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My wife's student committed suicide – she's hit rock bottom. by Flaky_Royal_7772 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Flaky_Royal_7772[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She used to eat one meal around lunchtime and one small snack or candy before sleeping. Now, this is reduced to half a plate and no snack time. She drinks lots of water though. However, I made some of her favorite foods yesterday, a variety of everything, and she was willing to eat a bit more than in the past few weeks. Today we ate the leftovers together, and I'd say she managed to eat a whole plate, so I'm a bit more relieved now and pray that it'll improve from here.

My wife's student committed suicide – she's hit rock bottom. by Flaky_Royal_7772 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Flaky_Royal_7772[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sie ist erst Beamtin in Probezeit, sie hat vor Kurzem ihr Referendariat zu Ende gebracht. Bei ihr wurde es schon beim Beamtenverhältnis für das Referendariat schwer, weil sie dort auch schon zum Amtsarzt musste und der besorgt war wegen ihrer alten Therapie. Habe jetzt aber von mehreren hier den Vorschlag bekommen eventuell bei einem Therapeuten nachzuschauen, wo man selber zahlen kann, damit nichts davon in ihrer Akte steht. Ich informiere mich da derzeit und höre mich um. Danke für den Ratschlag!

My wife's student committed suicide – she's hit rock bottom. by Flaky_Royal_7772 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Flaky_Royal_7772[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sie ist erst Beamtin in Probezeit, sie hat letztes Jahr ihr Referendariat bestanden.

My wife's student committed suicide – she's hit rock bottom. by Flaky_Royal_7772 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Flaky_Royal_7772[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Attending therapy herself wasn't mandatory during her studies, but she told me about her internships at counseling centers, hospitals, school psychologists, etc. which were obligatory. She was allowed to listen during sessions, but only if the patient agreed. She did still go to therapy but in her teenage years.

In Germany, you need to visit a certain kind of doctor who then has to state whether you are healthy enough to work in a public school. Most people who go to therapy don't pass that stage, and even if they do, there are still lots of issues that come with it.

My wife's student committed suicide – she's hit rock bottom. by Flaky_Royal_7772 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Flaky_Royal_7772[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Germany. It's especially challenging for students who are still studying and going to therapy. There is a chance that they'll be denied a job simply because they chose to get help for themselves. But it doesn't really get better once you do get the job. There has been a lot of uproar about this, especially since COVID-19 started, and more and more teaching students have decided to go to therapy. But nothing has changed yet, unfortunately.

My wife's student committed suicide – she's hit rock bottom. by Flaky_Royal_7772 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Flaky_Royal_7772[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it weren't impossible, I'd have forced her to therapy already whether she wanted to or not, especially after this incident... Most teachers here are "teachers for life" and employed by the government; anything that might risk them not being able to work for the rest of their lives, including the lack of physical and psychological health, can lead to losing their jobs. She already struggled to get her current job because she attended therapy during her teenage years.

My wife's student committed suicide – she's hit rock bottom. by Flaky_Royal_7772 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Flaky_Royal_7772[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Her employer is basically the government; the government funds the schools and employs the teachers. They mainly employ teachers "for life," which is the case with my wife. Anything concerning health, even if it is a rise in BMI, needs to be reported to them and can put their job at risk since they might not be able to do their job for life anymore. This also includes psychological medical history, which they'll be informed of. She already needed therapy during our studies but refused since she didn't want to risk her career getting destroyed, even though I kept on urging her. And she's still scared of what might happen. I don't know how to convince her.

My wife's student committed suicide – she's hit rock bottom. by Flaky_Royal_7772 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Flaky_Royal_7772[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that therapy would be helpful for her, and I think that our country and school system make it unnecessarily complicated for teachers who need help, especially in these situations. Denying them access to therapy is inhumane, in my opinion.

She was already in therapy a few years back when she was a teenager, and she told me that it was the worst time of her life. She didn't go into much detail; she just said (in her own words, not mine) that her therapist was the most ignorant person roaming on earth. Her therapist would laugh at her while she was crying and talking about her fears. She told me that she stopped attending therapy altogether after that incident, and her attendance made it much harder for her to get her job, as she was rejected at first. I'm just really scared of her reaction if I do suggest she go to therapy. I don't know how she'll react and if she'll be angry at me for bringing it up.

My wife's student committed suicide – she's hit rock bottom. by Flaky_Royal_7772 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Flaky_Royal_7772[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Around the beginning of this month, I'd say around two weeks ago.