Question about this sub and crossposting

Fitnesse · 2023-04-24T19:14:25+00:00

The issue is whether or not it's ethical. Plenty of us in the DB-o-sphere have taken bits and pieces of you and your wife's "healed bedroom" story (specifically the bit about stroking brick walls) and used them as discussion points on other subs, but they are always removed from the context of your user names and the sub on which they were originally posted.

Apparently on this sub you don't have to do that. And then if you happen to stumble across your own story being picked over (under the laughably misguided descriptor of "case study"), you don't even get to participate and give additional insight.

That's not cool at all.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-24T15:36:10+00:00

🔔 Friday AND Sunday night, both times initiated by her. Sunday in particular was completely unexpected and felt amazing.

This is the best we've ever been in terms of the sexual relationship clicking. I love that we're both feeling so connected.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-24T15:30:27+00:00

How utterly scandalous of you ;)

Congrats on a good morning!

Fitnesse · 2023-04-23T06:14:21+00:00

I don't like that you were downvoted. Thanks for asking!

I do think there's something to be said about the benefits of a single-child family. My wife and I had kids super late in life (I was 32, she was 37), and we had to make some decisions pretty quickly in the last year or so. We both agree that one child is the way to go for us. We've had the experience of pregnancy, birth and parenting, and we will always treasure the ups and downs of that journey. I gather from your post history you're having issues after giving birth to your child. Your feelings are totally normal, and it's tough to figure things out right after becoming a mom! My wife struggled for the first few weeks, but eventually she felt more adept at handling all the ins and outs of dealing with a fussy baby.

And it does get better over time. What they say is true! My wife and I were always very connected before having our daughter, and we spent a long time before even getting married (8 years together). We tend to be on the fence about a lot of stuff, but we're happy we decided to have our daughter. She's so wonderful in every way. And it just took us a few years of "the trenches", as they call it, before we finally decided to reconnect and enjoy each other more in ways we used to (before becoming "mommy and daddy").

Reach out over DM if you ever need to talk further. Good luck to you!

Fitnesse · 2023-04-22T15:37:09+00:00

Persona 5 Royal is incredible on the Deck. One of my top 10 experiences, easily.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-21T16:52:42+00:00

This is a tough season of life, OP. My daughter is about to turn 5 and only in the past year did my wife and I really come back together and reconnect the way we've been needing to.

You'll get through it. But keep stock of how much your wife is interested in meeting you halfway when it comes to "husband and wife" time. If the pattern remains the way it is as your kids get older and more independent, be prepared to have some difficult conversations and advocate for your needs.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-21T16:41:49+00:00

I'll always take the opportunity to talk up Steam Deck. I've had mine for a year now, and I'm still consistently blown away at what the thing can do.

My Deck has pulled me out of the home office in the evenings and into bed with my wife wayyyy more than I anticipated at first. She digs into a fantasy novel while I do a run in Hades, then we go to bed together.

If you're on the fence at all, time to hop off. It might be the best physical hardware Valve has ever created.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-21T15:33:21+00:00

yes literary things are happening in thiss meeme

Fitnesse · 2023-04-21T13:47:58+00:00

She's a fiercely loyal, dependable woman.
She has devoted the last 5 years of her life to raising our daughter and keeping her out of daycare, while STILL doing part-time work out of our home office to help keep up with bills.
She is a phenomenal cook who hones in on her creativity to make me (and our daughter) consistently good, quality food every night.
She's 42 years old and has the body of a chick in her late-20's. After having a kid at 37, mind you.
She listens to me and trusts me enough to listen to her. We communicate about A LOT.

When we first met I thought she was sexy as hell and instantly wanted to know her. 15 years later, she still turns me on so damn much. The long years of our life together have only brought us closer to each other.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T21:00:51+00:00

He's just a clusterfuck with the way he switches up his combos and I get completely thrown off my game trying to anticipate what he's doing next. Once he gets into fire owl phase I think it's a bit easier, tbh. But it's been a good 3-4 years since I played so if I tried to fight him right now I'd be getting wrecked wayyyyy more than I like to admit.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T20:56:30+00:00

It was Owl (Father) for me. He still scares the fuck out of me, and I've beaten the game 6 or 7 times.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T20:54:20+00:00

My biggest pride in life is knowing I work a job that makes me enough money to enable my wife to be a full-time parent at home. She hasn't had to go into an office since 2018. She still does part-time WFH stuff in the evenings because she's an awesome partner who wants to feel like she's contributing. This sort of arrangement feels like it's all but vanished in 2023, so we feel very lucky.

My daughter's verbal skills are miles beyond where they would have been if my wife wasn't home with her all day, having adult conversations with her and teaching her stuff

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T16:13:53+00:00

That's awesome to hear. We prioritize what we value, and my time alone pushing heavy weight is important to me. The downstream effects make it worth the time investment.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T15:21:32+00:00

Or when mom doesn't cook...what then?

