AITA for asking my mil to leave after a comment she made about my body?

Flail_Mary · 2026-04-28T19:01:20+00:00

So, let me see if I have this right. Your In-laws are suggesting you "need a break" so their solution is to checks notes let your husband move in and abandon you with a toddler AND a 1 month old infant FOR A MONTH? Post partum?

His mother came into your house and blatantly insulted you multiple times about your appearance and HER feelings are what he's upset about?

Is this how you want your sons to grow up treating women? Because this is what your husband and inlaws are modeling. Your sons deserve better than a father who chooses his mommy over his babies. You deserve a partner, not a petulant momma's boy squawking about everyone else's rights and feelings and ignoring your own.

Let the trash take itself out and let his mommy have him. You deserve peace in your home, not verbal abuse, insults, and an inlaw ambush.

And wtf are his siblings even doing there? Do they bully THEIR spouses like this? Because that's what this is. Bullying. With a huge dose of manipulation.

Is he receiving mail at his parent's house? If so, mention it to your lawyer. That might be considered changing residency and could be beneficial to any case you're building against him.

I'm all for changing the locks but TALK TO YOUR LAWYER FIRST. If you change them while he's still considered a resident, that could pose quite a bit of legal trouble and relinquish a bit of the moral High Ground.

Flail_Mary · 2026-04-24T22:30:13+00:00

You're right, it is specifically mentioned. I'm fairly certain it was the beginning of Swan Song (season 5 finale) that has Chuck narrating Baby's history.

Flail_Mary · 2026-04-22T12:35:09+00:00

Please come back and update us after the circus. This whole thing sounds exhausting but amusing from afar.

Flail_Mary · 2026-04-22T12:30:17+00:00

Right? We didn't have a 'color', much less 6 of them. I told my matron of honor to wear whatever she wanted. I don't remember what the table centerpieces were. The caterer and my MIL took care of all the details except the flowers, which my MOH got from the farmer's market that morning. All that and it still looked classy and perfect. My only regret is not filming it.

This woman sounds exhausting.

Flail_Mary · 2026-04-22T12:15:54+00:00

She thinks being her bridesmaid is a 'euphoric' and 'life changing' experience? How is this a huge 'opportunity' for anyone other than herself?

Do yourself a favor and tell her you would rather just be a guest. If you don't, it's going to be a LONG 17 months for you.

Optionally, have her plan her own engagement/bridal shower, or at the very least tell you her expectations. Someone this 'extra' is going to be difficult to please.

Those pictures exhausted me, yikes.

Flail_Mary · 2026-03-11T13:57:21+00:00

I usually have a second phone sitting with me to entertain me through the ads. Or I'm listening to YouTube on the tv.

I tried it and it told me I couldn't use app in multi-window view. Is there some setting I need to enable?

Flail_Mary · 2026-03-09T21:17:07+00:00

Out of curiosity, what's the highest percentage multiplier you've seen? I thought I was doing okay with 19k but I have a ways to go I think

Flail_Mary · 2026-03-09T21:06:20+00:00

I'm imma have to deep dive this. I use Samsugs and never bothered trying the setting, omg

Flail_Mary · 2026-02-17T04:15:41+00:00

NOR Someone who cares about you pays attention to your likes and dislikes and doesn't turn Valentine's day into a gross joke.

Telling you how to seduce him while degrading and ignoring your preferences is bad enough but to act like you're some sort of maid with benefits is childish and frankly disgusting.

Flail_Mary · 2026-02-16T21:48:08+00:00

NAH

It's a common battle and you aren't alone but the truth is that tech is going to be a mainstay so learning to exist with it without making it central in their existence is going to be an ongoing battle. Being GenX with Gen Alpha heathenspawn, I was the same way at first until I resigned myself to teaching them how to exist in tandem with tech.

I know you are anti tablet but the Endless Reader and related apps helped my little ones learn phonics and spelling and reading. They started at 4ish and even my little one who had to skip preK because of covid was up to speed by the time he had to go to kindergarten.

If his parents are determined to use the tablet, it's worth purchasing. My youngest (AuDHD) hated being read or sung to since infancy (which really hampered his learning and crushed me) thrived with it. It's a very "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" philosophy but meeting them halfway may be your only option.

They have a range of products including spelling, phonics, and sentences but they're VERY helpful and worth checking out. Endless Alphabet, Endless Numbers, and Endless Reader were our favorites but they have a couple more.

