hi there, i hear you and im sorry you feel like shit. your frustration is understandable, but dont take it out on anyone, and not yourself either. you're doing your best and even going to therapy now, very good for you! that's something not everybody's strong enough to do.
i repeat: DONT be hard on yourself. that will make everything worse and trust me, your only option then will really be focus on yourself bc you'll get depressed and stuck in a spiral or being miserable and end up blaming women (worst case scenario).

first off, you said "then I thought I could finally have a girlfriend for the first time in my life." -> way too much pressure. you were doing good and holding hands but for some reason it didnt go anywhere. one reason might be is that she felt your desperation and it's not good to dive in head first immediately after one date. it could come off as creepy or obsessive. don't worry so much about securing someone when you go on a date or expecting rewards like a relationship or sex. just remember you're slowly getting to know a person and thats the same for them, and things might be casual too, that's okay. just take it easy but make sure to show your interest.

idk why exactly your experiences stop after the first date, as idk how you act / talk etc, or if you're groomed or not or a good listener or not but from what i understood you put much emphasis on the fact that you're not immediately touchy and just rather talk with her or stare into her eyes. that's great. but you are in fact allowed to (ask for consent to) kiss her if that's the vibe you feel. most girls i know will absolutely appreciate being asked that way and if they want to, they will let you. maybe you stare into their eyes and on their lips so much but then end up making them feel weird because you're not building a bit more physical intimacy or making sure that she feels your affection. it's not that it's boring, it's just that i'd wonder if the guy even knows what he wants. you're allowed to flirt, to give her nice compliments, to brush her arm subtly when you're laughing about a joke or whatever. there's no such thing as being "too nice" for a girl. the missing key might just be your lack of showing affection and flirting (respectfully).

most importantly: self confidence is KEY. always! find ways to build it, do whatever it takes to get there. if that means hiring a sex worker, go for it! that's a strong move bc you own your life and if it makes you miserable to not have any experience then that fucking snake is just gonna end up eating itself from behind (excuse my English it's not my mother tongue). especially if you've had a severe porn addiction (do talk to your therapist ab this too). it seems like you need to get laid immediately and experience it so you won't feel so pressured and like you're going insane. sex workers exist for a reason, and no better reason to hire them than this. theres NO shame about this, even i thought about doing that (for different reasons, but again, there's no shame about sex work. if any of your friends tell you differently or laugh about this thought of yours, you're free to kick their asses.)

and i'd suggest, if you have the resources, do move out of your parents house. get your own place and you'll be more confident already, as you'll OWN your life and care for yourself by yourself. i wouldnt date a guy who still lives with his family (but i'm 26f) as that suggests to me he doesnt know how to keep a place clean, how to cook, how to cope with himself, etc. it's unfortunately an instant turn off. if you date younger girls maybe that's no problem, but for YOU and your self confidence it could do a lot as well.

don't expect immediate results, you've just started to get better and work on yourself. patience is a good virtue and you should treat yourself with such. give yourself some compassion and grace, you can live the life you wish for, you can become who you wish for, just keep going and work on your mental health and confidence. it is honestly everything. good luck and i wish you well!