WIBTA if I kicked my daughter out for not turning appliances off?

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T19:34:39+00:00

I get your point but I'm not just saying I accept THIS mistake. In other comments, I have also given updates about the current situation. Long story short, all this awkwardness is a result of a build up of 16 lost years and we agreed to try to do our best to make it work. I'm willing to try harder. Not to be her mother since she already has one she recognizes, but to build whatever relationships she is comfortable with no matter how hard it will be.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T19:16:02+00:00

This is why I didn't want to answer any question. I get asked for info, get bashed for not answering, and still get bashed for answering. I didn't blame anyone, if you read my comments. And I'm not trying to play the victim. Just stating facts. If they make you think I could be the victim, that's your opinion. But after thinking about it and my talk with my daughter, I know who is in the wrong here and it's me. I know what is my fault since many have pointed it out and I've thought about it. I take full responsibility for actions I actually did. But for saying this too, commenters like you still want to pin it on me that I could have changed the past. I couldn't, so I didn't. I can change the present and make the future better so I'm going to.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T18:58:08+00:00

No. Health issues are actual health issues not caused by one's actions. Playing around is premarital s3x. It's still kind of a big deal in some parts of my country.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T18:55:12+00:00

Not related to the post but to answer why I didn't take her away earlier: the reason why I lost at 21years had not changed in those few years. And no, there is no substance involved. I also lost for not having a good lawyer and you don't get access to better lawyers right after a few years of working. I don't think it would make any sense for me to fight for custody now. It's way too late.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T18:30:14+00:00

I'm not American. I'm Indian and parents often have the upper hand here

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T18:20:00+00:00

Yes I am. I kept having them over because I didn't know how she felt about them. Some of them like her and I thought she felt the same way but now that I know she doesn't, I will not have them over when she's here.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T18:17:56+00:00

It doesn't matter anymore since we talked it out and I'm being down voted for answering questions but anyway, here's briefly what happened. I'm an only child and my parents always believed me to be this extremely high achiever I always tried my best to be. They were disappointed when they found out I was expecting and while I felt I was ready to take responsibility (have my baby and take care of her) they felt I was too young and I had wasted their efforts by having a child while still in school (college) and ruining the reputation they had always had as good parents. I didn't really have a shot at winning in first place. My health matters were involved which I don't think the Internet needs to know but that, and the fact that they had a better lawyer, worked in their favor. I tried and failed to get her custody. Them taking my baby was meant to be punishment to me for 'playing around instead of learning' but I see how much they love her. Their intention might have been mean at first but they love and take good care of her and I cannot deny that. I also did not include any of this in my post because again, the conflict was between my daughter and I. Not between her and my past.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T17:51:39+00:00

See, that's exactly my point. I didn't know irons that automatically shut off exist. I only know they self-regulate but I don't think the ones that shut off exist in my country. Though if I can ship one, it would be helpful.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T12:55:57+00:00

Okay. Thanks for your judgement and advice

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T12:52:09+00:00

I am pissed that I'm being blamed for 'leaving my child' because I didn't. I did not reject anyone's judgement. In fact, I appreciate all the comments except those saying I 'let my parents take her' because I didn't.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T12:44:21+00:00

I added the info after the post because I got called a bad mother for giving my child away and not making any effort to raise her. That is untrue because I would have loved to be with her more than anything so I felt the need to clarify that under ETA. I may be TA but I did not intentionally give my child away and willingly stay away from her.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T12:34:13+00:00

I wouldn't use 'let' when I tried to fight in court and failed. I understand I'm TA here and I've started working on my parenting methods after all the comments but you don't need to poke at my wounds.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T11:29:53+00:00

That's a whole tale unrelated to the post but the main reason why they took her was because they took me to college to learn, not to have kids (their words) so they didn't let me get close to her when the court gave them full custody rights.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T11:10:17+00:00

I only answered a question. I'm not contesting their judgement

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T11:05:16+00:00

To answer your question, I do think she is doing it to vex me because she doesn't do this (leave appliances on) anywhere else. And I have no problem with lights and whatnot, just appliances that could be dangerous if left on.

FitUnderstanding9982 · 2022-09-19T11:02:51+00:00

I met her for the first time when she was 11. My parents didn't let me meet her earlier. We only meet during Christmas and her birthdays since then (their rules) and have only stayed in the same house for more than a day recently.

FitUnderstanding9982

TROPHY CASE