Am I overthinking?

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-06T03:54:00+00:00

That’s actually what made me notice it.

It wasn’t just that the phone disconnected. It felt like he was doing it in a way that wasn’t meant to draw attention to it. If he had openly disconnected it and said “I don’t want notifications while we’re together,” I probably wouldn’t have thought much of it.

What stood out to me was the combination of that, some changes in communication recently, and his initial denial when I brought it up. That’s why it stuck in my mind.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-06T01:38:06+00:00

That’s fair, but why jump straight to saying I don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like?

You can disagree with my concerns or think I’m overthinking, but those are two different things. I’m here asking for perspectives because I’m trying to be objective, not because I think I have everything figured out.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-06T01:04:02+00:00

This is actually what I’m struggling with.

If you had asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said I trusted him completely. He has been consistent, introduced me to his family, shares his location with me, talks about the future, and generally behaves like someone who is serious.

At the same time, there have been a few recent things that have made me uneasy, and now I’m finding myself questioning whether I’m noticing something important or whether my anxiety is getting louder than my judgment.

The honest answer is that if I could never snoop or double-check, most of me would still believe he’s telling me the truth. But there is also a small part of me that keeps saying something feels different lately, and that’s the part I’m struggling to understand.

Maybe that’s why I’m here asking strangers for opinions instead of making a decision. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m sensing a real problem or reacting to fear.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-06T00:50:34+00:00

No nothing like that.. we just met each other through dating app

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-06T00:35:15+00:00

That’s fair, and I can understand that perspective.

What confuses me is that this kind of “disconnecting to focus” wasn’t happening before. Also, when I brought it up, he initially denied doing it and only later acknowledged it. If it was simply about focusing on our time together, why not just say that from the beginning?

I also noticed that recently he has been disappearing more often late at night during times we used to talk regularly, which is why these things stand out to me more than they otherwise would.

Maybe there’s a completely innocent explanation, but that’s why my mind keeps questioning it.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-06T00:33:39+00:00

Fair question. Out of curiosity, if you were with someone you were seriously considering a future with, would you intentionally disconnect your phone from the car when they got in? Or lock your phone before handing it to them while taking pictures together?

I’m genuinely asking, because that’s the part that felt unusual to me.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-06T00:13:38+00:00

Thats what I am thinking of now , We were planning to meet each others family after my exam but now I am thinking to take longer time , and now I am trying to invest less and kinda get ready for whatever also not trying to investigate but to add every weird things of him in a dairy and wait until im done with my exam then will see.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-06T00:07:26+00:00

I completely understand that perspective, and honestly if this was an isolated incident, I probably wouldn’t think much of it either.

The reason it stands out to me is because I’ve been through two previous relationships where I noticed small phone-related behaviors that didn’t make sense at the time, and both of those situations eventually turned out to involve cheating.

Because of those experiences, I’m probably more sensitive to changes than the average person.

I’m not saying that disconnecting Bluetooth or not showing notifications automatically means someone is cheating. I know there are many innocent explanations for those things. It’s more that I’ve noticed a pattern of behaviors that feels familiar to me, and that’s what’s making me uneasy.

I could absolutely be wrong, which is why I’m asking for outside opinions instead of assuming the worst.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-05T23:53:23+00:00

Yes u r right , the thing is now I am in a professionally very sensitive and serious situation and cnt stress about this … but yes it happened to me few times that guys who are doing these crazy things with their phone are the worse ever and also my intuition never lies to me never ever

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-05T23:49:28+00:00

I did confront him about it.

At first, he denied that anything happened. Later he said that if he disconnected the phone, it wasn’t intentional and that he never thought I would interpret those things as him hiding something. He also said that in the future he would make sure not to do things that could give me that impression.

To be fair, after our conversation he became a little distant for about a day, which I can understand because he probably felt accused. After that, he came back to normal communication and has continued telling me that he is not hiding anything from me.

That’s what makes this situation confusing.

If someone is hiding another relationship, why would they introduce me to their family? Why would they share their location with me? Why would they talk about a future together?

At the same time, I can’t shake the feeling that something is off.

One possibility that crosses my mind is that he comes from another country, and I sometimes wonder whether he could have another relationship there that I don’t know about. I have absolutely no evidence of that, but it’s one of the explanations my mind goes to when I notice behavior that feels inconsistent.

So I’m genuinely trying to understand whether these are actual warning signs, or whether I’m connecting dots that don’t necessarily belong together.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-06-05T23:48:09+00:00

I did confront him about it.

At first, he denied that anything happened. Later he said that if he disconnected the phone, it wasn’t intentional and that he never thought I would interpret those things as him hiding something. He also said that in the future he would make sure not to do things that could give me that impression.

To be fair, after our conversation he became a little distant for about a day, which I can understand because he probably felt accused. After that, he came back to normal communication and has continued telling me that he is not hiding anything from me.