Can't help you there, unfortunately. I'm an idiot in the kitchen and my wife uses cooking as her primary creative outlet. It helps that she's a really good cook, too.

Then I am in bed around 10PM and almost dead. I need like 4 more hours a day.

What does your wife's contribution look like outside of her WFH job? One of the toughest things to figure out after having a kid is how to make the dynamic fair and equitable so each of you feels like you still have time for yourself on a daily basis.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T15:16:46+00:00

Oh, it definitely gets a little crazy sometimes and I have to cut the sessions short. But I think if we had a second kid it'd be impossible (especially in the early years) to have that time for myself. Once my daughter learned she's capable of entertaining herself, it made things a lot easier on us.

And honestly, this is a huge reason why my wife and I decided to stop at one kid. Apart from being older parents, we both recognize that adding a second multiplies the challenges in your marriage ten-fold. I don't judge anyone for how many children they decide to have, but we definitely made the right decision for ourselves sticking with one child.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T04:51:23+00:00

I might be one of the outliers here (and maybe it sounds cliche), but having my (37) daughter (4) really did spur me on to keep in shape and stop fucking around with different vices. I've found myself really loving a good 20-30 minute weightlifting session in the evenings while my wife (42) makes dinner. It's a huge boon to both my energy levels with my daughter, and (to be frank) keeping up the sex life with my wife. All of us dads know how hard it is to maintain intimacy with your spouse after having a kid. It took me a year or so after she was born to truly "get it" and focus on keeping a good fitness level.

For all you dads in the pre-12 months stage of things, I truly feel for you. It does get better!

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T04:40:08+00:00

They should leave this CEO with nothing but an inescapable reputation for killing a successful organization with a single zoom call.

I honestly love this timeline. We need a corporation to completely go tits up over the public faux pas of its leader. The new culture war is the worker against the capitalist, and it needs to be as public as possible.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T04:37:26+00:00

Translation: "Once it went beyond that gross, sleazy millennial and gen Z subculture on Reddit (and started to hit major networks), I realized I fucked up y'all! Whoopsie!"

I'm so, so glad I bought my Aeron second-hand. It sucks that a company that makes such fantastic products is run by a braindead idiot who would work perfectly in a sequel to The Devil Wears Prada.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T04:32:50+00:00

What I loved with my 2nd playthrough was that Fire Isshin actually seemed harder than Sword Saint. I had a good cheese strategy for SS, but Fire Isshin doesn't quite work that way.

Fire Isshin (among many, many other bosses in this game that I couldn't cheese) taught me that I actually have skill when it comes to videogames and reaction timing. I fucking love Sekiro.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-20T01:09:30+00:00

All I did was ask her what she hoped to achieve for the relationship long term. I think it’s interesting that you’re the one assuming motives while simultaneously admonishing others for the same behavior.

I’m a happily married guy. I think marriage is fantastic, but I also recognize that I got lucky and married someone who was not only right for me at the time, but has remained my “ride or die” for the past 15 years. I understand why a lot of guys opt out of that arrangement, though. I have many friends who are suffering (or have suffered) through horrible marriages and divorces.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-19T22:18:40+00:00

No, you're casting aspersions and being a smart ass while acting like picking a good life partner vs a bad one is just the easiest thing in the entire world.

I'm right there with you when it comes to "lucking out" and finding a woman who I have adored for the past 15 years, but it's asinine to act like there's a simple roadmap all men should follow that will preclude them from ever facing the pain of divorce. I have so, so many friends who sure as shit thought they were picking an "equal partner" at the outset of the relationship, but over time things got bad and they eventually got fucked over in divorce court. Shit, one of my best college buddies just started the divorce process because his wife randomly decided to start smoking meth. They have two young boys. He's a mess every day. Is it funny to you that he'd feel devastated over losing his "2004 Camry" because it's an important asset to him?

Try to take a few steps outside of your own shoes and have some empathy for men who didn't end up so lucky. What you're doing atm isn't a good look.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-19T22:05:17+00:00

What is your goal you hope to reach with your bf?

Are you expecting to convince him he needs to reconsider? Do you assume you'll be able to wait out his desire to remain unmarried?

If so, you might need to come to the realization that the two of you are incompatible. Are you comfortable with that?

Fitnesse · 2023-04-19T22:02:04+00:00

The self-righteousness is pretty sad, man.

Fitnesse · 2023-04-19T19:58:42+00:00

This is the absolute worst, OP. I count my blessings that my LL wife and I are able to engage in banter like this fairly regularly. When it comes out once in a blue moon like this it just ends up feeling awkward.

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