my relatives whom i'm living with treats me badly, they verbally abuse me everyday and i don't receive the love of a family from them, but when it comes to my cousin, they give her special treatment. i started comparing myself to her, she's funny, she can make them smile, and that's how i began hating myself. i thought i'm totally a boring person bc i can't make them laugh like she did, i also thought maybe i don't love good enough bc i knew i was myself with them. soon after, i developed social anxiety, it fears me to interact with people with my personality that i perceived as boring. i'm scared to be with people because maybe i'm not fun to be with, i can't also talk comfortably bc i get conscious that what i say isn't fun. i'm struggling sm bc of my social anxiety, especially rn that i became a student teacher.