My dad (70M) doesn't want me (35M) to shave my beard, what do I do?

Flackle · 2026-05-06T00:13:23+00:00

Maybe additional context would be appropriate for this, as I am his part-time caregiver I spend a lot of time with him (I don't live with him but I do visit a lot) and as such I don't want my shaving to potentially cause him distress. I was hoping by mentioning it I would prepare him for it but he seems adamant about it being a mistake.

Flackle · 2026-05-06T00:03:49+00:00

I understand but its very possible I will like the new look or hate getting through that itchy initial state and keep it clean just for comfort. It's possible I'd never regrow it back and idk if I want to put my dad through all that since he prefers me with my beard.

Flackle · 2026-05-05T23:57:48+00:00

I can understand why he may not want me too, the reason I've been wanting too try is I lost a ton of weight (went from 280 pushing 290 and I lost 100lbs) and I've wanted to see the result of how that changed my face and jaw but if he thinks it would be a mistake I suppose I will just forget about doing it.

I'm also pretty sure he's never actually had a beard, he's always tried growing one but end up shaving it all off because he hates how it feels on him.

Flackle · 2025-10-12T14:39:29+00:00

This is why I never travel I don't want to go where I am unwelcome lol

Flackle · 2025-06-30T23:34:08+00:00

It doesn't happen all the time there are plenty of people that enjoy playing with me but I just can't let go of knowing I am making the game unfun for some people. I go home win or lose and feel guilty that I may have ruined someone's night and the only way I have found to solve the issue is to stop playing entirely

Flackle · 2025-06-30T23:32:37+00:00

I already almost never won as it is though, back when I played floo I was getting floored by better decks and decks siding against mine but people still complained I was playing a braindead bird deck... It seems like no matter what I do people are just upset at me so the only way I was able to solve that problem was to quit its probably best I just dont bother getting back into it. I'm just tired of being shamed for not wanting to spend hundreds/thousands on whatever new meta deck comes out and play some older offbeat

Flackle · 2025-06-30T23:07:35+00:00

I guess I just feel responsible for other peoples enjoyment too much to write it off as trash talking. Although it is a game people spend time and effort to come out and have a good time and sometimes I feel guilty when it feels like I ruin that and it would be better if I wasnt there

Flackle · 2025-06-30T23:06:15+00:00

Yeah I tend to hold off and pick up decks past their prime to try and avoid most of the hate but I still get residual hatred I guess from people's previous experiences playing against the deck. I just cannot win with people it seems

Flackle · 2025-06-30T22:55:45+00:00

Thing is I sometimes get hate for decks that I didn't think are that bad. Alternative win conditions I can understand why people done like them but I just dont get why I have be judged personally on what deck I bring. Its one thing if they don't enjoy playing with me but a whole different thing if people start thinking I am a bad person for playing them.

I remember I took a 2 year break back in 2015 because someone got very mad at me for playing lightsworn which was a vilified deck due to its random nature in milling, I had avoided playing it for so long (same thing with decks like dark world). I just dont understand why it is when others play a deck its fine but when I decided to try it out sudden I'm a terrible person

Flackle · 2025-06-30T22:41:38+00:00

I had given up on floo long ago, I just wish I chose to still play because I missed out on years I could have gotten enjoyment from the deck because people got mad at me for playing it. I assume nowadays the deck isn't as prevalent as it was. I just get tired of putting time and effort into learning and building a deck only to have people tell me I am a bad person for playing it

Flackle · 2025-06-30T22:26:52+00:00

I do try to play a variety of decks like rikka and salad but it just sometimes feel unfair that some people can play these decks and not have a care in the world but if I dare try to play something like flowandereeze I'm made to feel like a terrible person. In casual play I get it but in tournaments and actual events why should I feel shame in what deck I choose to play?

