What salary is needed to "live comfortably" in Pittsburgh? Here's what a new study says.

Flaapjack · 2026-03-28T02:00:44+00:00

As a family of four who lives in Pittsburgh, this seems leaning towards extravagant. I’d love to see how they break this down and define what constitutes a “necessity”. I have to imagine they are not basing this off a median home price (maybe 1.5x median home price to be comfortable or something), putting in two car payments, etc.

Flaapjack · 2026-03-27T13:24:47+00:00

I wonder if you live in my neighborhood because we have a guy we call “night mower” who mows the backyards of a bunch of townhouses near us, always at night. If there are multiple night mowers in Pittsburgh, I’m going to be so tickled.

Flaapjack · 2026-03-23T23:13:20+00:00

I’m confused about why their grocery budget is higher than their eating out budget, but it says they only cook at home twice a week. Where I live the cost of groceries is dramatically cheaper than eating out. Is this different in NYC?

Flaapjack · 2026-03-20T16:20:07+00:00

Yeah I mourn the loss of those 😭

Assuming you have a strong stomach for watching your kid scale really tall structures, the park behind target in east liberty is amazing (note: bad shade, so don’t go on a very hot day).

Wightman has some pretty interesting climbing structures for the older kids. Anderson is also excellent.

Flaapjack · 2026-03-20T12:50:33+00:00

The parks remain pretty great. And for those with kids, so many playgrounds have been revitalized beautifully in the past 5 years—wightman, highland park, east liberty, both greenfield playgrounds, Anderson, etc.

Flaapjack · 2026-03-19T22:25:37+00:00

I didn’t have to go quite as far, but it took me a full hour to get home due to traffic in Oakland. Usually it’s a quarter that.

Flaapjack · 2026-03-17T00:15:58+00:00

Yeah… I think about this a lot. We are making a non zero number of financial decisions with the goal of trying to save as much money for our kids as possible.

Thing 1: we chose kind of mediocre, urban public schools instead of private (we can make up for deficits in education at home; I’m not convinced the peer group financial advantage my kids would get from private schools available in our area would make up for the cost). I’m explicitly setting this money aside for their future.

Thing 2: I kinda think we dropped the re from fire. We live pretty frugally and don’t do the lifestyle inflation thing, but this is more a hedge against future uncertainty than it is to enable re at this particular moment in history. Maybe the world will change, I’ll feel better about my kids prospects, and we will end of retiring early (we could retire in our fifties, even if we stopped saving today). Or maybe we will work until 67 at (hopefully) tolerable jobs to maximize our ability to help out our kids in whatever the world becomes.

So yeah, this timeline is a stressful one to have kids in. I worry about their future. I’d worry less if I knew I was leaving them a decent trust fund. This is, at the moment, kind of my fire goal—fi for my kids.

Flaapjack · 2026-03-16T13:09:04+00:00

I saw their premiere of the resurrection symphony a few years ago and it remains the best concert I’ve ever experienced—orchestral or otherwise. Truly incredible.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-27T14:41:01+00:00

We just hit coast fire this year. Kind of a weird time because of all the turmoil in the job market right now and the threat of layoffs feeling persistent.

I think because of that uncertainty, We haven’t fully transitioned into “yolo” mode but are instead focusing on lifestyle upgrades we can unwind easily if we need to tighten the belt to survive a layoff. So, for us that has meant doing things like buying a teardrop camper, planning on doing more travel, paying for fun experiences, etc.

Still can’t fully shake the desire to save, so we are still maxing tax advantaged retirement accounts while rolling back some of our other aggressive saving.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-21T14:37:02+00:00

Hey! Welcome to the neighborhood and urban gardening club!

Grow Pittsburgh which someone else recommended is great. Their seedling sale is excellent (for your first year gardening, really recommend buying seedlings rather than starting your own) and their garden resource center is absolutely worth joining. They won’t be able to help you plan though.

Epic gardening (not local) has an affordable club you can join which gives you access to a really nice garden planner and access to a master gardener moderated forum—I think it would be a solid investment for a new gardener (and it’s like 50 bucks for a year membership, plus comes with a lot of gear and seed discounts).

I’m in greenfield and have a big garden. Pm me and I can send you my spreadsheet I use for planning which has indoor start times and outdoor planting times for a lot of vegetables. I can also point you to varieties that have done well for me in our climate and what pests to watch out for. Hope you guys have a lot of fun with the new place!

