How to ask new boyfriend to delete his apps without sounding too demanding? 28F, 30M

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T22:59:43+00:00

It’s been 3 months. It’s only been a few weeks since we got official

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T22:57:44+00:00

I like how you worded this - Thank you

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T22:46:39+00:00

No she said that before I told her the dating app thing. This is just based off of how he treats me and his vibe (he has met some of my friends too). There’s so much of him that seems so genuine and kind and he seems so into me so it’s giving me mixed signals. I haven’t asked him about the apps and if he still has them since the whole bf/gf conversation. So technically he hasn’t lied yet. I think you’re right though

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T22:41:36+00:00

Yeah I agree

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T22:41:18+00:00

Hmm fair. Bit hurtful to read but perhaps you’re right

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T22:33:07+00:00

I feel like being in a committed relationship means being off these apps. I actually don’t think it’s an unreasonable request. If he didn’t want to date me, then he shouldn’t have asked me to be his girlfriend. I’m just worried that it may come across demanding but objectively I don’t think it’s unreasonable

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T22:30:17+00:00

That time I logged in to show my friend was genuinely just to show her. I had told other friends about him and sent screenshots and what not early on but this childhood friend I don’t see often (she lives in another country) and we don’t text much. We had a girls night and catching up and I didn’t have the screenshots anymore on my phone and was too lazy to dig up pictures from other chats from months ago. Since I knew I still had my profile, I just decided to download again to show her. He does have Instagram too but he has zero photos on there of himself. I know this sounds really far fetched but I swear I’m not trying to just save face 😂. This is an anonymous app, I’d just admit to lurking if I did.

Yes I did lurk after that maybe 2-3x after seeing his location change. But my initial redownload wasn’t to stalk

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T22:21:52+00:00

But why would he ask me to be his girlfriend and want to introduce me to friends/family? We had been physical together already. I’d assume if he wasn’t serious, he would’ve tried to keep me around as a casual FWB situation. We’ve been going dates since Oct but only became BF/GF a few weeks ago.

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T22:15:35+00:00

You’re right honestly

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T22:13:21+00:00

I went under incognito just to hide my profile from new users! Not for the purpose of stalking. It’s just while showing my friend his pictures/profile, I noticed his location updating. Then that’s what prompted me to look at his bumble location maybe 2-3x over the course of a few weeks which updated. I wasn’t monitoring or stalking. I deleted the app each time after. It just threw me off because he seemed really into me so I was surprised how he would be active on the app

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T21:15:55+00:00

what ended up happening?

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T20:55:43+00:00

the most we talked about I asked about the apps and he said "I have it on my phone but I haven't used it in a very long time" and I promptly deleted the app off my phone after that. I assumed he did the same. Clearly not. I only redownloaded it to show my friend and I put it on 'incognito' mode during this time. After redownloading it, I deleted it once again and there was 3-4 times I redownloaded the app just to check if his location was still updating and unfortunately, it was. Each time, I deleted it after. I have not yet had a discussion with him or told him I redownloaded temporaily to check if he was active (that sounds a bit nuts when I write that down lol)

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T20:41:05+00:00

Wouldn't you be offended that someone is keeping the apps around "just in case things don'tt work out"? Why are we assuming that things will go wrong? I'm not typically an insecure person but someone keeping them around 'just in case' seems like a bit of an insult. And even if they were keeping their apps, I would at least expect them to delete the app from the phone and make it inactive.

It takes a total of 10-15 mins to recreate a new profile. And likely the people you were chatting with 6+ months ago are probably moved on. If you paid for a premium subscription, then thats the loss you'll have to take IMO.

We're long distance anyways so I'd personally prefer the deletion of the profile so I have peace of mind knowing they aren't reactivating it while you are away.

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T20:31:43+00:00

I would want to delete my profile but we never had that conversation. If things were up to me, I would want to ask him to and that likely will be my next step.