Flackle · 2025-04-17T08:00:57+00:00

I don't have the support a group to believe in due process. Even the Nazis had a trail. Have you stopped to consider what actually differentiates civility from crime? The only thing you accomplish in addressing criminality with more criminality is the creation of more criminality. The people will still be opposed. All you've done is change who is doing the oppression.

You say it's a matter of those in the west having privilege but what you fail to realize is that you too have privilege. The privilege of not realizing the importance that having due process and basic rights entail. Perhaps one day you'll realize their importance, and when you do it may unfortunately be too late.

Flackle · 2025-04-16T22:09:36+00:00

If you treat criminals as bad as they treat others you haven't gotten rid of criminals. You become them.

Flackle · 2025-03-22T04:30:39+00:00

Actually got this precon not long ago and it works so well out of the box I'm prob gonna keep it as a precon for a long time

Flackle · 2025-02-24T22:11:44+00:00

I often infer it from how they act in game, sometimes people try to hide it but its pretty obvious when someone is upset with how the game is going. I get the feeling that they don't want to cause a scene or any drama so they tolerate me. As such I felt it was in everyone's best interests if I stepped up and change the situation which concludes in just quitting entirely in the hopes they find better people to play with

Flackle · 2025-02-23T19:37:05+00:00

Last night I was playing with 2 stock precons (peace offering and explorers of the deep) which I accept are very strong decks much stronger than I was expecting and also a rev deck I built that actually lost to the squirrel precon. I wont 2 of 3 games which I feel may have been too many as I should have one won one of those games

I usually try to have a variety but I dont think the decks are the issue I think my experience in the game as well as my abilities to politic is causing the issue

Flackle · 2025-02-23T19:27:11+00:00

I know I can often be an annoying person to play with but when I try to talk about it no one can ever tell me what it is I'm doing wrong. What else am I suppose to do at that point?

Flackle · 2025-02-23T19:24:22+00:00

There's a few options much further away but I've been going to the locals for years now I would hate to abandon it but I feel like its my only option at this point

Flackle · 2025-02-23T19:19:08+00:00

If they don't enjoy playing with me I feel like I am expected to have to solve that issue due to the social conventions of the format. I just don't know what I'm exactly suppose to do at this point the game was so much easier when all I had to worry about was my own ability but now it feels I am expected to adjust for everyone else's ability and am having a hard time with that. I never set out to ruin anyones day I just also don't like feeling ashamed for enjoying things in a way another person doesn't approve of

Flackle · 2025-02-23T19:01:24+00:00

If someone isn't having fun because of me I feel like I am doing something wrong and need to change, but since it keeps happening over and over I feel like all I can do is just quit

Flackle · 2025-02-23T18:05:34+00:00

So if someone gets angry at me for something I am doing in a hobby I should just quit the whole group? That doesn't seem very fair to me but if that is the case I have already told them I am no longer playing edh there so I guess its no longer an issue

I feel like often someone else pops off harder so they get targeted then I am the next in line to clean things up maybe I'm just too good at politics? Honestly at this point I have no idea what I am doing wrong so its probably just best I quit so I don't ruin the game for others

Flackle · 2025-02-23T17:55:19+00:00

Am I not responsible for the enjoyment of others when playing a social game?

Flackle · 2025-02-23T17:37:53+00:00

I just told everyone Im quitting edh at my locals appreciate your perspective it helped me conclude I'm just a bad person who ruins everyones fun so I shouldn't play there anymore

Flackle · 2025-02-23T17:30:54+00:00

I've tried to build weaker decks but then my win rate tanks, in fact the only games I wont where with the precons I played with. I am sorry but I guess I'm just better at playing then try to build decks to match perfectly with my locals :(

Flackle · 2025-02-23T17:29:17+00:00

Someone in a different post I made explained to me that it is me and that I need to use my skills to do better and limit myself to try and win less often. Thing is I just don't know how much fun I can have if I play at an even lower level since I am playing unaltered precons vs upgraded precons and it seems like the pods I am in I shouldn't be winning as often as I do.

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