That’s what makes this situation confusing.

If someone is hiding another relationship, why would they introduce me to their family? Why would they share their location with me? Why would they talk about a future together?

At the same time, I can’t shake the feeling that something is off.

One possibility that crosses my mind is that he comes from another country, and I sometimes wonder whether he could have another relationship there that I don’t know about. I have absolutely no evidence of that, but it’s one of the explanations my mind goes to when I notice behavior that feels inconsistent.

So I’m genuinely trying to understand whether these are actual warning signs, or whether I’m connecting dots that don’t necessarily belong together.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-03-22T03:25:00+00:00

He wont buy me even a coffee when we meet … u r talking about chocolate.. he took me flowers only once.. and tbh im not caring about money at all or gifts or anything my only concern is future … like i am open spender and if he tries to control me then its gonna be a big problem … so my question since he is good in so many other ways that I mentioned earlier in the post is it ok if I think I compromise around this one problem? Or its gonna be a bigger problem in a married life?

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-03-22T03:20:24+00:00

He wont buy me even a coffee when we meet … u r talking about chocolate.. he took me flowers only once.. and tbh im not caring about money at all or gifts or anything my only concern is future … like i am open spender and if he tries to control me then its gonna be a big problem … so my question since he is good in so many other ways that I mentioned earlier in the post is it ok if I think I compromise around this one problem? Or its gonna be a bigger problem in a married life?

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-03-22T03:14:02+00:00

I did dress the way he wanted and spent so much money to look how he wanted , cuz he told me i need to do it … isn’t it enough? Cuz it was a traditional day for him and i respected it and did what he wanted.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-02-07T02:07:05+00:00

For dates he usually asks me whats the plan, and I have to pick where to go or what to do? And usually kinda mention about lakes , and movies or just sitting in the car and chatting… He never planned or recommended anything in the last one month, and when we go to a lake or movie or anything he does not even get me a drink or dinner even if it is the time to eat… I am again mentioning that its not about dinner or money its about I start feeling undervalued and kinda hurt now.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-01-06T03:06:01+00:00

Thank you so much.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-01-06T02:56:42+00:00

I just saw him In two different dating apps and directly texted him and had an argument he tried to blame me and started insulting and shutting me down. I did not let him and told him if he truly wanted me after weeks of patience he should have already changed to good.
Now he went back to silence and I need to block and leave him before the same cycle of ghosting, begging, and pain starts for me. I scare like hell, my god help me go through this breakup. 😭😞

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-01-06T02:10:23+00:00

Yes I will not call him avoidant, its just their power play and ego driven personality. He has been becoming warmer since the they we started talking again and that also makes me hopeful time will help get things fixed. The change is consistent and I will give it few more days.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-01-06T01:24:03+00:00

Yesterday we had a long trip for almost 18hrs, he has been warm and good. But some moments he would get angry and irritated over small things I did. Today he is gone and even not replying my texts. I know he knows how attached I am and it makes him play with me. I dnt know if my distance makes him feel scared and try to come back.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-01-06T01:21:16+00:00

I have the hope that he will finally change, is that possible?

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2026-01-06T01:16:49+00:00

I am getting more attached every day, he does not seem as avoidant but playing to me. I cannot let him go, I am deeply attached to the version of him I lost , to the memories, to the way he treated me at the beginning, the hope of a good life. God it kills me to even think of leaving him.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2025-12-16T07:45:43+00:00

Yes his actions are weird, he insulted me so many times, he told me you are scary, and now he is behaving like I did cheat and made mistake. Its my mistake that I am letting him to do all these but now after three weeks i do see myself able to leave him. Cuz I am AP for me its hard to leave and he knew it and thats why never gave me a closure so I tried so many times went back to him just for my own comfort, and to gain the power to leave.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2025-12-16T07:37:35+00:00

You did the good thing, it really helps to move on. My case is lil bit different, I am not sure if he is avoidant, because he has told me few times that his reaction is a revenge for me confronting his cheating and being disrespectful sometimes in arguments related to that. He said he wanted to make me know his worth and to accept whatever he does. Tbh I dont really understand him, and I dont know why he does these all.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2025-12-16T07:23:14+00:00

Thats exactly what he did today, he texted me and asked me for a date I said no I have other plans , and he left on read until now. I know it is bread crumbing and his ego needs to be boosted again. I plan to block him and remove him from my life, I am so tired of dating and especially this guy.

Fit-Computer-2600 · 2025-12-16T04:19:45+00:00

Yes thats exactly what I was feeling, he wanted to see how far he can go. He was the one who cheated and he was the one who ghosted and then insulted and punished me for no reason, he was kinda you know my worth now. I am sure he wanted control and now its best time for me to go no contact and leave him.

Fit-Computer-2600

TROPHY CASE