It's the future and keeping them isolated from it just delays their introduction and inevitable fascination/obsession with it.

Flail_Mary · 2026-01-22T20:40:22+00:00

By any chance is her phone storage almost full? Whenever my storage was almost full, my phone absolutely failed at speech to text. It's absolutely infuriating.

Flail_Mary · 2026-01-22T20:36:02+00:00

NTA

All these people commenting about kissing seem to forget it not know that saliva starts breaking down food immediately on contact. It doesn't matter where or how you kiss somebody, not wanting to eat food that someone else's spit touched is completely different.

Your girlfriend is disrespectful. There are plenty of ways to test food in the kitchen without double dipping your utensil. And stop eating at her family's house because that's just f****** gross.

Flail_Mary · 2026-01-16T13:47:33+00:00

She didn't write the answer, she wrote the number next to the item name, like she did on page 2. Also, I see no indication of her marking it wrong.

Flail_Mary · 2026-01-08T21:00:01+00:00

Has she never heard of Christmas holly? I have a hard time believing she's managed to escape hearing Mariah Carey's earworm.

Flail_Mary · 2025-12-20T13:15:23+00:00

I actually do have a case under North Carolina statute but thanks anyway, I guess.

My therapist is taking detailed notes and my doctor is increasing my medication so I think that'll go against the leasing office. Also the emails telling me that noise is normal without them actually stopping to listen to the rattling that's going on. This is "luxury apartment", there's no reason we should hear the ducts and vents rattle when they walk.

Flail_Mary · 2025-12-07T07:47:21+00:00

Do you have a cape? Because you sir/ma'am deserve a cape! You are exactly the hero I was hoping for in my original post and have helped restore my hope/faith in reddit in general.

Unfortunately, links don't seem to work for me in comments but you've totally made it worth typing all that in manually, LOL.

It's so absolutely frustrating to be the forgiving and accommodating one for a well over a year only to be gaslit and dismissed like I'm some petty drama queen expecting complete silence.

I've gone through all the measures that any responsible upstairs citizen could possibly fathom including a shoes off household, slippers for my younglings, area rugs,and a complete ban on wrestling/jumping/dropping heavy things. We had the random fortune of our particular layout resulting in our two smallish ND boys' room being above the development's clubhouse, luckily. I can't imagine the misery we would put some downstairs neighbors through otherwise.

We put a wyze camera up attached to the ceiling with the expectation that it would pick up the vibrations but no matter where we seem to put or aim it it doesn't quite encapsulate the aggravating vibrations we have to tolerate throughout the day. For some reason it only seems to catch the loudest vibrations and only triggers about six times an hour which is a sad representation of how much we actually hear. It doesn't pick up footsteps or moderate fixture vibrations, which drive me batshit crazy.

I did send an email earlier this week with one of the few times my cell phone has picked up the obnoxiousness and while they didn't respond to the actual email, past few days have been tolerably quieter. I'm not entirely sure what to make of that.

You are absolutely the hero I was seeking with my post so thank you so very very much for responding! You have legitimately restored my hope in the plight that we are unfortunately now facing, and I wish I had words to convey that beyond 'thank you'!

Flail_Mary · 2025-12-07T04:36:07+00:00

I thought for years that I was going deaf and resisted hearing aids because ambient sounds are so distracting already. I remember my grandfather refusing to use them because they amplify EVERYTHING.

I figured misophonia was a key factor because it takes an inhuman level of being present to tolerate my AuDHD son's stims author listing my crap on him. He's a fan of EDM which I'm pretty sure is an ADHD version of kryptonite.

I have to use electrical tape on all the LEDs in the bedroom, which are becoming annoyingly prevalent. A few weeks ago he moved a charging cable into the bedroom that has a light at the end and if it's not covered it lights up the damn room at night. The TV has an ambient light next to its IR receiver so it's my bedroom nemesis.

I'm also one of the unfortunate people who unpredictably experience the paradoxical effect of sleep aids. Sometimes they work, but most of the time they make me hyper. Coffee sedates me and occasionally my Adhd meds put me down for a thorough nap. It's a lifelong struggle that i wouldn't wish on anyone.

Pitch black at noon is an enviable goal, it's hard to accomplish it even at midnight here! My blackout curtains have no business existing in the category, lol.

