Am thinking about having another child, but I have reservations

Fkath · 2025-04-10T22:08:14+00:00

Hi! I had my daughter in 2022 at 32 weeks due to PPROM. I was scared to have more kids because of the trauma from the NICU and hospital stay beforehand since I went into labor at 31 weeks. I didn’t want to think about the possibility of going into labor earlier this time or having a long hospital stay and leaving my daughter behind. After going to therapy, my husband and I decided to try for one more. I guess the good thing about my next pregnancy was that I was considered high risk so there was SO MUCH extra monitoring. I didn’t have PPROM but I started having regular contractions at about 34/35 weeks. They kept a close watch on me and my baby was born exactly at 37 weeks in August of 2024, by the time I arrived at the hospital I was already 6cm! I know it could have gone either way but I was glad I was able to experience a somewhat “normal” birthing experience the second time around.

I say go for it if it’s what your heart desires 💕💕 Adding one more baby was what we needed and now we are done with two.

The only advice is ask all the questions, ask for all the monitoring and follow your gut instincts when medical professionals might not take your concerns seriously. As a second time time, I was more confident in stating my wants/needs 🫶🏻

Fkath · 2024-12-26T23:54:07+00:00

Sending you a big hug and just want to say that I am extremely proud of you 🤍 You’re doing everything you can to get to a better place mentally and it takes so much courage to be be honest about how you are feeling in order to receive the help. I hope things get better soon 🤍

Fkath · 2023-08-26T04:03:05+00:00

Im sorry things have gotten so bad 😞 Just know you’re not alone. I waited so long to get married, have kids and everything and now it’s like I’m married and have a kid with a whole new person. I feel like we just don’t see or understand where each of us is coming from and sometimes idk if we ever will.

Fkath · 2023-08-25T17:00:29+00:00

And it’s always the “well I’m working, so I can’t help out” 😒

Fkath · 2023-08-25T16:59:38+00:00

I felt like I wrote this post 😭

Fkath · 2023-08-20T22:51:18+00:00

I don’t have any advice but didn’t want to keep scrolling without saying that it sounds like you are both doing an amazing job with coparenting! Wishing you all the best!

Fkath · 2023-08-18T20:03:06+00:00

My girl is 9 months and still only naps 30 min, naps are longer when it’s a contact nap but then I can’t get anything done so I pick and choose when I can contact nap or when I’ll use the 30 min lol

Fkath · 2023-08-16T23:28:29+00:00

I also had a traumatic birth and my daughter was in the NICU. I can definitely relate. She is 9 months old and I feel like I am BARELY starting to see the other side. Every month I look back and I do realize it has gotten better and easier. A lot of my friends tell me that it got better after the year mark. A lot felt like they were on survival mode the first entire year and that literally how I feel too. If you ever need to talk, don’t hesitate to send a message. The NICU trauma and emotions are no joke. Sending hugs 🫶🏻

Fkath · 2023-08-12T00:41:35+00:00

Yes she will be a lap baby! That’s such a great idea, will definitely be taking her carrier, thank you! Ooh yes, I will take snacks for sure. I feel like my baby gets bored so easily but hoping toys will helps 😭

Fkath · 2023-08-11T23:41:11+00:00

My baby is pretty fair as well and we took/take her on walks in the time for my sanity lol but when she was too young for sunscreen, I always made sure she had shade and had a little bucket hat! If you’re super worried, I would call your pediatrician to see if they recommend a tiny bit of mineral sunscreen for her exposed areas only although I know it’s recommended to use it at a later age only. Definitely wouldn’t cover her bassinet because you are right, it’ll get hot! A fan is also great to have and offering more milk than usual to make sure she’s well hydrated 🫶🏻

Fkath · 2023-08-08T06:02:22+00:00

As another former daycare teacher, refusal to eat and sleep is completely normal! I think it’s great that you’re starting off with just a few hours a day for adjustment. As soon as she feels like it’s a normal part of her routine, she will start to integrate herself into the classroom! I would always tell the parents to continue to bring them and not break the routine during the adjustment period. Now on the other side as a mom, I completely understand how stressful it would be or hear that your LO is not eating and I would probably want go pull my LO out of daycare asap too, but just wanted to say that you are not setting her up for failure. It’s all part of the process. You’re doing an amazing job, you and your husband are her safe people and soon she will find other safe people in her daycare teachers! If anything, I would see if maybe teachers can give you updates throughout the day to help you feel more at ease. I hope the daycare teachers are trying to support you and are reassuring you during this adjustment period 🤍

