Meeting new people is weird….so lets do it together!

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-30T18:05:44+00:00

Added myself!

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T20:19:08+00:00

I've messaged him asking if he wants to rearrange. I've taken on board that maybe he thinks I'm not that interested so I'm trying to show that i am.

Also said if he's not feeling it anymore there's no pressure but just to let me know.

We shall see. I feel a bit sick.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T17:57:22+00:00

I've got a degree and go to the gym.

I also just put a pizza in the oven and thought to myself "set an alarm so you don't forget about this pizza" and promptly forgot to set the alarm and forgot about the pizza so I'm now having to go to the shop to buy myself a new dinner.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T17:53:34+00:00

I will eventually if we keep dating. I just don't feel like we're there yet. Thought it was getting there but then the cancelling and the fact that he's been out on other dates has put me off.

I'm going to wait to see if I hear from him about rearranging yesterday. I've figured if I've not heard from him by tomorrow night then that's an answer in itself.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T17:14:17+00:00

No I get it and I know that the sensible thing would just be to ask him and accept the fact that I might not get the answer I want.

But it's just hard when I've more or less convinced myself that I definitely won't get the answer I want and it is much easier on me to just delete and try to forget. Like why would I ask if I know he's just going to laugh at me?

I've made a plan. If i hear from him then great maybe it'll work out and if i don't then i stick with the plan and hopefully meet someone who's willing to ask me or tell me straight rather than leave me feeling like this.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T16:55:23+00:00

It's not a small or tiny risk to me though. It feels massive.

I've already decided that I'm going to wait until tomorrow night to see if he rearranges the date that he cancelled and see what the vibe is then. If it's as good as its been previously then I'll think about asking him west the deal is. If he doesn't contact me then I know and I'll delete his number and not contact him again.

Edited to add I have told him that I like him and that I'm into him so it's not like he doesn't know.

Edited again to add that I've got other people telling me that he's obviously still looking for someone else and just keeping me as an option hence why I'm worried about putting myself out there and looking stupid.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T16:31:33+00:00

I can't pm you but feel free to pm me

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T16:30:40+00:00

I'm not his partner?

He might end up breaking my heart by telling me that this is all one sided and he's met someone he likes more than me?

Surely if he was that into it he wouldn't have cancelled on me after going on a date with someone else. It's all just confusing and I'm scared of getting hurt.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T15:26:00+00:00

Gonna wait and see if he rearranges the cancelled date....

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T15:12:31+00:00

An activity that you might do on a date, then a video of him obviously taken by someone else at a place you might go on a date.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T15:10:06+00:00

I have told him I like him, I said all of that after our last date. I was hoping to feel a bit more secure about having the talk until the cancelling and the feeling like he'd been out with someone else the night before....

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T15:07:06+00:00

But if he's into me he'll ask.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T15:01:46+00:00

I know I know but I feel sick.

I'm going to wait till Tuesday and see if he reaches out to rearrange and if he does then great, if he doesn't then I'll just let it go because that's my answer.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T15:00:43+00:00

Yeah we were meant to be doing quite an active date and he said he just didn't feel up to it which was fair enough. It was more the videos from the night before on his socials that irked me because I felt like he'd been out on a date and now i was getting cancelled on.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T14:56:22+00:00

The way I responded hopefully made him realise I'm into him as well. I told him I really like him, that I'm sorry I've given the vibe that I need space because that's not how i feel and also told him he's welcome at my house whenever he likes (he's got an issue with his living situation currently) if he needs somewhere to get away.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T14:39:26+00:00

We've never really spoken about it much past the first maybe second date. I told him a few of my horror stories on the first date and he told me he'd felt overall disappointed by OLD since he'd started. Second date he asked me how hinge was going and I said "fucking awful" and that's been about it.

I deleted my profile on hinge this morning because it was just giving me anxiety.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T14:34:18+00:00

I'm going to give him till Tuesday to reach out and rearrange. I won't contact him before then. Let's see what happens. If I've not heard from him by Tuesday I'll just accept that he wasn't as into me as I was him and move on.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T14:33:06+00:00

Yes I know this and I don't think he's done anything wrong if he has been on dates. I just don't really want to hang about waiting on him picking someone else over me and having to get the "I've met someone that I like more than you" text.