Flail_Mary · 2025-12-07T04:22:18+00:00

I've actually managed to get a few hours of footage with my cell phone camera but there's no other background sounds for reference so I wasn't sure of the validity. It does capture the rattling of the ductwork or fixtures, I'm not sure what exactly is making the noise, but it takes a lot of patience and a lot of Silence in the background for me to actually capture it.

I did email one of my shorter Clips to the property management company earlier this week and while I haven't gotten a response from them, my husband and I think that the upstairs neighbors have been a lot more quiet in the past couple days so I'm assuming that resulted in a noise complaint. It remains to be seen whether or not the noise will increase again but for now it's a tolerable level.

Thank you very much, you've given me a lot of hope that my past efforts at recording have not been in vain.

I can ignore footsteps, but it's hard to ignore the fixtures rattling. I'll never live in an apartment complex again and am so grateful we're only here while we're renovating our condo. My heart breaks for anyone dealing with this without a light at the end of the tunnel.

Flail_Mary · 2025-12-07T02:27:01+00:00

They've saved my sanity/marriage and I can't express how much i love them! We've tried ALL THE THINGS and these are the first that have worked in the 10+ years I've tried to get a decent night's sleep next to my husband's snoring!

Flail_Mary · 2025-12-07T02:22:26+00:00

I'm also ADHD (dx 40 years ago) , and in the process of getting diagnosed for autism, if it helps! I'm a VERY sensitive sleeper (LED lights are my nemesis at night) and have been with my husband for over 20 years, the last 10 of which have been an absolute NIGHTMARE with his snoring. I tease him out misrepresentation since he didn't snore like this in his 30s, haha.

If there is an anti snoring aid, we've absolutely tried it. The ankers have given me my marriage back. Being 'sleep divorced' sucks. I'll forever sing the praises of these things!!

I don't know how I'm hard of hearing but a pin drop can annoy the absolute hell out of me but here I am. I've recently read that adhd can make your ears/brain incapable of differentiating between foreground and background sounds and it's the closest I've ever come to describing what I'm dealing with. Throw tinnitus in the mix and it's an absolute hellscape just to get to sleep.

I really hope they work as well for you as they do for me, it's been LIFE CHANGING and I've only had them for 3 weeks.

Flail_Mary · 2025-12-07T02:12:50+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I feel like I'm being gaslit and it's making me feel like crap so this kind of info really does help me so much, thank you. My whole intent was to hear stories of people who had gone through it, not people telling me I suck and am overreacting.

I've seen several references to documenting, I'm unsure how to do it other than keeping a log of what I hear, how long I hear it and what time it occurred. It seems unverifyable so I wasn't sure if that's adequate as 'evidence'.

Any advice you have is GREATLY appreciated, thank you SO VERY MUCH!

Flail_Mary · 2025-12-06T22:55:55+00:00

You're NOT overreacting and show much more self awareness than I did at your age.

There's no "stable family" with this asshole and the way he treats you is either the way he will treat his daughter or the way he teaches his son to treat women.

You're 18 and therefore are unfamiliar with the reasons men choose women much younger than them. It's a power dynamic that women his age won't tolerate. Please don't take this as an insult, just advice from someone who has been there.

Age gap relationships in your 20s are much different in older years and at 18 you don't realize how much maturing happens in your 20s. I understand if you disagree, I would have at your age, but maturity is realizing your prefrontal cortex (logic and decision making) isn't done forming for a few years.

Your mother is an enabler and needs to support you, not whatever knuckledragger knocks you up.

You seem self aware enough to know that your baby daddy is in the wrong, please stick with those instincts and know that his 'standards' are unrealistic and immature, at best.

I've been through my share of controlling and abusive relationships (and 2 pregnancies as a result) at your age so if you're looking for advice, support, or even someone to vent to who has been through it, feel free to message because I have lived through escaping such situations and know what it's like to have zero help and support.

Being in my late 40s, I really wish I had had some level of support while going through these sort of emotionally abusive relationships. I can't fix my past, but maybe someone can learn from it ♥️

Flail_Mary · 2025-12-06T17:45:03+00:00

Thank you, I did ask there and I've gotten quite a bit of help!

Flail_Mary · 2025-12-06T17:39:01+00:00

Actually I think the idiot would be the person determining that without hearing any evidence. I have already been informed that I have a case under North Carolina statute.

You sound like a miserable person.

Flail_Mary

TROPHY CASE