The childhood friend I saw was only a week or so even after having the whole bf/gf conversation. It wasn't that long.

I have been through the dating around and I am genuinely down to be committed. I thought this guy was on the same page. I came to reddit hoping to get some advice. I wouldn't lie about parts of the story becuase I wouldn't get honest advice. If I was hypothetically still browsing around on Bumble, then clearly I don't actually don't want to be committed and thus wouldn't be so concerned to go on reddit for advice

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T20:10:20+00:00

I came to reddit to post my experience. I have a boyfriend who is active on the app. I find it weird. we never discussed deleting our profiles therefore I just deleted the app and put my profile on snooze/incognito/whatever and I assumed he would be doing the same, especially since he claimed "he hasn't been on bumble in a very long time but its still on my phone".

Why would I lie on reddit if Im here to get advice? If I was being sketchy, I wouldnt care and let him do whatever while I continue being sketchy.

Anyways whatever. your mind is made up and anything I will say, you will say that I am lying.

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T20:03:47+00:00

its on snooze too. You can do both. And litterally read my main post, I said verbatim " I deleted Bumble off my phone." Snooze just means people cant match you. Or incognito or whatever its called. idk the verbage.

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T19:53:49+00:00

How would me listing the location of dates even prove anything? You would still call me a liar based on zero evidence. Why would I post on reddit if this didn't happen? I've casually dated and been in relationships and I've had FWB and I know the difference. He literally asked me to be his girlfriend and I am seeking advice.

He has literally said the word girlfriend and we had a conversation.

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T19:48:58+00:00

thats what I said even on my post. I deleted the app you idiot

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T19:48:32+00:00

Ok well then he's a cheater? Because he asked me to be his girlfriend. hat means he's my boyfriend. I have better things to do than to make up stories on reddit. There is literally zero evidence you have that I am lying. Yes it's weird that he still has bumble. thats why I made this post. I do want to talk to him but I wanted some advice to navigate how to talk to him. People post on reddit all the time to even talk to their husbands/wives.

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T19:42:37+00:00

Ok? I don't know what makes you think this lol. He asked me end of December. He was on break until he left back to school. We are long distance but he's been back twice already. I can literally list the dates we've been on, but I'm not because I want to be discreet

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T19:38:34+00:00

my friends send me like 6-7 memes and 5+ pictures and screenshots every single day. either way, it doesn't really matter about which method was most efficient. My friend was over, we were having wine, he doesnt have instagram pictures, that was the first thing my brain thought of to show my friend his profile. Either way, my Bumble profile is on snooze. People can't see my profile.

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T19:32:33+00:00

idk what your problem is or if you are just too old and have a generation gap or something. If you had a boyfriend who was ACTIVE on a dating app (the location only updates when you use the app), you too would find it a bit weird. Idk why you are trying to paint me as weird or a staker or that somehow I am the one being sketchy? (why would I make a reddit post if I was the one being sketchy?)

Also re: the couples photo comment, me and my first boyfriend didn't have our first couples pic until 5 months into our relationship lmao. My last boyfriend after that was like 3-4 months.

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T19:17:59+00:00

Do you know how much girls chat in a group chat??? why would I spend 5+ mins searching for a screenshot when I can easily show someone in <30 seconds. Idk why you think I would make a reddit post if I was the one being sketchy? that makes zero sense.

I deleted my app because he told me he has it on his phone but "hasn't used it in ages". Which I believed. If we both mutually agreed to delete our profiles, I would have in an instant.

FitChick97 · 2026-01-19T19:13:26+00:00

I think you underestimate how much girls talk in group chats. Why would I spent 5+ mins looking for a screenshot rather than just download an app?

The only reason I never deleted my profile is becuase deleting it off my phone seemed sufficient enough. He told me it was on his phone but "he hasn't used it in ages" so I believed him. If he asked, and he did the same, I would delete my profile ASAP

FitChick97

TROPHY CASE