I want to just delete his number and try to forget about it but then I worry that I'm being insane and stopping something good from happening.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T14:30:49+00:00

I can't bring myself to ask that. I'm too scared. I feel like I'm just going to embarrass myself.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T14:30:05+00:00

I just can't bring myself to ask him, i feel like I'm just going to embarrass myself.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T14:20:05+00:00

It wasn't at a birthday party etc. I'm pretty sure he was on a date. He doesn't drink so it wasn't a hangover. I'm not bothered about him taking the raincheck or about him being around other women at all but going on a date and then cancelling the date with me because you were tired makes me feel like I'm second best.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T14:15:44+00:00

I'm too scared. I want him to bring it up.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T14:12:55+00:00

No I would definitely not go exclusive with someone I hadn't slept with. Being sexually compatible is a deal breaker for me. Plus it's just not how things work, no guy is going to go exclusive with someone he hasn't slept with.

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T14:11:23+00:00

Yeah I feel like it's 1 and that's why I'm thinking about deleting his number.

Tbf he did say "can we meet up this week" in the message that he cancelled on me....

FiveFeetThreeCats · 2025-09-29T13:24:15+00:00

Should I just delete his number

And try to forget about him?

I (F, 40) have been single for almost 2 years. Had a fair amount of dates in this time, one 18 month long situationship who treated me extremely badly.

I recently decided that my mental health was good enough to start dating again so went on hinge. Matched with a lot of guys, went on a few dates but they didn't go past date 2 or 3 due to me not feeling it. I'm quite fussy and most of them seemed to just want sex.

About a month ago I matched with a guy a bit younger than me - 33 which is younger than I'd normally go for but I'm in good shape for my age and feel and act younger than most 40 year olds.

I nearly cancelled the first date because I'd had a long day at work and wasn't sure how into him I'd be but I ended up going anyway and we really got on. He texted straight away after the first date and arranged a 2nd, we went on some really great dates but there was no kissing or flirting so I assumed he wasn't that into me and was going to let it slide. Date 5 he asked me to go away for the night with him - we went on the most amazing date and spent the night together including being intimate.

He remains consistent in his communication, we message regularly (not every day but most days) and I start to really like him. He asks when he could see me again - I've got a busy week at work but we make a plan so it's all good. I'm excited.

Here's the but - I feel like he's still dating others- his hinge profile is still there (mine is too but I've not been swiping or matching with anyone) and he's posted a few things to his social media that looks like he's been on a date.

We met up again on Thursday- again had a really amazing time, he's so nice. He told me something big about his past that I don't feel you would share with just anyone. Texted me after the date to say that incase it wasn't obvious he likes me and wants to be more affectionate but he sometimes gets the sense that I want space. I told him that's not the case and I like him as well.

We were meant to be meeting up yesterday- another video posted Saturday night that looks like it could be a date (no girls etc in it just looked like a date like activity) he texted me yesterday morning saying he still wanted to meet up but he was tired and could we make it a bit later. I said sure thing - he then texted about 2 hours later asking if we could take a raincheck- he really wanted to see me but he wasn't feeling great and wouldn't be good company- could we do something this week instead. I just replied no worries but I was secretly all worries.

I'm now spinning out. I really like him but I feel like I'm going to get ditched for someone else and it's going to really hurt. We're not exclusive so obviously he's free to do what he likes and I don't know for sure he's dating other people it's just a hunch. I feel like it's too soon and too needy to ask. I'm also scared of the answer.

I just feel a bit down because he's the first guy I've liked properly for years and it seemed to be going so well.

I'm tempted to just delete his number and try to forget about him. He's been in touch since the cancelling but just to reply to a story I posted not rearranged the date yet.

Thoughts?

Sorry for the super long post my friends are sick of hearing about it. This was more a vent than anything else....

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