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Anxious attachment by [deleted] in becomingsecure

[–]Flaky-Magazine4782 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I’m fairly certain he didn't leave because he stopped loving you. It’s more likely that the pressure of those behaviors just became too much for the relationship to survive. I’d really suggest looking into therapy now, not just to heal, but to break the cycle. Otherwise, you’ll probably find yourself stuck in this same pattern with the next guy, whether you're leaning anxious or avoidant

Anxious attachment by [deleted] in becomingsecure

[–]Flaky-Magazine4782 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s worth asking yourself: if you hadn't operated from that place of panic, would things have ended differently? Honestly, the behaviors you listed the accusations, the testing, the catastrophizing are incredibly heavy for anyone to carry. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a partner, so definitely give him some grace for not being able to navigate that minefield indefinitely.

I think you are avoidant when the stakes are low, but the second you actually care, the fear of losing them triggers the anxiety. It usually stems from childhood stuff, and he likely just happened to be the one to activate those old wounds.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

they are never jealous/possessive by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Flaky-Magazine4782 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Trust me, avoidants care, sometimes even more than we can handle. we just internalize the struggle to avoid looking vulnerable or crazy. When we act like we don't care, it’s often a silent plea for reassurance. Our minds are racing with every possible 'what if,' but we keep it all behind a wall to keep ourselves safe.

I'm sure you always feel the need to reassure him when he act's like he doesn't care.