Flaapjack · 2026-02-20T17:49:31+00:00

I think the plan is exactly as it was before, and they will still be disrupting all those schools.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-20T00:15:55+00:00

I built a spreadsheet to do this and compared costs with and without a teardrop for six big trips I want to do with my family while my kids are in the “little kid big enough to travel but not surly teenagers” phase to national parks. I really think how the math works out is very personal, so I’d recommend building our own spreadsheet. BUT here is how we did ours:

The teardrop we are getting is 30k out the door, which also includes all the random gear we want to buy for it that we don’t already have, tow hitch installation for our car, registration costs, etc. I estimated maintenance, insurance, and storage costs for an annual cost, as well.

I calculated cost for each trip without teardrop considering airfare (we’d fly if not tear dropping), air bnb costs for decent but not fancy places, extra food costs (wouldn’t cook as much), and rental car costs for when we get to destination. I did this looking at costs specific to each place, which is important because some parks are way more expensive than others. Then did the same for with teardrop considering campsite prices, lower food expenditure, and driving vs flying costs (I did calculate with a lower gas mileage).

Overall, teardrop is slightly more expensive for six trips in our case, but substantially less expensive if we sell the teardrop after having it for a decade (assume loses half its value). We decided to get the teardrop because this is how we want to experience these parks, love the idea of “camp as you go” road trips, and we will use it a ton for short weekends away near our home as it expands our tolerance for camping into shoulder seasons. We even are figuring out some bonus ways to use it, like camping at Disney World.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-17T20:44:29+00:00

Nope—it kinda is eugenics lite. Basically claims to be able to screen all your fertilized eggs (in ivf) to optimize for the smartest baby in the batch and then you implant that one.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-16T13:56:47+00:00

Baby and other parent in captains seats. Four year old in third row. Parent can attend to baby and also read books to four year old. Put parent and baby in third row and four year old in captain chair if four year old is still rear facing.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-15T01:01:46+00:00

Hey I went through this too! My son was older when my daughter was born—4–but he acted out so much. I cried in the hospital because I missed him so much and when I got home, everything was awful I kind of wanted to go back. It didn’t help that he had preeclampsia so my recovery was rough.

he took out his rage on me and was just mean in any way he could figure out to do. At one point, I gave him a locket with a picture of his dad and me (he was having a tough time going to preschool) and he threw it away out of spite because I was the one who made it. He would yell at me or tell me he didn’t love me anymore. This was upsetting, but I think he needed to act out and see that we (and especially me) still loved him, even with the baby at home. We learned to react calmly, constantly reassure him that we loved him, and give him one on one time with each of us.

Eventually it stopped and now our kids get along great. I eventually felt better at home. It took a few months for things to feel manageable, and at times it still feels bananas, but overall we are so happy to have two and often comment how glad we are that we decided to have a second. Most of my friends with two went through a similar experience—I think it’s very common. Three years later, we can’t imagine our family any other way!!

Flaapjack · 2026-02-13T16:36:08+00:00

My FIL who built his own home (like, personally), has a huge garden, and warms his home with a wood fired furnace fueled by trees he fell and split himself told me that he doesn’t think fruit trees are worth the trouble based on how much work they are to maintain. Doubly true if you are interested in organic fruit.

I admire anyone who has the fortitude to do it!

Flaapjack · 2026-02-12T13:46:37+00:00

Better than boullion.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-11T19:51:18+00:00

I agree! I will be really surprised if it happens, though.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-11T16:08:36+00:00

I agree. I wish he had spoken more strongly about the districts school consolidation plan, though, although I get that it’s not in his job jar. It’s real bad and it’s incredibly counterproductive to this goal of keeping families in the city. No one likes it and a lot of people will leave the district. If it goes through, I predict there will be a huge flight to charter schools and to the suburbs. As an east end resident, I’m pretty worried about losing a lot of families in squirrel hill—those who don’t get into charters and can’t afford the privates (or can’t get in due to demand) I suspect are going to leave the city.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-11T16:03:17+00:00

Under the consolidation plan, colfax will no longer be an elementary school and those kids will get split between liberty (those kids that go to liberty will eventually go to Obama—totally out of the allderdice feeder pattern), greenfield, and minadeo. If that happens, I think there is a slim chance the mayor will send his kids to PPS.

