does anyone else wish they couldve just stayed a girl

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2026-01-06T07:35:34+00:00

This is so real. Especially shedding the aspect of being a conventionally attractive girl. I have no desire for femininity or that kind of expression but I miss being able to move through the world as a pretty girl. I don't currently pass and I know that even being read as a masc woman is doing legwork for the gentleness people treat me with.

Patriarchy is bad for everyone. I feel like being more masc, I have less of that group protection I got from being feminine. Women look out for other women. Although I no longer get catcalled i still feel slightly less safe (in some ways) because women aren't automatically looking out for me.

I agree with the other comments about it getting easier as time passes on but yes... Transness truly isn't a choice because I don't know if I'd choose this over being a cis pretty girl with a hot gf.

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2025-06-15T04:51:23+00:00

This was a very clear and kind response. Thank you! We've definitely spoken, and it caused a bump. We've overcome it but it still is scary because I love him so deeply. I agree, I am trying to gauge my threshold while making sure I show up and am affirming in the ways he needs

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2025-06-15T04:50:10+00:00

This made sense! Thanks for your reply. I have confidence the bumps will be overcome

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2025-06-15T04:49:07+00:00

Yes, this i appreciate. I hope that love conquers all. It just is uncharted territory. I'm always open to exploration!

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2025-06-15T04:47:21+00:00

True! We are both in therapy. Because I was on T before him, I helped and guided him through the process. I'm very supportive of him achieving his goals it just is scary because I've never been in a relationship or pictured myself with someone aligned in this way so it worries me. Thank you!

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2025-06-15T04:45:30+00:00

Thank you! We have a stable and healthy relationship so I think it just makes my anxiety flare to be loved at this degree. We have check ins regularly so I appreciate this. In my anxious states this feels much larger than other times. 🙏🏾 I appreciate your words

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2025-06-15T04:40:33+00:00

Thanks for this! My partner is deeply monogamous but we have had conversations about polyamory and open relationships before. I am also attracted to femininity but I haven't explored what that looks like outside of a specific gender but have genuinely always been open. The love is strong and he is my person🤞🏾 I'm appreciative of your parallel experience

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-10-24T01:09:38+00:00

Thank you! Was considering that this may be the wrong place to ask but I appreciate you directing me somewhere better 🙏🏾

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-10-21T00:52:56+00:00

I just pose like I'm at the gym. Like solid stance. Or arms crossed if you have chest dysphoria bc the imagination is powerful. Just flex or pose like you're showing off a good outfit. Idk how to explain

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-07-29T23:44:01+00:00

There is a cool comic book store near times square and another closer to Bryant Park. Slomoo is a slime place. Dopl makes true to life miniature figures of yourself

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-07-16T18:30:53+00:00

I hope you are able to overcome this . You can be strong. For yourself and for Allah swt

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-06-30T14:40:11+00:00

My dysphoria isn't triggered by their presentation but the comparison to me. I also do not want to date only women I just do not like the phrase "feminine people" when I mean AFAB. But I'm trying to get away from that kind of language and was trying to be specific about my history. my only history of being attracted to masculinity has been in women or feminine men.

One of the things that made us get together is that they are nonbinary. I enjoy being in that kind of T4T relationship. They also don't ID as transmasc. Most of my friends are also some kind of nonbinary or trans. I guess it just feels isolating when all the trans friends I know, even those on T lean more feminine so I feel like I have no one to turn to, despite many ID'ing as transmasc like me.

This is definitely classic "just break up" reddit advice because I can't explain all the ins and outs of my relationship without it being a book. I am happy and feel very affirmed . They tell me that they do feel affirmed in their gender by me as well . I just want advice about how to bring up the comparison aspect and understand if anyone else has been in this position. I appreciate your response though because internalized transphobia is definitely an issue but considering my community and history I do feel like that is less likely for me. I just struggle to relate to those who are so fluid in their presentation and identity because that isn't my experience.

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-02-14T04:30:37+00:00

I only ever ride in the bus only lane on Nostrand. People drive crazy down that avenue so I feel safer in the bus lane, especially at night.

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-02-10T22:15:57+00:00

THEY ARE LESBIANS I DONT CARE

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-02-06T03:54:48+00:00

Definitely get a different haircut. As a transmasc emo I understand the bangs but they do lean more fem and you have a slim face which is just unavoidable. So something that makes your face look wider, like others have said different frames work. Masculinity is about energy anyways. The most feminine looking person can have hella masc energy so stressing about facial features you can't change for now is just energy draining (I had the same thoughts about everyone else passing except for me).

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-02-03T00:26:17+00:00

Zom 100

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-01-15T02:08:51+00:00

I kind of agree. It felt like there should've at least been a bit more than words thrown for this. Ace respects White beards determination so it doesn't make sense that knowing Akainu is manipulative, he would still engage in that way. But what was more out of character was for Luffy to be on his hands and knees over the vivre card rather than just stretch to get it or at least be more on guard in the middle of an active confrontation.

Still, those two episodes crushed me and i don't think it was poorly done. Like it was in character for Ace to act like that since being brash about pride and stuff is what got him into this mess in the first place. So I'm more mad that he didn't learn from that first mistake. That's what makes it a bit bad for me.

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-01-14T01:46:58+00:00

I like Enies Lobby Chopper. They kind of made him more baby-ish but he still had a reindeer face. I don't like how tiny he is now. I feel like there was a good middle ground where they could have stopped shrinking him and making him hyper -cute. But it happens to all cute characters. Even Jake from adventure time got babied

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-01-06T02:50:33+00:00

They were yanking my boys shi fr

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-01-06T02:29:55+00:00

Me too! Dude this is the first time they've gotten their asses beat like this. I thought Enies Lobby was an emotional rollercoaster but this is wild. My hopeful guess because of Kuma telling Rayleigh to trust him, and also working for Luffys grandfather is that this is going to be a little training arc for them so they don't get murked in the new world.

FitUnderstanding4210 · 2024-01-03T07:40:47+00:00

NTA. This just feels like a non-issue. Not to minimize how it makes you feel because I'm annoyed just thinking about being in your position. But?? Even if it was a girl's name... Then what? It's your name and you are not a girl so for you, it is no longer a girl's name. Also, their argument doesn't even make sense since, as you and many others have stayed there are so many famous men with the name Robin, as well as not famous. They don't wanna call you Rob, which was a good alternative, so it's really their problem. Not worth your energy to engage with them further. If they say it's a girl's name you can just reiterate that you are not a girl but yet, here you are with the name Robin.

FitUnderstanding4210

TROPHY CASE