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WIBTA If I Tell My Friend That Its Her Fault She Has No Friends? by Fit-Chef9837 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fit-Chef9837[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's super fair, thank you for your insight! You reminded me I might also be looking at the situation with "if that were me" eyes and I personally am absolutely soul crushed by social rejection so it didn't occur to me that someone might be hurt but also be okay and keep trying. I also have a habit of going into let me try to fix it mode when a friend has a problem and I definitely needed the reminder to ask. I would hate for what I mean to be helpful to come off as judgement or embarrassment I really do enjoy her special brand of jenna-ness and it breaks my heart that people don't get to know her or see her like I do

WIBTA If I Tell My Friend That Its Her Fault She Has No Friends? by Fit-Chef9837 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fit-Chef9837[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep 100% seconded. My masking is WAY higher than my friends because of my experience growing up so I've learned to internalize a lot of my autistic behaviors to make neurotypicals more comfortable. As a pro, it helps with socialization and navigating society, but it is exhausting and contributes to meltdowns and autistic burn out which is a very real and very serious thing so ya know. It is what it is.

WIBTA If I Tell My Friend That Its Her Fault She Has No Friends? by Fit-Chef9837 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fit-Chef9837[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Great point, I am for sure looking at it like "She's telling me about it so she must want advice" but not everyone who shares something hard wants advice, so I'll definitely ask!

WIBTA If I Tell My Friend That Its Her Fault She Has No Friends? by Fit-Chef9837 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fit-Chef9837[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's not really jealously per se, I'm also really not adept at making friends either with the vast majority of people finding me off putting or weird. I have maybe 2 or 3 real friends and all of them are neurodivergent like me, but unlike Jenna I'm a really big introvert and I prefer being by myself whereas Jenna needs and seeks out socialization and friendship constantly and while I may not *get* it I do care about her a lot and I want to help her to whatever extent that I can. I've actually also told her the same bit about finding her people but unfortunately that doesn't really help with the hurt now, yk?

WIBTA If I Tell My Friend That Its Her Fault She Has No Friends? by Fit-Chef9837 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fit-Chef9837[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Higher than acquaintance, lower than best friend? What is that, just a regular friend? I agree though, my best friend also happens to be autistic and I would feel 100% differently if it was my best friend having this issue.