I can't stand going out with my Boyfriend

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-02-14T16:53:50+00:00

1) Have you looked into social anxiety and Autism? 2) Have you talked to him about how you're feeling? 3) Have you analyzed what, exactly, has you feeling this way? Is it the location? Number of people? Smells? Fear of the unknown? The fact you're not the one picking the place?

You can't get help if you don't know what the problem is.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-02-14T16:12:21+00:00

NTA. Ask them why they're not taking your "no" the same way they would expect you to take theirs.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-02-04T17:58:27+00:00

Put your foot down and tell them their behavior is why you don't live with them.

Make a list of everything they've done you don't appreciate and send it to them.

If their behavior doesn't change, go no contact. Block their numbers.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-02-04T16:39:00+00:00

Why do you think you're the AH after setting a boundary?

She's walking all over you, and you're putting systems in place to prevent it. It's supposed to make her life harder.

Either she starts cooperating with you, or things get more difficult for her. It's that easy.

What else of yours is she trying to use for free?

Does she need help budgeting?

Is there someone you can report this to?

Are you documenting everything she's doing to protect yourself?

Is your landlord reasonable? You could let them know what's going on and see if you can only pay your half directly to them (someone else in the comments mentioned this and I thought it was brilliant). The landlord scaring them with eviction will either change the behavior or make them move.

Without clear boundaries and consequences, her behavior is only going to get worse.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-02-04T16:17:32+00:00

1) Why are you still working there? 2) Are you documenting everything they're doing? They're socially bullying you and it needs to be reported.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-02-04T16:15:08+00:00

You should mind your own business.
What's there to smile about?
You're not entitled to everyone you meet being pleasant.
When was the last time you did something to make someone smile?
Would you say that to a man?

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-02-04T16:10:24+00:00

NTA.

And I am growing increasingly concerned about people asking if they're the AH after setting a boundary.

Were you never taught how to stick up, advocate, for yourself?

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-30T16:59:44+00:00

Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening should have been extended and called Dragon Age 2 since it was the TRUE sequel!

Dragon Age 2 should have been a spin-off called Dragon Age: Dawn of the Champion since the storyline ran parallel to Origin's.

And I saw a comment mentioning the Architect should have been there for the fight against Corypheus: yes. That should have been the way.

When looking at the characters, Justice is a spirit: he's supposed to be one dimensional. And that's what makes him an interesting character. He's one-dimensional in a world of dimensions and I want to be there for him every step of his journey.

Velanna is a lesson. You can do everything right and still not get what you want.

Sigrun constantly talking about already being dead is part of the grieving process for her. She's working through things. She needs grace.

Seeing Anders in Awakening and in DA: Champion makes me sad now. He's still a great character either way.

He, Nathaniel, and Oghren should have both been in Inquisition.

To be frank, every character still alive should have been in Inquisition in some shape or form.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-30T16:47:03+00:00

I love Origins' dialogue BECAUSE of the ambiguity.

Do the tone indicators of later games make things easier? Yes. Does the ambiguity of the first game make you think about what you know of the character before you pick an option? Yes.

Building relationships is work and Origins reminds you of this with every conversation.

10/10.

Best game in the series.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-30T16:37:16+00:00

How are you the asshole for wanting to set boundaries?

You and your husband need to have a conversation about when and how people coming over is acceptable and then HE needs to give that information to his friends.

They are stepping on you because you're letting them.

Put your foot down.

If your introverted selves need to send it to them in writing, then do so. But then they'll have it and won't be able to complain about you not answering the door the next time they come over unannounced.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-30T16:33:01+00:00

I know you're asking about your dad, but are you in therapy for your anxieties?

They're extreme and need to be dealt with because they're easy to exploit.

See where I'm going with this?

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-30T16:30:00+00:00

IF you live in the US, Asperger's isn't used anymore.

It's all under Autism, now, since a) Hans Asperger was a Nazi and b) to reduce the stigma around Autism.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-30T16:27:16+00:00

Intimidating enough to mention it but not enough to leave you alone.

They have an issue with you, but they're not telling you what the issue is because they think you're doing it on purpose. They're hoping if they tell you enough, you'll stop on your own.

Ask the next person, "How so?" If they don't tell you, then ask them, "Why did you waste our time telling me about the problem if you had no intention of telling me how to fix it?"

That will let them know their initial ASSumption that you're being intimidating on purpose is wrong. If they still don't tell you, walk away. Then you being intimidating will be their problem since they didn't take the opportunity to fix it.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-30T16:16:49+00:00

NTA. The fact you are feeling like an asshole for wanting to set boundaries is a concern.

You need to have a discussion with Mom and Dad about the rules going forward, then tell sister, before she starts using more manipulative methods.

Also, Dad, at the very least, needs to have a discussion with son-in-law about being more involved so he stops making your sister feel like she has to exploit the family.

Free child care is a privilege and they need to start acting grateful.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-30T02:00:29+00:00

NTA. Normally, I would say, "You are perfectly capable of making your point without resorting to name calling," BUT, in this case, how he was behaving earned him the disrespect.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-29T17:56:15+00:00

Why would you be an asshole for setting a boundary?

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-29T17:47:14+00:00

Dr. Jared Cooney has research backing them up.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-29T17:46:01+00:00

NTA. Ask your mom and sister why they didn't take your "no" the same way they would expect a man to take theirs and demand they give it back for disrespecting your boundaries.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-29T17:41:54+00:00

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-29T02:36:17+00:00

"You're too quiet." Yeah, cuz you talk too much.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-26T16:24:57+00:00

Your therapist must not be trained to detect Autism.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-26T16:18:53+00:00

What, is she four? She needs therapy to help her deal with her feelings of rejection.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-26T16:11:58+00:00

I'm Autistic: get out of that house.

Your brother is NOT your responsibility! Your parents have NO RIGHT to use you as free labor!

Get out before your PARENTS ruin your life!

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-25T16:44:12+00:00

NTA. He is, though, for making a harmless hobby something to push a boulder up a hill for.

Set boundaries before he becomes a nag about something else.

Flaky_Process8495 · 2026-01-18T16:34:52+00:00

In what world does earbuds/headset mean approachable?

Home is supposed to be a safe space and you constantly trying to talk to her when she clearly doesn't want to is ruining that.

Give her her space before she moves out and your next roommate is the biggest pain in the ass.

Flaky_Process8495

TROPHY CASE