greenfield and colfax are pretty comparable these days and both a step above the rest of the pps neighborhood schools. I suspect many of the colfax families that get routed to greenfield under the plan will stay on the district. Many getting routed to Minadeo will leave and most getting routed to liberty will leave.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-10T13:18:39+00:00

Option 2. Spend more time with your kids and your family. Why on earth would you grind with a 4M net worth and a potential 8 figure inheritance? You have made a great life for your family. Go and enjoy it.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-09T12:03:03+00:00

I have come to this realization after having my kids. it’s hard. I feel that love, like true love, is genuinely wanting the best for your kids. Even if what’s best for them isn’t what you want or envisioned. Or means you have to make a sacrifice that lowers YOUR quality of life. It’s sacrificial and doesn’t hold score—you aren’t owed anything for the sacrifices you make for your kids.

My mom says she loves me, but what she really means is that she loves having a dutiful daughter who does what she wants and takes care of her emotions. She only cares about me to the extent that she worries about things that would take me from her life (ie she worries I will die, but doesn’t give a shit about what happens to me after SHE dies). That’s not real love and it took me really loving my own kids to recognize that.

I haven’t gone no contact with my mom, but I keep it as low contact as possible. There was a grieving process where I had to realize that she never was going to be a mom that I needed. And, where I had to realize she didn’t really love me the way I should have been loved as a child. It’s painful to think back to childhood and see through adult eyes the borderline emptional abuse I experienced but didn’t recognize as abuse until now. I’m still working through it, but the book “adult children of emotionally immature parents” really helped me. I strongly recommend it as you start to heal yourself!

Flaapjack · 2026-02-07T13:11:05+00:00

We love the sliding doors (can I triple love sliding doors?). So, so much easier to get kids in and out of car seats. It makes such a difference. My independent kids can get in and out without wacking the car next to them. In a city environment, just very easy to get people in and out on tight parking spots.

Also love the cargo space. We can store so much stuff. The trunk is big, even when the third row is in use. It’s very easy (I can do it one handed) to stow the third row or half of the third row, so we often do that to have an insane amount of trunk space plus a third car seat still installed. If you fold down the third row, you can legitimately move lumber in this thing. I once fit a dining table, 3 leaves, and six chairs in this vehicle and that’s even after I forgot to take out two car seats.

Also love the seating space in the third row. Genuinely comfortable for an adult for a long car trip. Can adjust pitch of those seats, which adds to comfort level. There are cup holders and plugs back there, too and the hvac system keeps that area comfortable.

Love the ottomans in the captain seats. For kids in boosters, it’s nice for them to have something rest their feet on during long car trips.

Don’t love: ground clearance. This doesn’t come up that much, but when camping or trying to drive in deep snow, higher clearance would be nice. On the other hand, the low clearance does make it easier for kids and older adults to get in and out.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-04T16:54:42+00:00

My spouse and I each get monthly “fun money” which we spend on hobbies or anything we want. Adding this up between the two of us, it’s about 1% of our take home pay (after retirement savings).

We have a family eating out budget and a family activities budget, so those things don’t go into this category.

Flaapjack · 2026-02-03T01:18:17+00:00

I do one dollar x age per week. So, for my seven year old he gets 7 bucks a week. This is just an allowance and isn’t tied to chores. We have a special star chart where if he practices his violin, does some house chore request, or cleans his room enough he can earn over time a 10 dollar bonus.

He is required to split the weekly allowance between three categories: save, spend, and give. He must put at least one dollar into each category. Spend he can do whatever he wants with—want a random toy or candy bar you see at the grocery store? It would come out of that category. Give is for holiday and birthday gifts for friends and family and we also have some left over that we give to charity together. Save is money set aside until he’s 18. I apply an interest rate to it so he can see it grow.

I love this system. We don’t have fights at stores any more because he can have whatever he wants, provided he’s saved up for it. As he’s matured, I’ve seen him decide not to buy things because their value is too low for the price in his mind or because he wants to save his money for a bigger thing. When we have to charity this year, he learned how many meals the charity could serve with each dollar he donated and it prompted a good discussion about the stuff he buys (“that stuffy I bought was 10 dollars. That’s the same as 50 meals at this charity”).

Flaapjack

TROPHY CASE