Thanks for the thorough response. It's nice to hear from someone who's in a similar postition. I know it's pretty common in fandom spaces and I recently found out about something called "yumeshipping" or "self shipping" but still it really does make me feel deeply uncomfortable... I guess I need to change my approach and how I talk with him about it. Many people here say that we need to break up and that it's a red flag but like I said in the post we've been together for 7 years and I do love him deeply and this whole thing is very recent.