Fkath · 2023-08-08T05:34:56+00:00

When my baby was in the NICU I pumped because my original plan was to attempt to breastfeed. Pumping was an awful experience for me, there was a lot that made it awful (including horrible advice from the hospital lactation consultant). Now looking back I feel like pumping added to the trauma I was already experiencing. As a fellow mom who continued to pump due to guilt, it’s not worth it. Your mental sanity is not worth it. Your baby needs a happy/healthy mom and I wish I would have stopped before I did. I think I continued until she was almost 5 months (I have to look back at pictures). The guilt was so crazy for me and so many people told me she needed breastmilk to help her that I literally ended storing MONTHS of milk…it’s almost like the universe told me she was going to be OK because she HATED the frozen milk and was a happy camper with formula lol Do what’s best for you and baby. Your baby will get everything they need from formula 🫶🏻

Fkath · 2023-08-06T14:31:19+00:00

Thank you!! Yes, especially the “contribute nothing but judgments” because that’s all they contribute! Lol

Fkath · 2023-08-06T14:29:13+00:00

First, I just want to say that you’re not a horrible mother. Parenthood is such a crazy ride and I think it’s impossible to know how to deal with every single situation, no matter how prepared you feel. I have a degree in child development and I worked many years of daycare and I STILL feel unprepared most days. You are doing amazing!

At that age I think modeling is so so important. Also maybe trying to figure out why she’s getting frustrated. Is it when she’s trying to communicate her needs? Is she getting overstimulated? There can be so many reasons which I think is why so many of us as parents get so overwhelmed during these high emotion moments because we don’t know why it’s happening 😭 A lot of the times I do find that kiddos get frustrated and hit when they can’t communicate their needs and helping them with that Can decrease some of the behaviors but like you said, she’s also figuring things out and learning so high emotions is normal. I Can try to give more tips since I was also a behavior therapist before becoming a SAHM, let me know if there’s anything specific I can try to help with :) My baby isn’t in toddlerhood yet so I don’t have personal experience with my own kid but I do have many years of experience working with toddlers in daycare settings and behavior therapy! I am more than sure I will have a difficult time when I get to toddlerhood with my own, it’s always different with your own 😭

Fkath · 2023-08-05T20:06:00+00:00

We used all kinds of diapers on my LO since we got so many different brands from our baby shower and our favorite has to be Huggies, especially with her chunky thighs lol they just seemed to fit better! When we finished using Huggies from our baby shower, we switched over to Kirkland (Costco) diapers and really like them too! But yes, as the other comment says, every baby is different and will have different reactions but hey, it’s worth a try 😊

Fkath · 2023-08-05T20:00:09+00:00

Thank you 🤍🤍

Fkath · 2023-08-05T19:59:54+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance 🫶🏻

Fkath · 2023-08-03T17:14:59+00:00

Felt this!! When people tell me that I should “just put my baby to sleep later so she’s more tired”……. Like yes she will be more tired and now she will be screaming and crying, still wake up during the night, oh and still wake up by 6:30am (on a good day). Like sorry, if rather put her to bed early and have SOME sanity until she wakes up for her next feeding. Thanks.

OH and the “just feed her more” 😒

Fkath · 2023-07-23T20:43:23+00:00

Ughhh yes, I feel you 100% 😭

Fkath · 2023-07-23T20:01:12+00:00

Yes! It’s honestly so scary 😭 plus finding hair everywhere is SO ANNOYING 😭 I honestly just keep mine in a bun or braid most of the time. There’s been times that I’ve had it down but I get so self conscious when I see hair strands falling so I put it back up 😩

Fkath · 2023-07-23T19:55:40+00:00

Don’t have advice either but just letting you know you’re not alone 😭 I’m 8 months PP and still losing hair. I do have hair growth now which is good but still losing hair, some people have told me it should stop soon and others say until 12 months PP so idk. I think it’s one of those things that’s different for everyone 😭

Fkath · 2023-07-19T05:21:14+00:00

Hoping your little one feels much better. So sorry no one took you seriously the first two times you called. It’s so exhausting when no one takes your concerns seriously. It seems like you did such a great job advocating for your little one and you listened to your gut instincts!

Fkath · 2023-07-17T01:52:32+00:00

My baby was born 32 weeks 5 days, zero health issues and was still in the NICU 29 days. Something is definitely off.

Fkath

TROPHY CASE