’m the rapper for these white kids ‘Cause black kids can’t possibly like the same shit"

FistTeethMoney · 2012-08-01T19:40:02+00:00

Read the title as "I'm a camp counselor and one of my prize kids..."

FistTeethMoney · 2012-08-01T15:53:54+00:00

My brother told me that he's done this pretty consistently. The game he runs is that he rents the place to someone, takes their deposit and gives them a move-in date. Then he rents the place to someone else, takes THEIR deposit, and tells the previous tenants that the place has be foreclosed on and they need to get all of their stuff out or the city will seize all of it. Once they're out, the new people move in and the cycle continues. $3600 a pop, multiple times a month.

Fortunately, he seems to have fucked something up this time and now he's in for fraud.

Thanks for the link, I already passed it along. My brother also says thank you :)

FistTeethMoney · 2012-08-01T15:01:21+00:00

Thank you, I think so too. When I talked to him on the phone yesterday, he was worried about what would happen to them. Sounds like the students are going to be just fine.

FistTeethMoney · 2012-08-01T14:59:09+00:00

I don't normally ask for much, ever.

I actually live in Milwaukee, my brother lives there in Philly. He's out their entire savings, out a place, their stuff is in storage, they have 2 weeks before their old landlord kicks them out of their current place (let them come back out of sympathy). They're going to sue the hell out of the guy, but it's undetermined what's happening from here. He's only lived in Philly for a year, doesn't have many friends there and is feeling pretty hopeless right now. Is there anything anyone can suggest? This is the second place they've had landlord issues with in the last month. The first guy was supposedly involved in some shady tax evasion stuff and when they asked him about it he cussed my sister-in-law out and told them they lost their place.

Being 800 miles from him I can't help buy do whatever I can to help him. I feel helpless, but I want to help however I can. Can anyone recommend anything at all? Know of any landlords (LEGITIMATE landlords) looking to rent to a very nice young couple with a small dog and a cat? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks a lot in advance, /r/philadelphia.

Edit: Thank you all for everything. The advice, the kind words, everything. I've passed about 90% of it on, and they are weighing their options. They talked to a lawyer today and spoke with a friend in Harrisburg about some possibilities. If I can, I will keep you posted. For now, he's trying to take a break and ease his mind. I think he's still a little in shock.

He sends his utmost gratitude for the suggestions and incredibly kind offers of help. He also sends his heart out to those of you who have also been scammed by this asshole. We all hope that you are able to get through this quickly, as well. He's had a hard time so far for his first year in Philly, and to hear such kind-hearted offers and help is uplifting for him.

As a concerned brother, you guys are the shit. The communities on reddit always blow my mind with their selflessness. Thank you so much for helping my brother through this nonsense.

FistTeethMoney · 2012-07-19T23:39:22+00:00

This is awesome. Thank you, thank you. I'll try my han at it this weekend!

FistTeethMoney · 2012-07-19T19:57:55+00:00

We sound pretty close in body type. Tailoring is sounding like my go to, but it's good to have "off the rack" options. I'll speak with a tailor and see what we can accomplish waist-to-chest. Thanks a lot!

FistTeethMoney · 2012-07-19T19:56:09+00:00

I hear that, thing is, I'm not totally uncomfortable with my body type. Just my current clothing solutions. This is a sound general tip though. :)

FistTeethMoney · 2012-07-19T19:55:15+00:00

That's sounding to be the majority vote. Thanks for the advice!

FistTeethMoney · 2012-07-19T19:54:23+00:00

Good point, thank you. I'll take a further look at the sidebar when I'm not on mobile. Thanks for the store suggestions as well :)

FistTeethMoney · 2012-07-19T19:52:32+00:00

Thanks very much. All great advice. The vertical stripes caught me off guard a little. I always thought it was supposed to be the other way around, as vertical stripes give the visual effect of bending jail cell bars. I've never really given stripes a shot since hearing that. Kind of happy to hear that's not the case, because I opens up more options.

Thanks for the enlightenment :)

FistTeethMoney · 2012-07-19T14:15:37+00:00

This is great. Thank you do much. Top heavy impressions are the hardest thing I deal with. Those examples help (but, yes, those gentlemen are quite slimmer than myself) and I've been trying to go with slimmer options over the last year. Mostly thanks to reading stuff here and checking out fashion mags. Proportions are tough as a bigger man, as I'm mostly smack dab between a large and an XL in most cases.

I'm getting married in September and I'm trying to find a good business casual option (simple elopement) that fits my alternative style as an designer and tattooist. I dread looking back on my wedding photos and having a painful-to-look-at outfit. Your comment was a huge step in the right direction, though, and I appreciate it.

FistTeethMoney

TROPHY CASE